Monday, September 13, 2021

Disney Dungeons and Dragons 2: The Villains


It's time for the bad guys to have a turn. 

There's something about putting characters (and people) into defined categories. Whether it be Hogwarts houses, Pokemon types and teams, or in this case, Dungeons and Dragons classes. So here are a few classifications for our favorite Disney villains, should you ever want to roll one up in a game. Don't forget to check out the classes for Disney heroes as well.

Please note: Not all villains have classes, since some of them are scary through the sheer force of their will on others and not the power they wield. Looking at you Lady Tremaine


Artificer - Syndrome
I wanted to put Bowler Hat Guy from Meet the Robinsons here but I figured that might be too obscure for most people to get so we'll put the techno-crazed villain of the Incredibles here. He has no powers of his own but instead builds tech to mimic the power of Supers. His ultimate goal is to eliminate the need for Supers by making everyone exactly alike with his gadgets. If only he figured out how to make a tear-away cape...


Bard - Ernesto De La Cruz
The evil crooner from Coco, this character killed his partner and stole his brilliant songs, making him the most popular musician in the afterlife. He can charm anyone into doing what he wants, and keeps the entire world in his palm long after his death. Only a master bard could pull off the Performance check to accomplish that. 


Barbarian - Ratigan
There's no written rule that a barbarian has to be an idiot, just like there's no rule that says a bard has to be a sex maniac. Ratigan of The Great Mouse Detective drips with intelligence and charisma, mostly thanks to the brilliant voice work by the legendary Vincent Price. However during the climax of the film Ratigan shows his true rat-like colors as he fights Basil in Big Ben, his fury on full display. 


Cleric - Judge Frollo
A priest in the original novel, the villain of The Hunchback of Notre Dame follows a shadowy and twisted version of Christianity, one that allows him to wield power over anyone he deems unworthy of God's love. He legitimately thinks he is doing God's will by burning Esmeralda because he judges her to be a witch and all gypsies to be wicked. Whether he's wrong or not he's still devoted to his religion, and if he had more combat experience he would be a paladin instead. 


Druid - Maleficent
So this one's a slight stretch but hear me out: 
1: She's a fairy which are usually either sorcerers or druids. 
2: She makes thorns grow up all around Aurora to protect the curse, which is total Druid
3: She turns into a dragon, which has got to be some Wild Shape mastery. 
Tell me I'm wrong. 
Also it makes Sleeping Beauty even more fun. 


Fighter - Clayton
The villain from Tarzan wants to be a ranger. Everyone thinks he's a ranger. In reality, he's just a hunter who gets lucky. A ranger wouldn't need a half naked man to show him where a herd of 600 pound monsters were living. He is a fighter though because despite anything else he at least knows how to fight. 


Monk - Namaari
Probably the newest character on this list, Namaari is the antagonist from Raya and the Last Dragon, Princess of Fang, she is trained in a combination of martial arts and duel swords that she uses like Prince Zuko from Avatar the Last Airbender. Less fire-bending but still quite effective and a joy to watch. 


Paladin - Gantu
Gantu is like the Javert of Lilo and Stitch. He goes after Stitch with such a fervor it could almost be called zealotry. Weather he's right or wrong is shady at best, but his goal is to protect the universe from Experiment 626 by any means necessary, even if it means kidnapping a child to do it. He's the perfect example that while paladins may undertake a holy mission, that doesn't mean they're always good. 


Ranger - Gaston
McLeach from The Rescuers: Down Under was a close second to this spot but like Clayton he needed someone else's help to find his prey. Gaston from Beauty and the Beast though is an established hunter and tracker. He may be a completely detestable human being otherwise but when hunting Beast in the castle he's shown to have significant skills on his own. Gaston is the hero of the village because he keeps them safe from wild beasts, his only problem is that his own prejudice and vanity keeps him from seeing that he's become the real danger the village should fear. 


Rogue - Mother Gothel
In the course of Tangled Mother Gothel keeps a magic flower hidden, steals a child from a well guarded castle, stays on the lamb less than a day's travel from said castle for some 18 years, follows Rapunzel without her knowing, and stabs Eugene in the back with a critical hit. If she isn't a rogue I don't know what one is. 


Sorcerer - Jafar and Ursula
A two way tie between the villains of The Little Mermaid and Aladdin, these two are both inborn sorcerers that channel their power through their arcane focuses, that being a snake staff for Jafar and a conch shell necklace for Ursula. While in the film itself we don't get origins for either of their powers, since neither seem to have a patron required by a warlock, require a spellbook like a wizard, or have any religious affiliation like a cleric, it's safe to assume that they're both high powered sorcerers using their magic to devastate others. 


Wizard - Evil Queen
Snow White's Evil Queen needs a spellbook for every one of her horrid spells and potions. She rarely uses magic, indicating a limited number of uses, so we're going to go with full wizard on this one. 


Warlock - Dr. Facilier
The villain from The Princess and the Frog has multiple songs specifically attributing his powers to his "Friends on the Other Side", probably meaning the Loa of Voodoo tradition. He's made deals, or pacts, with the Loa to gain his power and if he doesn't keep up his end of the bargain his soul is theirs. It's a harsh relationship but nobody said that a warlock/patron pact was healthy. 

-JOE

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