Friday, March 30, 2012

Beauty in the Dungeon

From guest author, Ashley Larsen
beauty in the dungeon

Ladies. You know what it's like.

Saturday rolls around. Oh yeah, it's on. Dungeons and Dragons. In a few hours, you'll step into a world blatantly ripped off of Middle Earth from Lord of the Rings and transform into a Tiefling paladin ready to fight evil and look totally hot while doing it. 

Unfortunately, in the real world, you don't have a boyfriend, you don't have a 25 Charisma (even if your character does) and you're not the least bit attracted to anyone in your D&D group OR they're already dating people OR you're related to them… Yeah. 

 Or your one of the few ladies who's dating the DM. If you don't get in-game points for that, refuse to kiss him again until you get a +6 Tower Shield and a white dress that magically never gets dirty and bumps up your Diplomacy skill +3. 

(TANGENT: Anyone ever seen the show Legend of the Seeker? Kahlan wears a white dress through all of season 1 and it stays remarkably clean. I can't even go through a spaghetti dinner without dropping something on a white t-shirt, so I KNOW that's got to be a magical dress.

No reason to dress up then? Maybe you're tempted to show up smelling, and looking, as bad as the guys (joke, dudes. Y'all don't look that bad. Please don't send me hate e-mail because you think your cargo pants and 'It's A Trap Shirt' from is hot stuff). I know I've done that before, shown up looking like Charlize Theron from Monster instead of well Charlize Theron. And if you LIKE looking like Charlize Theron from Monster, well then, that's your prerogative and you should pull off that look the best you can!

But I'm not like that. All the time. Occasionally, I like to run around with no make-up, a lumberjack t-shirt, and yesterday's jeans. More often, I like to look, feel, and breathe pretty. That's a natural feeling, ladies, and one you don't have to be ashamed of. Nothing wrong with spritzing up with a little lip gloss and pink high heels. Best thing is, you can spruce up an outfit with those little accessories. Still want to wear the skinny jeans from two days ago and the dinosaur t-shirt from Hot Topic? Go ahead! Wear them proudly. I love to pair my pink heels with jeans. The fact that I can't walk in them still is another story. Yes, it's stupid, but the pink heels are for aesthetic appeal, not walking, and you sit on your butt for 6 hours with D&D anyway. In my opinion, best time to wear the killer high heels is when there is no walking necessary. 

Do we want to live like the stereotypical nerd girl? Frizzy hair, bad teeth, hideously bushy eyebrows, and zero social skills? NO! We're more than that! WE are smart, beautiful women with the imagination to power BioWare AND Disney! We're fun, geeky, and unique! WE have personality, depth and soul! Then why dress like a Medusa, and instead reflect the inner beauty with the outward hottie? I vote for lipstick, perfume, pink high heels and sexy hipster glasses along with broadswords, a polyhedral turquoise 7-dice set, and standard Player's Handbook.

To make an already long story short, what I am saying is this: We can be Penny and Sheldon at the same time! Ever see the Big Bang Theory? Four nerds become friends with a fashionable waitress named Penny. That's the short of it. Beauty and the Geeks type tale. Let's take a leaf from Penny's book. We can look like Penny, but geek out like Leonard. Lipstick? Penny. A d20? Howard. A Chi straightener(LOVE IT)? Penny. A tendency to make-believe while eating mass amounts of Reduced Fat Sour Cream and Onion Pringles and slurping down can after can of Diet Coke over a five hour game? Sheldon, Leonard, Howard, Raj.

A Wonder Woman costume? Penny and… Sheldon? Er… O.o….

Ladies and gentleman (instead of Penny for you, think Don Draper of Mad Men or Jeff from Community), let's have our cake and eat it too. In style!

Step aside,  prom queen bimbos of the world! The nerd girls are here. And yes, we play Dungeons and Dragons, in your high heels.

Ashley Larsen


  1. I love this. Absolutely love it. :)

  2. Having dungeon mastered with many girls in my time, I can honestly say that each one adds something different to the game. The girly-girl angel princess I had once was just as valuable and awesome as the tough-as-nails half-Elf rogue, or the Tiefling Paladin. :)

  3. Oh the days of being an awesome DM & having multiple women dress well attempting to impress me. Good times, thanks for the reminder guys :D

    1. That is soooo not what the post was about, but glad you're happy anyway.

  4. Only problem--if you're the girl dating the DM and you break up (and it's an all-male group), there goes your geeky social night fun. :( Just happened to me last month.

  5. That doesn't sound fun at all! :(