Friday, October 9, 2020

Not Out of the Woods

Into the Woods was one of the first musicals I ever saw; the moment I heard Cinderella sing "I wish", I knew I was hooked on Broadway shows. Lots of other other works have worked to upend traditional tales (Once Upon a Time, Shrek, Wicked, several books by Jon Scieszka), but none has done it with as much grace, art, and finesse as Stephen Sondheim and James Lapine.

I'm incredibly impressed with some of the lessons that Into the Woods has taught me: 

  • Though it's fearful, though it's deep, though it's dark, and though you may lose the path ... you can't just act, you have to listen. You can't just act, you have to think.
  • Nice is different than good.
  • Sometimes the things you most wish for are not to be touched.
  • If you know what you want, you go and you find it and you get it.
  • There are big, tall, terrible, awesome, scary, wonderful giants in the sky!
Certainly there are some outstanding lessons not only from Into the Woods, but also from going into the woods. 

I geocache. It's a thing, okay? I search for containers hidden in the woods, and I do this as a way to cope with stresses and pressures of life. (Click this link for more on how geocaching saved my life.) This weekend, I went to find a new geocache, somewhere deep in the woods, in an area I was not familiar with. Thank goodness for GPS, because I was traipsing around the forest looking for a tiny container. When it was time to go, I couldn't find my way out of the woods. I knew the general direction, but the GPS kept bouncing around. And even though I could physically see where I was in the woods, I just couldn't figure out how to get back. I could feel my anxiety rising, and so I decided to take a moment to breathe, to pray, and to just enjoy my time in the woods. I meditated and practiced mindfulness and did some pondering. I literally thought, "The woods are just trees. The trees are just wood." 

I was stuck in the woods, but I had my wits about me. After some wandering, I saw the trail, but there was about 40 feet of really thick underbrush and foliage blocking my way. So instead, I just kept following the path of the trail, but on the wrong side of the underbrush. Right as I could feel myself getting frustrated and a bit hopeless, I said a prayer. I thought, "What am I doing here, I'm in the wrong story!" But I kept moving, and about 40 feet ahead I found an exit. It wasn't the entrance I used to get into the woods, but that didn't matter. I also ran into a branch, got some cuts and scrapes, and was itchy from the bug bites, but none of that mattered. What mattered was that I was back on the trail and on my way home.

Some things I learned from my time going into the woods:

  • I might get scratched and cut and torn up along the way, but the end result is worth it.
  • Sometimes I need to sit and take a breather so I don’t panic.
  • Just keep going. The goal right now is just beyond my reach, but I can reach it.
  • The way out is not always the way in.
  • I need to pray more.
  • The introspection during that time helped since. I feel like I turned a corner in the woods. I got lost, but I found myself. Okay, that's cheesy, but it's true. I used to identify with Cinderella, that what I want most of all is to know what I want. Listen, life still hits hard. Life can just really really suck. But though life is fearful, though it's deep, though it's dark, and though you may lose the path, you have to keep going. There is a way out, and it's just up ahead. 

    And maybe that's what woods are for: for those moments in the woods.



    Wednesday, October 7, 2020

    5 Best Halloween Movies On Disney+ (That Aren’t Hocus Pocus)

    So while I grew up loving Disney, my Halloween was a little... darker.... so I don't have the same nostalgia goggles my contemporaries have for Hocus Pocus or Halloweentown, so excuse me if they didn't make the list. These however are five Halloween(ish?) movies that I know and love that you can find on my favorite streaming service, Disney+.  

    Nightmare Before Christmas 

    Can't go wrong with a Tim Burton classic. A deconstruction of my favorite holiday Halloween and my least favorite holiday Christmas makes for a beautiful blend of the best both have to offer. The animation stands strong to this day, the iconic look has become a staple of Halloween decorating. Add the iconic songs that you can sing all year round and you have a yearly must-see. 

    And if you tell me it's a Christmas movie I'll send a man-eating jack-in-the-box to your house. 



    Treehouse of Horror

    Disney bought the Simpsons, which means all of the Halloween specials are in one place and can be watched at any time. These are a delight to watch, even the arguably worse later seasons did justice to the Treehouse of Horror. Early episodes include a reading of The Raven by Poe and a parody of Nightmare on Elm Street. Later installments feature a tribute to Orson Well's War of the Worlds and a zombie story where the only way to stop the walking dead is drinking Bart's bath water. Laugh, maybe scream, but definitely laugh while you watch it. 



    Maleficent

    During October, Disneyland is taken over by the villains, so it's only fitting that a movie starring the Dame of All Evil ends up on this list. Maleficent is the Sleeping Beauty story told from the side of the villain, and it is a beautiful character story on an infamous bad guy and a fun revelry in all things dark and evil. Maleficent is a great movie all year round, but pay tribute to your inner villain and check it out in October. 



    Ichabod and Mr. Toad

    A headless ghost and two friends who end up in hell? How much more Halloween can you get without carving a pumpkin while watching it? This is a scary cartoon that still holds up against the best modern Disney movies. I still get chills when Ichabod looks down the empty neck hole and hears a laugh emanating from within. Show it to your kids and watch them jump. 



    Fantasia (The Last Segment) 

    Okay don't watch the while thing unless you want to. It's a good movie but what I'm focusing on is the last segment, A Night on Bald Mountain. This is the one with the big scary demon (Known to Disney fans as Chernabog) coming out of a mountain and sending out his scary demons and ghosts into the world. The scene is short but is incredibly memorable, with the unique monsters dancing and reveling in the night. It does wrap up with a beautiful rendition of Ave Maria, leaving off with the message that despite how scary the dark can be the light will always come through. 




     


    Monday, October 5, 2020

    Our Final Digivolution: Adulting

    “Is it true we have to say goodbye when you grow up?” - Agumon

    The year was 2010. I had just returned to college life after being a missionary. As a young adult I had this idea in my head that I had to let go of fandoms that I had enjoyed growing up. So my Yu-Gi-Oh cards sat in my parents' basement and my Nintendo DS and my Pokémon games disappeared to who knows where. I started getting into other franchises, but it was time to move away from my childhood favorites.

    Coincidentally that year was also the setting of the new Digimon movie that was finally released on digital last week (on DVD and Blu-Ray this week). Spoilers ahead of course. Here we go.

    In Last Evolution Kizuna, during another Digimon attack, Tai and the other Digi-Destined discover that their time with their Digimon partners is limited and quickly running out. Menoa, a Digimon researcher, tells them that it’s because they’re not kids anymore; children are full of potential and that’s where Digimon partners get their power. As the kids grew up, they lost that unlimited potential.

    Throughout the movie you can see evidence of this, as more adult situations are used, like when Matt and Tai go out for a beer. We also hear it in their words, as Sora distances herself from being a Digi-Destined, as Tai focuses on finishing his thesis, and as Matt thinks about grad school. There’s even an unnamed Digi-Destined who complains about how hard adulthood is.

    I spent years thinking I had to give up Digimon or Pokémon to be considered an adult. But what if that’s just the problem the Digi-Destined had. There’s this idea not unique to me that to be an adult we have to think a certain way or like certain things to be truly grown up. But it robs us of our potential.


    Like the movie said, children have limitless potential. They’re creative, imaginative, loving, forgiving, selfless (for the most part), and so many other things. But why does that have to be unique to children? I believe we can get that childlike nature back. 

    As I’ve spent the last nine months getting to know my daughter, I want to be more like her. She’s curious about everything. She loves to play, laugh, and explore. Her little nine-month-old brain finds joy and excitement in every little thing. Talk about potential! Imagine if I could apply those traits to my personal and professional lives!

    The journey may have ended for Tai and Matt at the end of the movie, but the Digimon Adventure 02 epilogue is still canon. That means that the story isn’t over. Somewhere in the future we could still get a story about the Digimon partners coming back.


    It’s all about potential. We saw a bit of that as Agumon and Gabumon rose to their new forms in the final battle. If Tai and Matt can muster the energy to create that digivolution, I fully believe they will bring their partners back (even if it's off-screen). And if they can bring their partners back, you can find that childlike potential again today. It’s not unique to children… we’ve just forgotten as adults. We're adulting now, but that doesn't mean we need to give up that childlike joy and wonder. If anything, we have more potential now as adults if we can use our maturity and growth in combination with the joy and wonder we had as children.

    I highly recommend this movie for any Digimon fans past or present. With any luck, this movie will get enough success that we can get that sequel that I'm craving.

    Friday, October 2, 2020

    How Geocaching Saved My Life

    Geocaching saved my life. If you don't know, geocaching is an outdoor pastime, where players use GPS to look for containers (called "geocaches" or "caches") which have been hidden at specific locations all over the world. In other words, I use multi-million dollar satellites to find tupperware in the woods.


    This past year, I’ve gone through quite a bit of life changes and trauma. A faith crisis, a divorce, a son in the hospital for an extended amount of time, witnessing my best friend’s suicide, a son diagnosed with brain damage, losing my job, attempting to take my own life. And then coronavirus hit. I definitely needed a distraction and hobby that would get me out of the house, that would give me something to do. I’ve always known about geocaching from my Boy Scout days, but I’ve never done it. Then my dear friend told me about his geocaching experiences, and he helped me get started. Since then I have been hooked. I have found at least one geocache every day. I have taken trips to 18 states just this summer, and found geocaches in all of them. I have hidden my own series of geocaches, complete with field puzzles and mystery coordinates. And next month I’m starting a geocaching club at the school where I work.


    I don’t think that geocaching, itself, saved my life. It’s a great hobby, for sure. But any hobby can breathe new life into your existence if you let it. For me, geocaching has helped me bond with my children in a unique way. I’ve gone to places and seen the most beautiful views. I’ve found trails in my own hometown that I didn’t even know existed. I’ve met some truly wonderful people and done some great networking. I’ve found some interesting swag and challenged my mind with difficult puzzles. But most importantly, I’ve kept myself occupied and gotten out of the house. In those quiet moments when I’m walking a three mile hike to find a little red pill bottle, I’ve done a lot of soul searching and discovered a lot about who I am. I have been able to process things that are happening in my life. Geocaching is a great hobby for me -- but the really invaluable aspects are the alone time, the fact that I'm doing something for myself, and that I'm coming into my own. That’s where the real therapy lies. I guess in finding little hidden containers around the world, I was really finding myself.

    Who knew that bison tubes hanging in trees would be the best thing for my mental health?



    Wednesday, September 30, 2020

    5 Disney Movies that Deserve a Remake

     Here's my issue with the latest run of Disney live-action remakes: Why? At one point I'll make a scale of the remakes from best to worst, but suffice it to say I don't get why these particular movies got a remake. Beauty and the Beast: Perfect the first time. Lion King: Perfect the first time. Sleeping Beauty... Okay Malifecent just rocked so I'm fine with that, but there's a few Disney movies that could use a second try, not necessarily live action but another attempt to help some amazing ideas reach their full potential. 

    5: Hunchback of Notre Dame

    Fun fact 1: Victor Hugo wanted his original novel to be a big hit musical like Les Miserables, but it didn't take off that way. 

    Fun fact 2: Disney made a stage musical of this film that was spectacular but sadly did not catch the public's interest like Disney's other Broadway babies. 

    Fun fact 3: This is one of my favorite Disney movies, I even have a Disneyland artist drawing of Quasimodo and Funko Pops of Quasimodo and Esmeralda. 

    Fun fact 4: While the book didn't turn into a huge play it did help to get Notre Dame cathedral renovated instead of the original plan to tear it down and started a revolution of saving and restoring old buildings instead of demolishing them. 

    Fun fact 5: This needs to be remade so bad it hurts. 



    4: Meet the Robinsons

    Nobody knows about this 2007 film, and frankly seeing the slightly janky animation I don't blame them. The film has all the great Disney tropes, including a great villain, the definition of family, and an orphan gets a happy ending. This film had some parts that made my mother and I cry, something which is hard to do with our jaded Sinicism. Check this out on Disney+ and please please PLEASE pressure Disney into taking another swipe at it. 



    3: Brave

    A lot of people like Merida from Brave, but ask anyone what Brave was actually about and you'll get a few blank stares. The issue is that the script was rewritten after half the animation was done, so the movie has some issues. They had to do something similar to Frozen, but the rewrites came much earlier in the process so the film was far more coherent. A better script and Merida could get the film she deserves. 



    2: Treasure Planet

    Scriptwise I wouldn't touch much (Except the annoying robot in the third act, kill him). The live action budget for this one would be out of control, so even an animated remake would be understandable and acceptable. This was another that had a long production history but didn't get it's just due. If the heart could be preserved and the fun world even slightly replicated I would be right there to see it. 



    1: Sword in the Stone

    Watching this thing as an adult is a sad disappointment. The film is a weird psuedo-magical science lesson based in King Arthur's time. It's just Merlin turning Wart into animals and talking about how they live. I'd want to see something with more story, more characterizations, and just... More... movie. 

    Also picture Tim Burton directing this thing and casting Johnny Depp as Merlin. 



    -JOE

    Monday, September 28, 2020

    Sorting Disney Princesses into Hogwarts Houses (1/3)

    If you’ve been following my posts for any stretch of time, you’ll know that I love many things. In particular today, we’re going to indulge my love of Disney, Harry Potter, and mash-ups. Previously I’ve done Hogwarts sorting posts about Arrow, Friends, Once Upon a Time, and the Avengers. Today is the first in a three-part post about the Disney Princesses (including three honorary princesses). So let’s jump in and see our first six Disney Princess Hogwarts students.

    Snow White - Hufflepuff

    Our first princess is the original Disney Princess. Hufflepuff is the obvious choice, but it’s not for any lack of bravery or wit. Just like when I sorted the Once Upon a Time version of Snow into Hufflepuff, the 1930s Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs portrayed a princess with patience and kindness. In addition, she also displayed the trademark Hufflepuff trait as a hard-working individual. Heck. Even before she met the dwarfs, she was cleaning their house. Side note: Next time you're at Disney World, make sure you meet this pleasant Hufflepuff in Epcot Germany.

    Cinderella - Ravenclaw

    Before re-watching the animated movie Cinderella in preparation for this post, I’d have put her in Hufflepuff because she’s one of the stereotypically less “heroic” princesses (that’s a discussion for later). In fact, I would have sorted Tim Burton’s Cinderella into Hufflepuff. However, the animated film showed a version of Cinderella overflowing with ingenuity and creativity. She thought her way through the problem of getting to Prince Charming’s ball. That was impressive. And remember to find this Ravenclaw in Magic Kingdom during your next Disney trip.

    Belle - Gryffindor

    Unlike Belle from Once Upon a Time, I felt like Gryffindor was a better fit for the animated Belle. Both loved their books and reading. However, the 1991 Belle cared more about her books because it got her out of her “poor provincial town”, even just for a moment in her mind. She cared more about the adventures in her books than the books themselves. Like Snow White, Belle can be found at Epcot, but in France.

    Moana - Gryffindor

    Mixed in with the first princesses, I have one of the newest princesses sorted into Gryffindor. She had a restless, adventurous spirit. Unable to sit still, she tested her father’s patience. Her courage, nerve, and daring got the best of her and sent her into the ocean unprepared, all to save her people and have an adventure. So it shouldn’t surprise anyone that she’s donning red as a Gryffindor.

    Tiana - Hufflepuff

    She’s not the stereotypical Hufflepuff, but it’s where she fits. As I watched Princess and the Frog recently, I waited to be proved wrong about her house. However, her whole character speaks to the hard-working, fairness, and dedication that Hufflepuffs are known for. So despite Naveen being more like a Slytherin or Gryffindor, his princess is definitely a Puff. She can be found at Disney World in Fantasyland (Magic Kingdom)

    Kuzco - Slytherin

    My honorary princess for this post is none other than Emperor Kuzco. I sorted Mesoamerica’s favorite diva into Slytherin for obvious reasons. He may have reformed by the end of the movie to be less of a jerk, but that doesn’t change his ambitious and cunning nature. He’s a born leader, even if he abused that power at first. And he’s definitely no stranger to self-preservation. So despite being a Hufflepuff myself, my favorite Disney protagonist definitely goes in Slytherin.

    Still eleven princesses to go in the coming months. Where would you place our remaining Disney heroines? “Dig a little deeper” and let me know in the comments. 

    Friday, September 25, 2020

    The Monster Has To Die In The End

    The monster is chased into the windmill by the scared villagers, its immense strength and terrifying visage defeated entirely by the fear it has for the villager's simple torches. As the doors close the windmill is set on fire, quickly becoming a towering inferno of the monster's worst fear. Inside the monster screams in pain, as the soft music plays and the ending card flashes over the screen. Frankenstein's monster has succombed to the fate of all movie monsters at the time, the Hays code stating that by the end of the film, all monsters have to die. 

    So then why does it hurt when the 1931 Frankenstein monster dies? 



    Gentle Giant

    1931's Frankenstein tells the story of the titular scientist and his monster, who has been named Frankenstein in popular culture but is only referred to as the creature in the film. We all know the story, the mad scientist brings the creature, an amalgum of corpses sewn together to resemble a man, to life with the use of lightning and a strategically placed sheet, the creature escapes, everyone freaks out, and then windmill scene. 

    The thing is, this didn't need to happen. 

    Let's take a look at the creature from the eyes of the outsider. Here's a creature who is in a sense born different than everyone else (We'll count the lightning sheet stuff as birth), and instead of being welcomed into the world with excitement he's welcomed in with fear. His own father, Dr. Frankenstein, doesn't even really see him as a person, exclaiming "It's alive!" when the process is complete. To him, the creature is not a person, it's a thing, a science experiment. 



    Now the creature is shown early on to be instinctively afraid of fire, which makes sense since fire burns. When it's presented with fire it flips out and escapes the lab to wander the countryside searching for... Well anything. The creature at this point doesn't know anything, except fire bad. He comes across a little girl who is throwing flowers into a stream, which, not knowing to be afraid, she teaches him to do the same. In a controversial scene that was originally cut from the film, the creature ends up throwing the girl into the stream accidentally drowning her, which enrages the village and leads to windmill BBQ. 

    So with all that, if we didn't know the whole corpse and looking iconic scary thing, what we have is a person with lower motor functions and a struggling IQ being punished for never learning how to properly interact with the world around him. In some ways this is an identifiable situation, especially when one is an outsider to a situation and is expected to either already know or figure out how to navigate the situation without any prior help. 

    High school, anyone? 

    Heck, adulthood, anyone? 

    The Real Tragedy

    So then the real tragedy comes at the end, when the monster is punished by being burned alive in the windmill. Why did this have to happen though? Well like I said, we can thank the Hayes code for that. 

    Little historical background: Back before the rating system films used to have a series of rules they had to follow or they wouldn't be shown in mainstream movie theaters. This included stuff like not showing sexual acts or nudity, not making fun of clergy, not showing blood and guts, and as stated above, all monsters have to die by the end of the movie. 

    And thus the creature's fate was sealed, despite it surviving in the novel. Oh, yeah, you know there was a novel, right? In it the creature learns how to control his body, learns to talk, read and write, and even figures out what he is. He's still rejected by Dr. Frankenstein, who faints every time he sees his face, but he learns. The creature in the novel ends up striking up a deal with daddy dearest: He'll leave him and the rest of humanity alone if the doctor makes one more creature: a female, so that he doesn't have to live in solitude. The doctor agrees but chickens out at the last second, even tearing up the lady monster corpse in front of the creature. This causes the creature to get vengeance by killing the doctor's new bride and the two proceed to chase each other, vowing death on the other until the doctor dies up in the north pole. 



    In other words, the creature was not supposed to die. 

    For those of us who identify with Frankenstein's monster and his difficulties in life, it's a sharp turn when the creature has to die by his own worst fear. It means that those who are different will never be accepted by mainstream society and that our mistakes will always be remembered no matter how much we try to repair them or didn't even know they were made. 

    The monster has to die in the end. 

    But does it though? If you're familiar at all with the Universal Monsters films, you know that Frankenstein's monster showed up at least half a dozen times during his career. While the code clearly stated that the monster had to die in the end, it never said that it had to STAY dead or REALLY be dead. In the sequel, Bride of Frankenstein, it turns out the creature didn't die in the windmill, but fell into a convenient underground cave and escaped. In others the creature is hit with lightning or was just always hiding since his last death, meaning that no matter how hard the society at the time tries to kill the monster, tries to show hatred towards the monster, he always finds his way back. He cannot be killed as long as they're are those who still love him. 



    To conclude this diatribe on Frankenstein's monster, I want to point out one last thing: Through the film we never see the monster ever actually hurt anyone intentionally. The drowning of the poor girl was him thinking that it was part of the game, and others who he interacts with usually run away screaming. At worst he damages property but his intention is never to hurt anyone else, even when he's being driven away with torches. This is what makes the monster the true hero, because despite all the pain and sorrow he's suffered he never turns it outward on anyone else, even if they arguably deserve it. The real monster, as always, is the unaccepting society that created him. 

    -JOE

    Monday, September 21, 2020

    Michael Scott's Cringiest Moments


    With The Office leaving Netflix at the end of the year, I figured it was time for me to finally watch the show. I’d never seen the show start to finish before; a large reason for that is how much Michael Scott makes me cringe. But I’ve recently reached the end of Michael’s tenure. So in honor of Michael Scott, here are some of his cringiest moments. Obviously this is not a comprehensive list of his worst moments and it's in no specific order.


    Breaking up with Pam’s mom
    Is there anything worse than breaking up with a girl on her birthday? How about when it’s because of her age (which you should have already known)? How about when her daughter had been begging you to not date her in the first place? There are so many reasons I struggled with Michael in that scene and I was just so frustrated with him.


    Kissing Oscar
    It all started because of an inappropriate joke (per the usual with Michael) but then things got out of control with Michael trying to get people to accept Oscar’s sexuality. Would it have been so hard for Michael to just apologize to Oscar like a normal person? Instead he got involved in a sexual harassment case for kissing Oscar without his consent.


    The Company Picnic Skit
    To be fair, half the blame for this goes to Holly. All the same, why did they think it’d be appropriate to make a joke out of a branch closing down? Even if the Buffalo branch knew they were being closed down, why would you make a joke about it?


    Phyllis’s Wedding
    I’m not sure which part of Phyllis’s wedding was the worst. Was it when Michael insisted on being in the wedding party? Was it when he pronounced them man and wife? Or was it when he gave his speech? They’re all awful and it was such a hard episode to watch for that reason.


    Pizza Boy Hostage
    Oh my gosh. Why was this even a thing? As irrational as Michael is, why did it make sense to him to refuse to let the pizza boy leave? Sure he wanted the discount, but it was literally kidnapping. I know Michael is dense, but I didn’t think it was possible for him to be that dense.


    Spanking His Nephew
    There were a lot of reasons why this episode was cringey, because of how Michael tried to defend his nepotism to the office. Again, how did Michael get so ignorant (even worse than usual) to think there was nothing wrong with nepotism? And then to start spanking his estranged nephew in front of everyone? I can’t take it.

    As much as Michael has made me cringe over the past seven seasons, I’m going to miss him when he’s gone. I’m not sure it’ll even feel like The Office anymore for those last couple seasons (though I am looking forward to seeing Catherine Tate, as she is one of my favorite celebrities ever).


    Friday, September 18, 2020

    Hogwarts Legacy - Maneuver Through The Hype

    Okay watch this trailer then we will discuss. 


    Finished? Are you pumped for this game? 

    Calm down. 

    While the graphics look admittedly amazing, I have to point out the one thing missing from this trailer before the hype overruns everyone like the annoying internet troll that I am: 

    There is no gameplay. 

    We don’t even get a hint as to what kind of game it is. Presumably it’s some sort of open world affair akin to Bully, but for all we know it could be a Cooking Mama clone with a Bejeweled style minigame and microtransactions to unlock eye color. My point is that all this trailer really gives us is that it’s Harry Potter and it presumably takes place long before the books, so it doesn’t have to deal with a lot of cannon stuff, a la Knights of the Old Republic, but that it. 

    What I Want To See

    Okay so maybe I just want them to rerelease Bully, because honestly that game was a perfect school-based sandbox, so I basically want Bully but with magic, but let’s get technical. 

    *Open World



    Open world Harry Potter games have been tried before with mixed results, the best probably being the Lego Harry Potter games, but if we’re going to go open world with this thing then I want open world. I want a layout of Hogwarts castle with secrets, collectables, and fun easter eggs as far as the eye can see. I want Hogwarts to feel like a place not just a box painted to look like Hogwarts. 

    *Limited Combat

    The trailer shows the Harry Potter brand zombies and a bunch of Hagrid’s favorite pets, but honestly if most of the game is fighting I’m out. One thing about the Harry Potter series is that while combat is important it’s not the focus of magic. Being able to figure your way through a combat with a variety of spells, like levitating an enemy onto a nearby chandelier, turning them into a ferret, or animating a nearby suit of armor to fight for you would be far better than the standard shoot spells until the bad guy falls down. 



    *Character Customization

    There’s arguments for and against custom characters in video games. Established characters like Nathan Drake and Aloy let the player experience that character’s story, making a potentially rich story driven narrative as we see a character change and grow throughout the game. However, as I’ve argued many times before, I don’t read Harry Potter because I’m interested in what happens to Harry Potter. The world Rowling created is to me a far more interesting character than most of her mains (Except of course Snape who is straight up Shakesperian). I then would want to play a custom hero, a self-insert to see how I’d personally do in the hallowed halls of Hogwarts, what decisions I’d make and how I’d create my own story. As my contemporary Spencer indicates in his 5 Additional Harry Potter Story Ideas, this world has so much potential to be explored, so many untold stories, that it would be fun to tell one of our own. 


    Please do it right.

    -JOE

    Monday, September 14, 2020

    5 Additional Harry Potter Story Ideas

    During the height of lockdown, I started listening to a podcast called “Tales from Godric’s Hollow”. It’s basically a virtual book club for Harry Potter. It’s got the series on my mind again (not that it’s ever too far away). With the third installment of Fantastic Beasts creeping up (wayyyyy too slowly… ugh), I’ve got thinking about other potential stories from the Potterverse that could be developed after Fantastic Beasts ends in a few years.

    Harry Potter wouldn’t be the first franchise with an ever expanding universe. Star Wars has been doing it with its cartoons and The Mandalorian and the MCU has done it with TV shows, movies, comics, and shorts. It wouldn’t be a far-fetched idea for JK Rowling to continue expanding this magical universe. So following in the pattern of Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, I’m going to choose titles from the Hogwarts library as the basis for these potential spin-offs.


    Hogwarts: A History
    The school of witchcraft and wizardry has a rich history and there are plenty of stories to tell. From the founding of Hogwarts, to Slytherin’s departure, or even the Blood Baron and the Gray Lady’s story, there are lots of stories to tell. We could easily get a movie or even a trilogy telling the stories of the early days of Hogwarts. How did Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw, and Slytherin find each other? What was the story of their falling out? There’s a lot that could be expanded on.


    Quidditch Through the Ages
    There are a lot of options for this one. We could have a magical movie about the origins of Quidditch. Or we could have some sort of feelgood sports movie (but with Quidditch). I’m sure there are some adventures around the Quidditch World Cup that we could show. Maybe something about Ginny’s time playing professionally? Again, there are a lot of options of where this movie could take us.


    The Life and Lies of Albus Dumbledore
    We’re bound to get more of Dumbledore’s backstory with the remaining three Fantastic Beasts movies, so this one might be a moot point. However, I'm sure there’s a lot more of the Dumbledore family’s story that we could develop. We could see Dumbledore Sr’s imprisonment, we could see Dumbledore and Grindewald’s teenage years (if we don’t see it in Fantastic Beasts), or we could see the in-between years after Grindewald’s defeat and Harry Potter’s birth.


    The Rise and Fall of the Dark Arts
    There are any number of dark wizards we could choose from to do this story: Grindewald, Voldemort, or some wizard from centuries ago. The rise and fall of Voldemort’s empire during the First Wizarding War would be my ideal. We got bits and pieces throughout the Harry Potter books, particularly Half-Blood Prince, but the tension leading up to Voldemort’s defeat could be exciting. It would also give us a chance to see the original Order of the Phoenix, before the murder of the Potters.


    Advanced-Potion Making
    The story of Severus Snape. Even though I have a distaste for his obsession with Lily Evans, as I’ve stated before, seeing more of his story could be interesting. What was it like for him growing up with a witch mother and a muggle father? Could we get more in depth on his friendship with Lily Evans as kids? Most importantly, I’d love to see more of his time at Hogwarts and how things played out with the Marauders. We saw bits and pieces in The Order of the Phoenix and The Deathly Hallows, but that’s one small snippet that made James look bad. What was life really like for Snape?


    The Tales of Beedle the Bard
    It might be a book of unrelated short stories, but what if it wasn't? We know there was historical, factual basis for the story of the Deathly Hallows. What if Beedle the Bard's other tales have a basis in history too? Even better, what if they're intertwined? We could get a live action sequence of the Deathly Hallows story. Plus, we could get "Babbitty Rabbitty" and the others stories shown as well.

    What Harry Potter stories do you want to see in the future? If you had your choice, which era would you want JK Rowling to expand on next? Also (I've said this before) can we please see Newt and Hagrid interact in a future Fantastic Beasts movie?