Friday, May 17, 2019

Sorting Friends into Hogwarts Houses


A few days ago I saw a meme posted celebrating Monica and Chandler's anniversary. Despite what fans want, we may never get a reunion movie/mini-series (and fans would certainly never be satisfied). So to help with the grieving process that another year has gone by without a "Friends" reunion, here are my thoughts on where the six main Friends would be sorted at Hogwarts.


Chandler Bing - Gryffindor
At a first glance, I thought Chandler was a Hufflepuff. However, when I stop to think about it, Chandler reminds me a lot of Neville. Chandler dealt with a lot growing up. His parents got divorced when he was young and his mother was never the role model he wanted. However, despite his faults and his struggles, he pushed forward. Even when it came to romantic relationships where he was scared to commit, he pushed forward, eventually marrying Monica and even being brave enough to adopt two children (even though it scared him senseless at one point or another). Because of that courage, he's a Gryffindor to me.


Monica Geller - Gryffindor
Like her husband, Monica went through a lot and it took a lot of bravery to make the changes she did in her life. She made a goal to lose significant weight (albeit not for good reasons) and she did it. She gave up happy relationships because they weren't going to make her happy long-term. And when all hope seemed lost about being a mother (the one thing she wanted most), she perservered and ended up coming home with two children instead of one. Her ferocity and her tenacity are the reasons I place her in Gryffindor.


Ross Geller - Ravenclaw
He's the stereotypical Ravenclaw, so I don't think there's much discussion on this. He's intellectual. He likes to debate. Research, knowledge, and education are always at the forefront of his mind (except maybe being on a break). Other than his on and off obsession with Rachel (and who she's dating at a given time), lectures, learning, and intellect were his top priorities. Even down to being a grammar nazi.


Rachel Green - Slytherin
She ran off from her first wedding to make a name for herself. She spent the next ten years following her professional passions. It was slow going for her, but she never gave up. Her ambition eventually led her across the ocean to work in France (until she got off the plane). We never found out what happened to her after she chose Ross over her career, but because of her passion and ambition, you can bet she got a new job in fashion and worked her way back up again. Because of that unyielding ambition, I'm putting her in Slytherin.


Joey Tribbiani - Hufflepuff
Loyalty, kindness, and true are three adjectives used to describe Hufflepuffs. Whether we're talking about Joey's instinct to talk to Ross before he crosses any (further) lines with Rachel or how he was willing to forgive Chandler after Kathy cheated with him. He's a bit of an oddball in other regards, but his friends always came first at his core. Even when it came down to dancing with Treager to help out Monica and Rachel, he went above and beyond for all of them. That's why I'm proud to have Joey in Hufflepuff with me.


Phoebe Buffay - Ravenclaw
Like Chandler, at a passing glance Phoebe would appear to be a Hufflepuff. However, she's too much like Luna Lovegood for me to pass this up. I dug a little deeper into what it means to be a Ravenclaw and I was reminded that Ravenclaw (in addition to intelligence and wit) is also known for creativity, originality, and individuality. Luna and Phoebe both exhibit those qualities in everything they do. I mean, how creative do you have to be to write "Smelly Cat"? Genius! Also between the Nargals and the guitar playing, I don't think we have a more original duo. So naturally Phoebe belongs in Ravenclaw.

Where would you sort each of the main Friends? Any other "Friends" characters you feel strongly about sorting? Mike "Crap Bag" Hannigan? The mustached Richard? Monica's mom?


Check out our other Hogwarts sortings: Power Rangers (2017)Once Upon a TimeAvengers, Arrow

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