5 Reasons Homer Simpson is the Dad We Need

When the words "model TV dads" come by, you usually hear the dad from Leave It To Beaver, Andy Tailor, maybe more recently Danny Tanner from Full House. But if you want an example of a dad who is more realistic, look no further than Homer J. Simpson.

I'm serious.

5: Always Willing to Change

Homer's known for being pig-headed, stupid, and ignorant on most topics, but for Marge and the kids he's always willing to learn about something, even if it's just enough to get by. After taking a test that indicates he may be a bad father, Homer gets closer to Bart as they build and race soapbox derby cars. Homer even goes as far as to ask Ned Flanders for parenting advice just to prove that he is a good dad and does care about his kids.

4: Stands By His Kids

In the episode "Lisa the Iconoclast" he helps Lisa as she tries to unravel a conspiracy around the town's founder, Jebediah Springfield. Even though Jebediah is a hero of Homer's, he's willing to hear his daughter out and help her get to the truth, even at the cost of his job as town crier. Homer could've easily jumped in with the mob against Lisa, a position even Marge takes, but instead he sticks by Lisa to the end, even supporting her decision in the end to not reveal the truth. Homer has also helped Bart fight off bullies, defended Lisa's beauty and has stood up to Marge on the few times when she's shown a lapse in judgment, like when she broke a promise to Lisa to make her a costume.

3: Willing To Teach

There's not much that Homer knows that's really of use to anyone, but the little he does have he's always eager to share with his kids. This includes giving Bart the tip that "When it comes to compliments, women are ravenous blood-sucking monsters always want'n more... more... MORE! And if you give it to them, you'll get plenty back in return.". It may not be accurate but it helped Bart in the moment and Marge and Lisa did appreciate the compliments. Homer's never afraid to bring his kids along on one of his zany adventures, and teach them some handy life lessons along the way.

2: Respects His Wife

Homer has argued with Marge, sometimes done things she doesn't approve of, like buying Lisa a horse or buying a gun, but in the end he always tries to respect Marge's opinion and never puts her down. He's completely devoted to making Marge and the kids happy, even if he has to grumble about it in the car. The pair have taught their kids that a perfect marriage doesn't need to involve perfect people, but it does involve mutual respect and caring. Yes Homer slips up, but he's always the first to apologize and make amends. 

1: He Does It For Her

In the episode "And Maggie Makes Three" Bart and Lisa ask why they're aren't any pictures of Maggie. The subsequent flashback story tells how Homer and Marge, fresh out of debt and at the time only having two children, decide that Homer can chase his dream job of working at the bowling alley. This comes crashing down when Marge announces he's pregnant and Homer has to go back to the nuclear power plant where Mr. Burns puts up a plaque that says "Don't Forget: You're Here Forever". Homer takes pictures of Maggie and arranges them to make the plaque say "Do it for her" so he always remembers why he's working so hard at a place he hates. Homer is shown to sometimes forget Maggie but when he's at work he never forgets what makes it all worthwhile. 

Homer is the dad we didn't want but the one we needed. 

-JOE

Zoey's Extraordinary Journey

Zoey is on a personal journey. It’s easy to forget that as you’re watching Zoey’s Extraordinary Playlist because of the fun musical numbers and awesomely expressive choreography (thanks, Mandy Moore!), the compelling story (go Team Max!), and the phenomenal acting (we will miss you, Peter Gallagher!). But at its core, Zoey’s Extraordinary Playlist is about a woman who is on a journey of self improvement, of stepping out of her comfort zone, and of being vulnerable with others. Thank goodness the show was recently picked up for a second season!

Zoey’s admonition is clear from the first episode: “HELP!” She was given her extraordinary power to help other people. And when she shies away from this responsibility, the universe gently -- and sometimes not so gently -- reminds her how important it is for her to help others. Her days are interrupted constantly by “heart songs”, she glitches until she gets her own head in order, and even car horns remind her that she needs to help people. The universe is a persistent little bugger!

But here’s the thing: Zoey isn’t really just helping others. The person she’s helping the most is herself. Zoey’s journey of personal growth includes opportunities to put herself out there and to gain confidence. She learns to trust herself and to reach out to others for her own help. Zoey learns to create a support circle. Ultimately Zoey learns to take a page out of Brené Brown’s book (well, any of her incredible books) and find strength by being vulnerable.

I’ve watched the entirety of Zoey’s Extraordinary Playlist 4 times now with various friends and offspring, and by myself. Something in it speaks volumes to me. It’s more than the perfectly chosen music (see here for a playlist of our favorite songs), the exquisite production values, or the great humor in the show. It’s Zoey’s personal growth that speaks to me. I’ve been learning to love and accept myself more recently. I’ve been learning to be more vulnerable. I’ve been learning to reach out to friends and build a circle of support. I’m learning to trust myself and others. And despite being surrounded by death and love triangles and work drama, I’m learning to live life to its fullest. (More on that here.) And wholehearted living and authentic growing is the heart of Zoey’s extraordinary journey.

Well, that and some pretty dope cardigans.

Why Avatar the Last Airbender is Still Significant

There’s been some familiar faces popping up on my Facebook feed lately, and no it’s not because my mom found an old photo album and has been talking about the fact that I was Dracula for Halloween about six times. Avatar the Last Airbender has returned to Netflix and it feels like everyone is talking about the old gang like it was 2005 again. The interesting thing though is that when Disney added The Simpsons and Gargoyles to Disney+, the memes and conversations weren’t nearly as prominent, so what is making the world go gaga for Appa?

Spoiler alert:

A Dystopian Future

Follow me on this cause this might get complicated:

One of the reasons fans are re-identifying with The Last Airbender is because, like Aang, we’ve woken up into a world that feels darker and more terrifying than it used to be. We meet Aang and the gang right after his 100 year nap, so to us the world is as it is with the Fire Nation putting a stranglehold on most of the other nations, but Aang doesn’t see it that way. He remembers a world where people from all nations lived in peace, and where he had friends of every nationality. Compare that to our modern world, where only a few months ago live was as it had pretty much been, with words like pandemic restricted mostly to fiction. We’re living in a world changed by forces we have little control over and are forced to cope day to day, and sometimes even hour to hour, just like Aang.

The Classic Adventure

As much as people love to talk about how innovative The Last Airbender is, when you get down to the bare bones it’s the classic good guy vs bad guy narrative. Yes *Spoiler* some bad guys become good, and we show how more complex situations can be as expressed through excellent writing, but the story is that there’s a big bad evil, a time limit, good guy has to stop big bad evil. There’s a comfort in having a clear good guy to root for, someone we can get behind and identify with their struggles. Aang is not a Mary Sue, he has to work for every inch of progress he makes. His friends have struggles, they have moral dilemmas, but in the end we know the good guys win. It’s the kind of narrative that, again at this time, we need right now.

An Escape for Everyone

Right now everyone is looking for what Wade Watts in Ready Player One called “an escape hatch from reality”. Some are escaping into Animal Crossing: New Horizons. Others have found refuge in shows like Tiger King and the latest seasons of Rick and Morty and The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina, but Avatar the Last Airbender is a show the entire family can sit and binge without having to be a gamer or cover young eyes and ears. If it had been out a month ago it would’ve made my list of shows you can binge with your family without hesitation. It is something that we can talk about to get away from the news, thinking about what we’ve lost, and what could be coming around the corner.

This year has been bad, more for some than others, but I believe that Aang can save the world, if only for a half hour at a time.

-JOE

Boy Meets World Cameos in Girl Meets World

It may have ended a few years ago, but Girl Meets World is still my guilty pleasure on Disney Plus. I grew up with Cory and Shawn, so when it was in its early days on Netflix a few years back, my buddy David and I had to watch it. It’s definitely a different tone than Boy Meets World and it’s definitely a Disney Channel show. But in my mind it transcends other Disney Channel shows. The series also gives plenty of cameos to important Boy Meets World characters (so many that I couldn’t include them all).

Harley Keiner - Season 1, Episode 13 (Girl Meets Flaws)
He was Cory’s bully for a couple seasons back in the day, but more recently he’s the janitor at Riley’s middle school during Seasons 1 and 2. He appears in several episodes throughout those seasons, so it was hard to pick my favorite. I liked his character because he’s still the snarky Harley Keiner we remember from Boy Meets World, but he’s no longer a bully. Instead, he stands up for the bullied. Just goes to show that anyone can change and anyone can be redeemed.

Mr Feeny - Season 2, Episode 4 (Girl Meets Pluto)
I couldn’t not include Feeny on this list. The question was which of his episodes to include. He appeared five times through the show’s three seasons, but this one was my favorite. Feeny wasn’t the center of the episode by any means, but he appeared as Cory, Shawn, and Topanga dug up a time capsule in his backyard. So of course Riley and Maya pull out their best Feeny call to greet him. Also, I love their heartwarming conversation with him afterwards.

Eric Matthews - Season 2, Episode 5 (Girl Meets Mr. Squirrels)
For some reason grown-up Eric just makes me happy. Partly, his names for Maya just get more ridiculous as time goes on. But also it just shows how much goodness is in Eric’s heart. I still find it so strange that they slowly turned Eric from a ladies’ man to an idiot in the seven seasons of Boy Meets World. But this episode showed how amazing Eric is, even if he’s barely literate.

Tommy - Season 2, Episode 9 (Girl Meets Mr. Squirrels Goes to Washington)
His story arc in Boy Meets World was relatively short, but this was one of those stories that made me love Eric back in the day. The same Tommy that Eric refused to adopt in college, he returned under the name TJ to help Eric win an election. It was beautiful to see Eric find closure to the decision he made for Tommy. A decision that tore him up when he made it. But Tommy never forgot him.

Mr. Turner - Season 2, Episode 10 (Girl Meets New Teacher)
Another story that deserved closure. After his motorcycle accident, Mr. Turner dropped off the face of Boy Meets World. But turns out he survived and married his nurse. This story was a great twist on the story of Mr. Turner from the original series. He got to stand up for Harper, a new edgy teacher, and make some cracks at the principal along the way.

Shawn Hunter - Season 1, Episode 18 (Girl Meets Master Plan)
He appeared so much that he was more of a recurring character than a cameo; he still deserves a mention. It was hard to pick an episode for him. This one is one of my favorites because it shows how much Shawn had begun to care for Maya. He knew what it was like to have absentee parents and (even though he didn’t become her step-dad/dad until later) he became a father figure for her at that time. It changed who Shawn was and I love that.

I knew I couldn’t possibly hit all the Boy Meets World cameos in Girl Meets World, but who were your favorites? Angela is another that I wanted to add. Also Morgan/Morgan in the finale.

Disney Dungeons and Dragons

A discussion that occurs often in my house is which Dungeons and Dragons class characters from other fictions would be if brought into D&D (Don’t judge me, I bet you have weird discussions too!) So here I present a Disney based Dungeons and Dragons party featuring all the major classes from 5th Edition and why I think each character fits with each class.

Enjoy!

Barbarian-Beast

A creature made of pure rage, the Beast is a perfect fit for the barbarian. When we see him defending Belle from the wolves he goes into what can only be classified as a rage as he drops the entire pack, only to fall in the end just like a barbarian would once their temporary hit points ran out. We also see that Beast isn’t much of a fighter until he goes into said rage when he’s fighting Gaston, who gets in several cheap shots before Beast sees Belle and unleashes his furry fury on the hunter.

Bard-Ariel

I will argue that Ariel is one of the most active princesses we have, especially in the pre-Elsa world. Her defining traits include her incredible singing voice and her curiosity about the world, both of which fit perfectly with the bard’s skill list. When her voice was taken and she had to somehow convince Eric to kiss her she doesn’t miss a beat, using her exceptional charisma stat to charm him into nearly kissing her. Ariel is the bard that can get into and out of any situation.

Cleric-Baymax

My first instinct was to go with Rapunzel since she has the power to heal with magic, but clerics are more than just the healer in the back that keeps the idiot fighter from dying. Clerics can hold their own in battle as well as aid the party with buffs and heals. Baymax can do it all between his vast medical knowledge and high-flying armor, willing to keep his team safe in battle and get them healed in between.

Druid-Pocahantas

In touch with her people and her land, Pocahantas makes the perfect druid. She strives to protect the balance between her people, the settlers and the land by brokering peace through understanding and knowledge. She even casts Comprehend Languages and Speak With Plants at various times throughout the movie, and has a hoard of adorable animal companions that help her in her journey. The only thing she’s missing is Wild Shape, though I vote that turning into pastel paint during “Colors of the Wind” counts.

Fighter-Mulan

There’s an instinct to put Mulan under the monk category because of her Asian heritage and the monk’s classical leaning towards Eastern tradition, but Mulan doesn’t get the specialized training and inner focus a monk gets, she’s trained as a soldier, and is therefore a fighter. Mulan is an excellent fighter though, able to hold her own in both armor and a dress, and uses her brain to take out stronger opponents as well as her martial skills. Mulan is the one who would be on the front line, chopping through enemies without the need for magic or help.

Monk-Rafiki

Rafiki on the other hand, is a person who is not only a martial artist but in touch with his own spirituality to the point of granting him insight into the world itself. He is the spiritual leader of Pride Rock, and can use his own inner wisdom to find the answers to issues that effect his land. Plus just watch him fight off the hyenas and tell me he’s not a martial artist.

Paladin-Hercules

Gifted with strength from his godly parenthood, Hercules has one mission: to rejoin the gods of Mount Olympus. He becomes the noble knight vanquishing evil with his trusty (if obnoxious) steed Pegasus. Riding into every fight with a righteous cause and a quest to complete, he becomes the perfect paladin. On a side note he’s also a great example of how to play a lawful good character without making them obnoxious, but that’s probably a subject for another post another day.

Ranger-Merida

Merida does not get her just due as a princess. She is a fierce red head with a fiery spirit to match. As a ranger she has her trusty bow and knowledge of the wilds on her side, plus an empathy with animals around her, including her own mother at one point. Merida could outshoot any other Disney character (Including Robin Hood-Fight me) and she’s never afraid to enter a battle. You need some ranged on your team? Recruit Merida.

Rogue-Robin Hood

He may not outshoot Merida, but he is an extremely competent archer and an even better rogue. Robin Hood stole gold right out of the royal carriage before King John could notice. He then orchestrated a plan where he stole dozens of bags of gold out of John’s room while he and Hiss were sleeping. Combined with his variety of disguises and agility and he’s the quintessential rogue-just don’t let his partner kiss your hand.

Sorcerer-Elsa

Born with magic, sometimes uncontrollable, usually by conditions before birth, Elsa almost comes straight out of the Player’s Handbook. Elsa has to learn to control her powers as she learns that the more she suppresses them the more trouble they’ll cause her. The diversity of her magic gives her the range to keep your enemies on their toes, making you grateful to have her in the party. Just don’t pet her familiar without asking or you’ll get burned.

Warlock-Genie

Okay here me out because this was the hardest to find in all of Disney. Dr. Facilier, the bad guy from The Frog Princess is probably the perfect fit, but he’s also a villain and we’re building an adventuring party. In Xanathar’s Guide to Everything we get the subclass Hexblade, which binds the Warlock’s power to a weapon from the Shadowfell, so for this one we replace the weapon with Genie’s lamp and voila, a warlock. This of course will probably fly out the window in the next year when genie pacts become a thing but whatever. Either way, are you going to say no to having a being with phenomenal cosmic powers on your team?

Wizard-Merlin

This on the other hand was a no-brainer. Along with magic most of Merlin’s powers comes from his study of science and culture, and his collection of books seals this deal. Merlin is a specialist in transfiguration, turning him and Wart into a variety of animals to teach the future king lessons on life. His ultimate accomplishment is him polymorphing himself into a germ to infect Madam Mim’s dragon form, thus winning him a magic duel. That’s the move that proved that he’s a wizard extraordinaire.

What other Disney characters would you want to class?

-Joe

Before They Were Heroes: Arrowverse

As of the Legends finale last week, the Arrowverse has officially closed down for the year (also a new "Arrowverse" series, Stargirl, started last month, but that's a story for another time). The pandemic meant that some seasons got cut short, but there are worse things--Also we got the news of the surprise departure of Ruby Rose as Batwoman. In honor of the finales, I wanted to spotlight some of the leading actors and actresses and movies they were in before they were superheroes. My wife and I love picking up obscure appearances of our favorite actors appearing in “older” shows (like “Abed Nadir” appearing in Gilmore Girls). So I’m going to start with the main stars from the Arrowverse shows.

Stephen Amell (Oliver Queen/Green Arrow) - Heartland

Before he was the playboy Oliver Queen, Stephen Amell appeared repeatedly on one of my wife’s favorite cheesy Canadian cowboy shows. Since Stephen Amell is Canadian I wasn’t too surprised that he showed up there, but it was kind of funny to see him show up when my wife was watching this show over maternity leave.

Matt Ryan (Constantine) - Criminal Minds

While Constantine was a short-lived series, he keeps popping up in the Arrowverse, first on Arrow and now consistently on Legends of Tomorrow. I never got to his appearance in Criminal Minds when I watched it with my roommates years ago, but I do remember the show and its intrigue. Kind of makes me want to go back and watch the show again (add that one to my watchlist). Side note: he also appeared in an episode of Torchwood, an adult Doctor Who spin-off.

Grant Gustin (Barry Allen/The Flash) and Melissa Benoist (Kara Danvers/Supergirl) - Glee

I’ve only watched a handful of episodes of Glee (it’s been perpetually on my Netlfix queue). They do have good music though. I’ve never seen the episodes with Grant Gustin and Melissa Benoist’s characters, but having seen their Arrowverse musical crossover, I’m not surprised that they were on Glee for a while.

Brandon Routh (Ray Palmer/The Atom) - Gilmore Girls

He was only a throwaway character back in the first season of Gilmore Girls, but he later became multiple superheroes in the Arrowverse. I remember his scene vividly, even though I had to jog my memory on his role, because I thought it was so cringey how these college boys talked up these high school sophomore girls.

Cress Williams (Jefferson Pierce/Black Lightning) - Hart of Dixie

He’s appeared in a couple shows that my wife likes, but he had such a long-standing role on Hart of Dixie (he also appeared Grey’s Anatomy) that I chose this one. If I recall correctly he was the long-standing mayor in the small town. It was such a different role than what I’m used to in Black Lightning that it was cool to see the contrast.

Ruby Rose (Kate Kane/Batwoman) - Pitch Perfect 3

My wife and I were recently watching the Pitch Perfect trilogy. When we got to the third movie, I realized I recognized one of the singers of Evermoist. It was Batwoman! That’s the one that actually inspired this post. I didn’t realize she was a singer before making that connection (although I couldn’t actually confirm whether it’s her singing or not). -- Unrelated: I'm curious how things will go with them recasting her character for next season.

What other Arrowverse stars come to mind for you? I knew I couldn’t include everyone so I tried to hit the highlights.

Coming Out

People will automatically be turned off by the very fact that sexual orientation is the topic of Pixar’s newest SparkShorts entry Out, available on Disney Plus. This short (and by extension, this article) is not for those people. Instead, this short is for those who want to see a story about personal growth, about love and acceptance, about parent-child relationships, about being true to yourself. Disney has a rich history of addressing these topics. Finding Nemo is not a documentary about clownfish; it’s a story about a complex father-son relationship and about what it means to be a nontraditional family. Aladdin is not really about how to use magic to accomplish your goals, and more about being true to yourself -- truly loving yourself. And Out is less about “being gay” and more about overcoming fears and accepting yourself and others as they are.

And yes, there’s a magical rainbow in the end.

This short made me cry. But then again Pixar seems to have a history of doing that to me. I watched Out several times with my kids, and even more by myself. Sure, it’s got some fun moments (house music equals magic!) and who can resist when the dog pees the floor as a way to keep the mom finding out her son is gay! But Out made me cry because I believe everybody can relate to the fear of being rejected. Disappointing a parent. Having a secret found out.

And that’s the beauty of this short: it’s relatability. That’s the beauty of Disney in general, especially Pixar. They present feelings and emotions that everybody can relate to, even if the exact situation might tend towards fantasy. I’ve never been a lost toy, or a love-struck trash robot stuck in a dystopian future, or a widower trying to find adventure in a helium-powered mobile home. But I think we can all relate to the feelings associated with these extreme situations: having an existential crisis, finding love wherever it exists, trying to connect with those we have lost. So it’s true you might not be a gay man who undergoes a body switch with his yippy dog. But I’m sure you can relate to being in love. To being scared of what others might think of you. To wanting to be loved and accepted for who you are.

We are living in some really tough times. A pandemic has changed our world, has affected businesses, and has generated more social change than anything else in recent history. Wildfires, tornadoes, earthquakes, and other natural disasters have gripped our attention. Innocent people are dying, and people are protesting and rioting in the streets. Life is not easy right now. What better time than now for a message about love and acceptance? There are those who will look at Out as nothing more than a political statement. But I look at it as a plea for us to love our children unconditionally. To accept ourselves wholeheartedly. To live boldly and to love boldly. And that's a message our world could use right now as we all navigate our way Out of heartache.

Gardenscapes/Homescapes - Are They Worth Clicking On?

Disclaimer: Once again this is not a sponsored article. This is just the opinions of an internet troll who has nothing better to do with his free time than review free-to-play games on his phone. 

Question: Have you seen this man popping up on your ads? Usually in some sort of peril?

This is Austin. He is the star and mascot of Gardenscapes and Homescapes, heretofore known as the Scapes games for sake of simplicity. The ads usually have Austin swimming away from sharks or in the middle of a home improvement disaster and is asking you to pick the correct tools to help him.

Spoiler alert: That's not what the game is about.

The Core Gameplay

The Scapes games at their core are a hybrid of Bejeweled and The Sims, where you do color matching games which in some way help Austin with whatever home improvement task he has for you, afterwards you get to choose ether the color or style of whatever piece of furniture he was working on. The idea is that as you play you get to build your own customized house, to a point, and say that it was your creation. All good in theory, but theory was once that hippopotamuses were amphibians and that if humans traveled more than 50 miles per hour their heads would explode. Theory is not a sure thing.

While the Sims comparison is relatively accurate, you only get three options per design choice, all of which are just variations on things you'd find in your standard RC Willy. The aspect of true customization is only an elaborate scoreboard and a flimsy context for why you're matching colors.

Where They Get You

As simplistic as everything sounds the color matching games are actually extremely difficult, starting at around a level 60 level in any other game and ramping up from there. The game graciously gifts you with some tools, like rockets that clear out entire rows and bombs that wipe out sections, again with no connection to home repair unless you use C-4 in reupholstering and I didn't know about it, in which case I am in the wrong profession, but I digress.

Of course you can earn these handy tools in the game through coins and lotteries the game has, but the number they give you is woefully inadequate considering the difficulty. They will however be happy to give you more explosives if you just give them some real life money, and there we see the catch. The goal is to get you frustrated enough that you buy a power up, then another, then you're hooked.

The Verdict

In case you didn't get it from my subtext, the Scapes games are not worth clicking on. Starting with the false advertising and following through with them trying to frustrate the user base into spending money, the game is just not very good. If you've been wondering about the ads, know for sure, here, that the Scapes games are not something you want to try.

River Song Binge List

I recently finished up the Tenth Doctor era of Doctor Who, which leads me straight into the Eleventh Doctor. He’s not my favorite (Ten is my favorite), but Eleven has some great stories too (after all he had Clara Oswald and the 50th Anniversary Special). One of the highlights of the Eleventh Doctor era has to be River Song. She’s feisty, she’s adventurous, and she’s mysterious. A few years back a roommate brought up the idea of watching River Song’s story chronologically. I still haven’t done it, but I still want to. This isn’t for new fans, but there’ll be some hardcore Whovians who want this.

1. A Good Man Goes to War (Series 6, Episode 7)
Gotta start with her story as a baby. She also appears as an adult here, but I’m going to ignore that for a moment. But as Kovarian’s people have Amy and Baby Melody, the Doctor and Rory end up pulling together a rescue team.

2. The Impossible Astronaut/Day of the Moon (Series 6, Episodes 1-2)
Again we’ve got River Song from different ages. Right now I’m going to focus on kid Melody. So while adult River is helping the Doctor with all his shenanigans, young Melody is trapped in her spacesuit until she eventually regenerates at the end of Episode 2.

3. Let’s Kill Hitler (Series 6, Episode 8)
After Melody’s regeneration, she ends up in the 21st Century where she grows up alongside her parents. So through the Amy/Rory flashbacks here, we see Mels grow up. Eventually, when she ends up in the TARDIS with the Ponds and the Doctor, they head to WWII and fight Hitler. And then during the gunshots, Mels regenerates into River Song.

4. Closing Time (Series 6, Episode 12)
This episode focuses mostly on the Doctor and Craig and Stormaggedon fighting the Cybermen. However, at the end we get River Song studying in the 52nd Century before Madam Kovarian takes her to kill the Doctor.

5. The Wedding of River Song (Series 6, Episode 13)
Not missing a beat after “Closing Time”, we lead into Lake Silencio, but from a different River Song perspective in the spacesuit. She breaks the fixed point in time to save the Doctor and (long story short) she ends up marrying him in the broken timeline.

6. A Good Man Goes to War (Series 6, Episode 7)
We’ve come first circle. After their wedding and the Doctor’s “death”, River Song is in prison and the Doctor takes her out for dates. After one of them, she sees her father Rory trying to recruit her for a rescue mission to get Amy and Baby Melody (not knowing who she really is). As such she refuses to join the mission, but later shows up to reveal her identity to Amy and Rory.

7. The Impossible Astronaut/Day of the Moon (Series 6, Episodes 1-2)
Returning to this two-part episode, we’re following adult River now back to Lake Silencio (from another perspective) and then back to 1969 to chase down a mystery. The TARDIS team learns about a little girl in a spacesuit and a new monster they call the Silence. Everything works out in the end, even if it involves killing the Silence. For now.

8. The Pandorica Opens/The Big Bang (Series 5, Episodes 12-13)
Somewhere along the lines, River Song heads back to 102 AD and pretends to be Cleopatra. She leads the Doctor and Amy to Stonehenge and the Pandorica. She ends up getting trapped in the TARDIS while reality slowly falls apart, until the Doctor rescues her and restarts the universe.

9. The Time of Angels/Flesh and Stone (Series 5, Episodes 4-5)
The Doctor and his new-ish companion Amy Pond team up with River Song against the Weeping Angels. He doesn’t know who she is at this point, but she knows. So they beat the Weeping Angels and all is well (for now) but “spoilers”.

10. The Wedding of River Song (Series 6, Episode 13)
Just at the end of this episode, River Song appears claiming to have come straight from the Weeping Angels adventure. It’s a short scene but River reveals that the Doctor isn’t actually dead. Spoilers again.

11. The Angels Take Manhattan (Series 7, Episode 5)
The Doctor, the Ponds, and River get caught up in a back and forth time travel story between 2012 and the 1930s. It’s a sad episode for the Doctor, as he and River say goodbye to her parents (although there’s nothing to say she didn’t go visit them later, I suppose)

12. The Husbands of River Song (Christmas Special 2015)
For the first time, River doesn’t recognize the Doctor. She and the Twelfth Doctor end up in the middle of a con in a 54th Century Christmas. The episode ends with his final date with her (gifting her a sonic screwdriver) before she goes off to the Library, where he first met her.

13. Silence in the Library/Forest of the Dead (Series 4, Episodes 8-9)
River shows up at the Library and meets the Tenth Doctor and Donna. In the fight against the Vashta Narada, I think she slowly realizes that it’s her end. By the end of the story, she knows she needs to sacrifice herself so the Doctor can live on and meet her properly.

14. The Name of the Doctor (Series 7, Episode 13)
After her death and upload into the Library, she gets called on by Madame Vastra and a phantom of her gets roped into a visit to Trenzalore where she coaches Clara along the way. And finally at the end, at least as far as we know, she says goodbye to the Doctor and gets closure.

Which was your favorite River Song adventure? If they were to show her again, how would you like it to happen? I know she’s met other Doctors in the audio stories. Can anyone recommend one of those for me?