Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Writer's Block: The Fear of Being Stuck

Today's post is going to be more personal in nature.  If you're not interested, you can still enjoy the funny pictures of cats!

Today, for whatever reason, I'm experiencing some bad writer's block.  For some reason, it's reminding me of a fear that I have: the fear of being stuck.

When I was a child (somewhere between six and eight years old) I was playing near some tables that my parents had.  At one point, I somehow got my hand stuck in between some slats that made up the bottom part of the table.  For what felt like an eternity, I was unable to remove my hand.  I remember that it hurt, and I was crying.  Eventually, I was able to remove my hand (probably with the help of one of my parents). 

Ever since then, I've felt a sense of panic if I'm unable to move part of my body.  Sometimes this can lead to particularly violent reactions to people trying to hold or restrain me.  I will fight to try to escape, even if it is causing me pain.  It can sometimes be a little dangerous when I'm playing with my nieces and nephews.  Luckily, I'm able to somewhat distinguish that I'm not 'stuck' just temporarily being held by them.

I've noticed that this fear of being stuck can extend to other sort of situations.  I notice it most frequently in social situations.  If a person is talking to me, and I don't want to continue talking to them, it can lead to some feelings of fear.  In fact, there are some people I try to avoid because I know that I may become 'stuck' in a conversation that I'm just not interested in.  I've found that it also extends to other situations.  If there is a puzzle or a problem that I don't know how to solve, I have a tendency to avoid it.
How does this relate?  Having writer's block is reminding me that I'm feeling stuck.  I feel quite a bit of pressure to produce interest and relevant content for this blog.  Some weeks, I think I'm just writing a post to have a post and that I'm the only person who finds the post interesting.  I often feel myself stuck between the pressure to produce something, and the thought that no one finds it interesting.

Of course, most of that is probably in my head.

Thank you for enduring this post.  Feel free to share this or other posts from Mormon Geeks.  If you don't, the cat below may come to your home and eat all your food.