Everyone has their opinions on the Star Wars franchise at this point. Some people like the prequels. Some people like to complain about the sequels. Some people are just around for Baby Yoda. Despite all our differences, I think we can all agree on how great prequel memes are. Any line taken out of context can become a great meme, whether it's a "high ground" meme, an "I am the senate" meme, or something else altogether. So here are a few wonderful prequel memes for your enjoyment.
The tradition of posting online what you're grateful for around this time of year is nothing new, but did you notice that before Friday the November gratitude posts seemed a little more scarce than in earlier years? It's almost as if it was hard to think of things to be grateful for in 2020. How odd I wonder why....
President Nelson's call to give thanks has ignited this year's wave of Thanksgiving posts right on time. The holidays were just not feeling all that holiday this year, since at time of writing gathering with those outside of one's household is off limits in Utah and the numbers of COVID-19 infections are still going up. This was starting to shape up to be one of those cheesy holiday specials where somebody comes by and steals Christmas.
Which brings me to the geeky side of my post: This reminds me of "How the Grinch Stole Christmas", the original animated piece not the Jim Carrey one or the CGI thing. If you remember when the Grinch is listing all the things he hates about Christmas (Which I get) at the very end he says "And those Who's big and small will stand hand and hand, and start singing". After the Grinch steals Christmas he stands on his mountain, hand to his ear to hear the misery his great theft has caused. This was the world last week, as the holidays grew closer, the joy robbed and distorted in them. Anxiety uncertainty and fear raged as it looked like the holiday spirit just wasn't going to come.
Then, over the hills, the #GiveThanks posts started arriving. Like the Who's song, "it came without ribbons, it came without tags. It came without packages boxes or bags!" It came because of the call of a prophet, reminding us that the holidays don't come from a store, or tradition, or normality, the spirit comes from within us. It comes just the same.
This is the first time in a very long time that the Christmas movies are right, that the holidays are in danger. Thanksgiving looks pretty good but once however it's celebrated happens let's try to keep the momentum going and remember what's really important about this time of the year. With the holidays pillaged we need to double down on what's really important, prove that we don't need the excess to celebrate, that we don't need a good year to have a good Thanksgiving, what we need is our faith, in each other and in our Father in Heaven.
-JOE
Ariel - Gryffindor
This month marks the thirty-first anniversary of Ariel’s adventure on dry land and since then she’s become the only Disney Princess with an on-screen child. When I went into this movie, I was thinking she’d be Hufflepuff or Ravenclaw because of her blind loyalty to Eric or her curiosity of the human world. But instead she just wanted to explore and adventure with the humans. She came off very Hermione-ish in the end, so she ended up in Gryffindor. You can meet her at Magic Kingdom in her Grotto and there’s an Ariel’s Grotto character meal you can attend at California Adventure.
She’s one of the few official Disney Princesses to lack a Disney Prince, despite having three suitors. Instead of being married off for political purposes and accepting her fate as a typical princess, Merida demonstrated various Slytherin traits in order to change her fate. She’s resourceful and cunning and she was determined to preserve her identity. That sounds pretty Slytherin to me. You can find her near the Princess Pavilion at Disneyland if you ever want to meet her.
Throughout Frozen and Frozen 2, Anna wasn’t your typical Ravenclaw. Her blind loyalty to Hans and Elsa could have easily placed her in Hufflepuff, but she reminded me a little too much of Luna Lovegood for that. She demonstrated individuality, creativity, wit, and wisdom throughout their adventures. In fact her wisdom was enough that Elsa felt comfortable leaving this Ravenclaw in charge of Arendelle at the end of Frozen 2. You can find her at Epcot or you can visit her at the Animation Studio at California Adventure.
Like her sister, Queen Elsa showed herself to be a Ravenclaw. She was sharp, wise, and creative in how she defended her kingdom. And honestly she’s a classic overthinking, like plenty of Ravenclaws I know. With her ice creations in both movies, I don’t think anyone can deny her creativity either. All these things put her in Rowena’s charmed house, Ravenclaw. Like her sister, she can be found at Epcot and California Adventure.
She may look like a naive Hufflepuff, but the more you watch Tangled and its television show Rapunzel’s Tangled Adventure, the more you’ll see her as daring, brave, adventurous, and chivalrous. Throughout all her adventures, she had to do what was right. Even if it meant believing in her lost friend Cassandra. That type of chivalrous honor is exactly what Gryffindor stands for. You can find her at the Princess Pavilion at Disneyland and at Princess Fairytale Hall in the Magic Kingdom.
She may never be an official Disney Princess, but she’s our honorary princess for today. I was tempted to put her in Gryffindor, because of her brave and chivalrous display in saving Robert. However, her central character traits centered more around those found in Hufflepuff: loyalty (to her prince), diligence (in searching for him), and fairness (in how she treated even strangers). If there were ever a stereotypically Puff Princess, it’d be Giselle.
Only five more princesses to go. Where do you think the remaining heroines fit? And how do you feel about the princesses sorted thus far?
Spoiler alert: This article contains major spoilers from The Boys Season Two, which is totally insane!
And yes, I mean truly insane. The only thing crazier than the supes is Billy Butcher himself! Well in honor of the Seven, grab a Fresca and read the top seven most insane moments of The Boys Season Two, available now on Amazon Prime.
There you have it! Seven insane moments. Makes you wonder if Pippi Longstocking used Compound V...
“And my father also was killed by them, and I even remain alone to write the sad tale of the destruction of my people. But behold, they are gone, and I fulfil the commandment of my father. And whether they will slay me, I know not.” (Mormon 8:3)
As we approach the end of 2020, we finish off a very interesting year. Pandemic, riots, elections. But let’s not forget that we also had the Book of Mormon as our Come Follow Me study this year. And what a year for it to be.
With social distancing and isolation, it can be very lonely. Whether you’re single and have little human contact outside of zoom meetings. Whether you’re married with kids and can’t find a spare second to yourself. Or whether you’re working from home and your walls are closing in on you. Loneliness comes in many forms, but remember that you are not alone.
Moroni, son of Mormon and final author of the Book of Mormon, spent countless years on his own. His people had been killed and he was being pursued by his enemies. Even before his people had died, they had spiritually killed themselves by rejecting God. He must have felt isolated from the very start.
And yet he had hope.
As we finish off the Book of Mormon this year, remember the hope and faith that Moroni had. He spoke of faith, hope, and charity. Even though he had no one left. He didn’t know whether he’d be slaughtered, starved, or translated. But he persevered.
Mormon and Moroni knew this time would come (see Mormon 8:35) and they knew we’d need the words they’d write. They knew we’d need hope in lonely and trying times. So here are a few scriptures that I love about hope. And I hope they help you.
“Wherefore, ye must press forward with a steadfastness in Christ, having a perfect brightness of hope, and a love of God and of all men. Wherefore, if ye shall press forward, feasting upon the word of Christ, and endure to the end, behold, thus saith the Father: Ye shall have eternal life.” (2 Nephi 31:20)
“For, for this intent have we written these things, that they may know that we knew of Christ, and we had a hope of his glory many hundred years before his coming; and not only we ourselves had a hope of his glory, but also all the holy prophets which were before us.” (Jacob 4:4)
“Wherefore, whoso believeth in God might with surety hope for a better world, yea, even a place at the right hand of God, which hope cometh of faith, maketh an anchor to the souls of men, which would make them sure and steadfast, always abounding in good works, being led to glorify God.” (Ether 12:4)
“Wherefore, if a man have faith he must needs have hope; for without faith there cannot be any hope.” (Moroni 7:42)
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| Because of Jesus Christ, there is always hope. |
Breath of the Wild has already been discussed to death on other media outlets, it being the flagship game of the Switch, one of the best games in the Zelda franchise, and one of the best games of all time. Today though, I want to talk about something I realized when I beat the game.
Ahoy, they be spoilers ahead.
The Heroes' Journey
A quick recap on the story of Breath of the Wild:
Link wakes up in a tomb (been there) and finds out he's been asleep for about 100 years. In the interim Hyrule has gone to crap due to the castle being taken over by Calamity Gannon, a giant ghost-pig monster that has dreams of ending the world. He's being held back by Princess Zelda's magic, but her strength is starting to wain so Link has to get his life together and start saving Hyrule.
Along the way he's got to get armor, stamina, weapons, hearts and giant magicpunk robots operational to take the enemy down. He also needs to collect photos on his magic tablet that will help wake up his memories of his life, particularly his love of Zelda.
I Have Priorities I'm not Lazy
Now the game has two endings. The true ending is if you beat Gannon and regain all your memories, and Link and the princess will live happily ever after. Now I'm not a completionism in video games... Or anything really.... I take what I like then leave the obsessive collecting to those with more patience. The part I skipped was collecting all the memories, because I just didn't care I was having fun fighting monsters and doing the puzzles. When I got the incomplete ending though the scene went as follows:
Link and Zelda stood on the plains, Gannon defeated, and Zelda asks if Link remembers her. Link looks awkwardly at her with Zelda looking disappointed and saying "Oh". The fade to black happens and the game is over.
Self vs Others
So pretending I'm not lazy let me rewrite the story based on the alternate ending. Link wakes up and is told he is the legendary warrior. As he adventures he sees the land devastated by the darkness unleashed by Gannon. He is driven by his quest to free this land that he vaguely remembers. He's told that he could restore his own memories, but the question is why? The memories have no combat value. They have no access to a secret weapon. They only provide a distraction from the main quest, a quest that already has enough distractions in it with all the people Link is trying to help and little leaf critters he finds.
In this version, Link sacrifices his memories for the good of the kingdom. He's focused solely on saving Hyrule and its people, and he will figure out his own life once that is over.
I like this version of Link a lot more than previous versions. Now I fully understand that Link is supposed to be an avatar on which we are meant to project ourselves onto, hence why he never really gets a voice or a personality. In fact in writing this blog I've had trouble keeping the tenses straight and not referring to Link as me, because I was the one making the choices for Link and not him. That being said I projected onto my Link a hero who wants to save the kingdom no matter what, not just potentially sacrificing his life but sacrificing his own sense of self, his own sense of identity. Link thus has a reason to be a blank slate, because he chose his kingdom over himself.
Happy Ending?
The argument against this is "What about Zelda?" She's been waiting 100 years for Link to show up and help put Gannon in the ground, and now she's got a blank faced elf and a wrecked castle to deal with. Where's her happy ending? The thing is, this may be the only way they can have a sincere relationship. From the flashbacks we get (well that I did unlock during the story), we see that their relationship was completely based on their quest to stop Gannon. With him gone though they can build a real relationship based on who they are and not what purpose they serve.
So I say this is the better ending because they get to start fresh. They get to have a relationship with each other, and not always planning a war. They get to be a real couple, and I have no doubt that the two could go on their own quest to fill out Link's photo album, making new memories along the way.
Halloween is hands down my absolute favorite holiday of the year. Knowing this year, and how the big Halloween parties would be cancelled, the trick-or-treating would be sparse at best, and things would just be a general downer, I decided to celebrate Halloween on my own all month long.
So I watched a horror movie each day in October.
Notice I didn't say "Good", "Scary", or "Family-Friendly", though I did try to see movies I've never seen before but near the end had to give up and start watching some classics.
So be warned. Safety is not guaranteed, but you should be in for a scream.
I decided that writing a review for each movie would take another month to both write and read, so I'm going to give some awards for some of the best (and worst) films I found out there.
The films I watched were:
Hellraiser
Hellraiser 2
Children of the Corn
Elvira: Mistress of the Dark
A Haunted House
Poltergeist
Cabin in the Woods
Cabin Fever
Frankenweenie
Anaconda
Green Inferno
The Autopsy of Jane Doe
Truth or Dare
Hostel
Species
Midsommar
30 Days of Night
My Bloody Valentine
Wishmaster
Crawl
The Night Eats the World
The Conjuring 2
Night of the Living Dead
Addams Family
Hereditary
Mary Shelly's Frankenstein
Sleepy Hollow
Books of Blood
Invasion of the Body Snatchers
The Nightmare Before Christmas
Elmo's Gold Star Award for Bestest Monster
If I was going to hang out with any of the monsters from this list it would be the Djinn from Wishmaster. He grants wishes but always with an ironic twist, like the girl who wanted to always be beautiful who he turned into a mannequin, or the opening scene when a guy's skeleton crawls its way out of his body (I have no idea what to wish for to get THAT!). The Djinn was cool and as long as I was careful with my phrasing he'd be a blast to hang out with.
Eye Fell Off the Muppet Award for Most Disappointing Monster
This was a race to the bottom but that would have to be He Who Walks Behind The Rows from Children of the Corn. This thing gets built up as some big bad pagan/Lovecraftian god and when we finally get to see it the thing is a bad special effect that changes colors. Such a waste. I'd have been happy if it was a guy in a corn-on-the-cobb costume with a chainsaw.
Immediately Watch Cinderella Afterwards Award for Scariest Movie
To be honest I'm a sick weirdo and don't get scared by things that scare most people. I like possession movies, body horror, and torture movies, so to have a movie scare me is a unique thing. That being said the one that did get to me the most was The Green Inferno, a film about a group of college folks getting kidnapped and eaten by a tribe of cannibals. I won't go into everything that made this movie disturbing, but let's just say I no longer hum while I prepare dinner.
Wake Me When The Killer Does Something Interesting Award for Most Boring Movie
I'd give this one to Halloweentown, which I attempted to watch but about 20 minutes in my brain started trying to crawl out of my skull so I had to turn it off, so instead I'll give it to Frankenweenie. This was a Disney tribute to the old black and white monster films, but it was just not interesting. After the initial resurrection of the dead dog the plot just meandered until it finally ended in a "Well, I guess death isn't a thing anymore, hooray" ending.
"I Can't Believe This Was In The Dollar Bin!" Award for Most Surprisingly Well Done Movie
I was honestly scared of this ending up on my worst list, but the 2019 animated Addam's Family movie was such a delight to watch I was disappointed I hadn't seen it sooner. My family grew up on the Addam's Family, both the modern remakes and the classic show, so for another remake I was worried they'd not understand it, or ruin it somehow, but no this was definitely the Addam's Family I love, just with a few modern twists.
"He's In The Closet Get Him!" Award for Most Obnoxious Character
I'm just going to give this award to all the stoners who made appearances in all these films. Never adding anything to the story but "Dude, where's my pot?" subplots, whenever they showed up I just wanted something to come along and eat them, which I suppose would technically make them an edible.
Exception is given to Marty from Cabin in the Woods whose pot smoking is actually a major plot point and helps him survive and see a ton of cool monsters.
The Inside Out Award For Most Unique Protagonist
Like a movie about the secret lives of emotions, this hero was one who found a special place in my heart for not being a cliché or stereotype just there to make it through the movie, and this year the award goes to Elvira from Elvira, Mistress of the Dark. And no, she's not on here for the obvious reasons. Her personality of not caring what other people think, her willingness to find fun wherever she is, and her overall attitude made her a delight to watch, and I'm going to stop here before I dig myself any further into a hole.
Fool of a Took Award for Most Useless Character
Most useless and most obnoxious are two different things, since as stated before even one of the pot heads came in useful at one point. This award though goes to the dad from Crawl, whose list of bad decisions included A: Not talking to his adult daughters about he and their mother's divorce causing them to blame themselves, B: Deciding that getting on the roof during a flood while surrounded by alligators was a bad idea for some reason, and C: Convincing his daughter that she could swim faster than said alligators. I did like this character at first but by the end I was disappointed he didn't end up as gator food.
Law And Order With Guest Star Scooby Doo Award for Dumbest Premise
Rounding out the top of this list is the movie that most embodies the question "Why are we doing this?" In this case it goes to Snakes on a Plane, where an international drug kingpin decides that the best way to kill one witness is to fill a plane with deadly snakes and just hope that everything works out. It results in a fun movie but it's the kind of movie where you have to shut down your higher brain function to enjoy properly.
Supernatural With Special Guest Star Scooby Doo Award for Best Idea Ever
This is the place for the best, most mind blowing concept that a movie on this list had that left me genuinely impressed and reminded me why I love horror movies. Special nod goes to Night of the Living Dead who started the entire zombie genre, but since that was one I'd already seen before this marathon it sadly doesn't get the reward. Other acknowledgements go to the much talked about Hereditary and Midsommar, but since they've received so much attention I feel like they can rest their laurels here. The film though that I kept thinking of after I saw it and was genuinely impressed by was The Autopsy of Jane Doe, a genuinely intense film about an autopsy that goes horribly wrong as it's revealed who and what this person actually was. This was high cinema with a horror twist and I loved every minute of it.
As I say farewell to October I look at the last two months of 2020 with both dread and resignation, as I know that for me the best has already happened. October is a time when the weird things I'm passionate about become the norm and briefly the whole world is like me, intrigued and obsessed with the macabre and the creepy. I am looking for another theme to do to stay occupied and distracted from the nightmare dystopia that is our world, but till then I'll just be here eating my Halloween candy and remembering the good times, like that time that they opened the basement door and the little girl was eating her father but it's cool because he was a total jerk and the zombies were banging on the windows...
