What to Know From Disney Plus’s Countdown to Doomsday

An epic trailer for Avengers Doomsday was released at D23. Shortly after, the "Countdown to Avengers Doomsday" collection appeared on Disney Plus. I did a few prep lists of my own (including twenty-five movies and five television series). Disney's list is a bit more concise and is very doable between now and Doomsday, but in case you don't have time to binge fifteen movies/series, I've broken down the basics of what I think you need to know from each:

X-Men

This movie established Fox's X-Men series with a number of core characters set to appear in Doomsday: Professor X, Magneto, Mystique, and Cyclops. It began the "mutant threat" facing humanity. While the politicians debated the issue, Magneto set out to turn them into mutants (not knowing that the process would kill them). Other than establishing our X-Men, I'm curious how this movie will play into Doomsday. Is it just to introduce us to the mutants or is the "mutant threat" going to create a rift between the X-Men and the Avengers?

X2

It was in my "extra credit" section for the introduction of Nightcrawler, but the plot continued the saga of the X-Men and the mutant threat, as Strucker used mind control serum (harvested from his son) to frame Nightcrawler for an assassination attempt and to attempt to destroy the mutants. It also gave us glimpses into Wolverine's lost memories (later explored in X-Men Origins). However, I'm not sure how this continued mutant threat will contribute to Doomsday, except to introduce Nightcrawler.

Captain America: The First Avenger

Okay so we're prepping for an Avengers movie. Captain America is the first Avenger. Pretty straight forward "why" for this movie. Steve Rogers went from being a scrawny young man to having a body and powers that men would envy for generations. After losing his best friend (for now) and thwarting Red Skull, Cap sacrificed himself to save countless people, leaving him frozen in ice until the 21st Century. 

Avengers

We had the "first Avenger" and now we have the first Avengers movie. Captain America, Thor, Iron Man, Black Widow, Hawkeye, and Hulk teamed up to fight Loki and his army. They became the core team of the Avengers. Though they'd only team up every few years, this was the jumping off point for all Marvel superhero crossovers.

Avengers: Infinity War 

After all their phase two and phase three shenanigans, Infinity War brought our heroes together again. By this point, the roster included names such as Vision, Falcon, War Machine, Black Panther, and Spider-Man, and more. All our heroes fought Thanos to keep him from using the six Infinity Stones and lost. Thanos decimated half the population of the universe and sent many of our remaining heroes spiraling.

Avengers: Endgame

Five years after the events of Infinity War, the remaining Avengers teamed up to jump across time streams to retrieve the six Infinity Stones and revive the missing half of the universe's population. It took the sacrifice of Black Widow to complete the set of stones, but they succeeded in the end. The epic movie culminated in a massive head-on fight against Thanos's forces. Despite the Avengers best efforts, it took Tony Stark sacrificing himself to use the Infinity Stones to win the battle. And in the aftermath of the fight, Captain America returned the six Infinity Stones to their time streams, taking his sweet time in a parallel Earth, until he came back as an old man. With the Avengers left with three members missing, we headed into Phase Four and beyond.

Loki

Because of the time travel antics of Endgame, a variant of Loki escaped captivity... for a moment before the Time Variance Authority apprehended him. Through his manipulation of the TVA, Loki eventually ended up at the end of time with a female Loki variant (Sylvie). She killed a Kang variant, releasing the shackles on the multiverse. But as reality started crumbling, it took our Loki variant from Endgame to hold all the strands of the multiverse together. Perhaps it's something to do with this Loki's new role in the multiverse that causes the rumored incursions of Doomsday.

Shang Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings

The biggest thing this movie brings for Doomsday (as far as we know) is the reluctant hero Shang Chi. After defeating his father and a soul-devouring demon, our new hero was recruited by the Avengers. The mystical Ten Rings that he won off his father gave off some sort of energy that the Avengers noted. Perhaps this unknown energy is interwoven with the multiverse and that's why Disney included Shang Chi in their Doomsday countdown.

Spider-Man: No Way Home

Our first multiversal movie! Spidey hasn't been confirmed for Doomsday, but even if he doesn't appear we still learned a lot about the multiverse in this movie. After the events of Far From Home, Peter didn't want people to remember his secret identity anymore. Using Doctor Strange's powers, he tried to make them forget, but instead a number of villains came from other universes after Peter botched the spell. By teaming up with two others Spideys, the villains were defeated and/or redeemed. To save the multiverse from caving in on them, Doctor Strange made everyone forget Peter Parker (which led into Brand New Day).

Black Panther: Wakanda Forever 

After the death of her brother T'Challa, Shuri and her mother were left leading Wakanda without a king. As they encountered Namor, things got more complicated. Especially after the death of Shuri's mother. The Wakandan princess ended up leading the nation of Wakanda against the Namor's forces. By the miracle of science, she was able to synthesize the herb that turned her into the Black Panther. She was able to broker peace with Namor's people. And since Shuri and Namor are both supposed to appear in Doomsday, it's obvious why this is on the list.

Captain America: Brave New World

The passing of the torch (shield) from Steve to Sam happened in Endgame and was further explored in The Falcon and the Winter Soldier. This solo adventure (which could have been a Hulk movie) was his first cinematic adventure as the new Cap. Sam chased a mystery across the globe to thwart the mind games of Samuel Sterns and to clear the name of Isaiah Bradley. The new Cap also had to face off against Red Hulk. Any sane person would have been scared out of their mind to face any Hulk, but Sam managed it somehow.

Deadpool & Wolverine 

This movie finally bridged the gap of the MCU and the Fox's Marvel movies (not just X-Men). Even if you don't watch R-rated movies, the movie taught us many things about the multiverse. Deadpool got dragged into the TVA where we learned about anchor beings. Instead of sitting quietly, Wade ended up multiverse hopping through X-Men universes to find a new Wolverine for his world. The two fought and defeated Cassandra Nova and Paradox to save the multiverse. With Fox's X-Men coming into Doomsday, at the very least this movie establishes those Fox movies as part of the MCU multiverse. Also, we have Channing Tatum's Gambit returning (or maybe a variant).

Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness 

It's right there in the title: Multiverse of Madness. Universe hopping Doctor Strange was working to save America Chavez and save Wanda Maximoff from herself. Like with Deadpool 3, we learned a lot about the multiverse here. We learned more about variants, incursions, and dreamwalking. Stephen Strange had to dreamwalk into his variant's corpse to save America from the Scarlet Witch. In the end, Wanda sacrificed herself to redeem herself, but not before Doctor Strange read from the Darkhold. During the credit scene, a woman named Clea came to Doctor Strange to address incursions he caused. Supposedly incursions will play a big part in Doomsday, though Doctor Strange hasn't been confirmed for the movie yet.

Thunderbolts*

Our New Avengers will be major players in the movie. We can tell that much from the trailer. This movie put together a Suicide Squad of Marvel pseudo-heroes. After Valentina sent the group to kill each other and clean up her mess, the band of misfits ended up on the run. When Bob became Sentry, his alterego Void was unleashed. The new team had to enter into Bob's nightmares to talk him down and bring him back to reality. It's a beautiful scene relevant to anyone's mental health and I love it. I just hope Bob is okay during Doomsday.

The Fantastic Four: First Steps

An essential part of Doomsday is Fantastic Four. Though Doctor Doom doesn't appear until the credit scene, he's always be tied to these heroes. The movie began with the Fantastic Four already established as Earth's heroes (on a parallel Earth with retro 60's vibes). With Galactus on the way and Sue pregnant, the Fantastic Four headed into space to intercept the Devourer of Worlds before he could reach Earth. In exchange for Earth, Galactus wanted the newborn baby. The Fantastic Four worked tirelessly prevent the Earth's destruction. When Galactus finally arrived, the heroes were able to send him to the far reaches of the universe. The baby was safe. However, the credits rolled, Doctor Doom appeared with obvious interest in the child.

If you don't have time to rewatch all fifteen (or to watch the ones you've missed) hopefully these breakdowns give you a decent understanding of where we're at in the MCU going into Doomsday. Or maybe it has wet your pallet and made you want to watch them (not sure I'm that good of a writer, but I can dream). As of this post, you could watch one item per week and finish in time for Avengers.

Avengers assemble!

More Content You Might Like:

• "Thunderbolts: What About Bob?" by Spencer
• "Mr. Fantastic Knows Nothing… Welcome to Parenting" by Spencer
• "Deadpool & Wolverine - What You're Missing" by Joe

Spencer's Doomsday Prep Lists:

• "5 Marvel Movies to Watch Before Avengers Doomsday"
  
• X-Men
• Iron Man
• Captain America: Winter Soldier
• Avengers: Infinity War
• Avengers: Endgame
• "5 Marvel Shows to Watch Before Avengers Doomsday"
• WandaVision
• The Falcon and the Winter Soldier 
• Loki
• Hawkeye
• What If...?
• "5 More Marvel Movies to Watch Before Avengers Doomsday"
• Spider-Man
• Black Panther: Wakanda Forever
• Thor: Love and Thunder
• Thunderbolts*
• Fantastic Four: First Steps

Best MCU Beards for No-Shave November

Each year when No-Shave November comes around, I think to test my genetics and see if I can grow a beard than last year. My genes are such that it took me into my thirties to test myself long enough to get the goatee that I currently have. But November isn’t just about the face fuzz, but about men’s health. Physical and mental. So while I'm having a bit of fun with the Marvel-lous men (they seriously give me beard envy) men's health is serious. Many of us internalized the message to not ask for help. Don’t forget to check in on your mental and physical health. And don’t isolate yourself in the world of men; find your team of Avengers.

Though in no particular order, naturally I had to start here. Because iconic.

Maybe similar to Tony's, but it showed his transition from doctor to sorcerer.

Probably the closest to the beard I'm able to grow (but I lack sideburns).

Fitz started as a baby-faced nerd, but became a tough stubbly spy.

Without Hydra programming, Bucky needed something to keep looking tough.

Maybe Matt got tired of paying someone else to shave him?

Very polished and regal. A beard fit for a king.

Sometimes you can't care to shave (and sometimes you want to see your capabilities).

I think we all had beard envy for Cap's temporary on-the-run beard.

Fury was trying to look homeless. A beard helps, I guess?

I don’t know that I ever want chops like Hugh Jackman, but it’s iconic now. 

I had to finish off with The Thing’s bolder-y beard. Love it!

Deadpool & Wolverine - What You're Missing

This is a funny film to review on Latter-Day Saint Geeks, considering it's not only rated R but REALLY rated R, but as the morally flexible heathen I am I was happy to go see Deadpool & Wolverine and can't wait to tell y'all what you may've missed. 

Spoilers. 

Quick Recap

So for those not following the Deadpool movies here's a summary: Deadpool is what happens when you give Bugs Bunny a whole ton of guns and tell him to go nuts. The irreverent Merc with a Mouth is a mutant, same as the X-Men, except he was given his powers through a shady experiment by bad guys who wanted to make an army of mutants they could control. He went through the procedure to cure his extremely aggressive cancer, which his newfound healing powers did, but it left him incredibly disfigured. 

First movie he spends his time trying to find the guy that did this to him so he could be with his girlfriend Vanessa since he thinks she wouldn't love him if he was ugly. Turns out there is no cure and that Vanessa loves him for who he is. 

Second movie Vanessa is killed as a result of his vigilante/mercenary work. In his grief Deadpool tries to find ways to negate his powers so he can finally die and be with her. He meets up with Cable, a time travelling soldier of fortune and they have their own shenanigans before Deadpool takes his time travel device and saves Vanessa. 

Still following? Okay let's get into movie three. 

Multiverse of Hilarious

In Deadpool & Wolverine, Deadpool has hung  up the suit and is a car salesman, trying to make an honest life after his time indiscriminately killing people caused his longtime girlfriend Vanessa to break up with him. Despite his depression he is grateful for the group of weirdos he's adopted along the way that make up his family. He's celebrating this when he gets abducted by the TVA, the same guys Loki was messing with in his show on Disney+. They want to put Deadpool into the MCU, which would give him a chance to be an Avenger and prove to Vanessa that he isn't just a serial killer with a sense of humor. However, the TVA manager he's working with, Paradox, tells him that he's being pulled out because his universe is degrading. Despite this being a process that can take thousands of years, Paradox has decided that he wants to prune the timeline in memory of the former TVA who patrolled the Sacred Timeline (Watch Loki for how this nonsense works). Deadpool is told that his adopted family can't come with him so he goes on his own quest to save his timeline. 

Come to find out, to my great annoyance, that the timeline is dying because its anchor being (Read "Most profitable character") is dead, which happens to be everyone's favorite sentient piece of toxic masculinity Wolverine. Deadpool hops multiverses looking for a new Wolverine to replace his, finds one that he likes, and then is dumped to the wasteland at the bottom of the multiverse where everything the TVA deems either too dangerous or too unimportant to be in the mainstream goes to die. 

Eventually the duo get out, save the world, and the girl is saved. 

Oh but wait, Spider-Fans, there's more!

Wasteland of Misfit Fox Movies

One of several running gags in the film is that Deadpool is leaving Fox and moving to Disney, along with the X-Men. We could go into the behind-the-scenes stuff on this but suffice it to say that before we had the MCU we had a whole ton of questionably connected superhero movies which internet nerds like me argue about the quality and significance of until the MGM lion chokes. When Deadpool and Wolverine reach the wasteland they get to meet a handful of former Marvel heroes in more celebrity cameos than a Muppet movie. The film then becomes a tribute to all the Marvel movies that helped pave the way for the MCU to exist at all, and a thank you for the fans who showed up to see their favorites get live-action adaptations. Even my black, jaded little heart squeed at the appearance of Wesley Snipes Blade and Tyler Mane's Sabretooth, but none warmed my heart than Channing Tatum's Gambit. 

The Gambit movie was in preproduction years ago, with hype around Tatum learning card tricks and taking accent lessons to play the Ragin' Cajuan before the movie was canned, much to my disappointment. Gambit is my favorite X-Man and after his portrayal in X-Men Origins: Wolverine I was excited for a GOOD live-action version of Gambit only to get.... Nothing. Tatum feeds my fanboy in Deadpool & Wolverine by giving us the GAMBIT WE NEED, even if just for a little bit. 

Oh and a handful of Avengers show up throughout but who cares. 

What Does This Mean for the MCU? 

Well... Honestly we don't know. At the end of the movie status quo is restored as Deadpool's universe is once again safe and still separate from the main MCU. This opens the potential for the X-Men and the Avengers to come together down the line if there's yet more multiverse shenanigans, but with the Kang the Conqueror currently being reworked it's unsure what Marvel/Disney is going to do with the mutants now. We're sadly just going to have to wait and see. 

-JOE

P.S. Notice that this post is shorter than my usual rants. You try writing about a Deadpool movie and keep it PG! 

Wolverine Binge List

There’s a distinct chance that because of it’s R-rated, many of our readers aren’t planning on seeing Deadpool & Wolverine. Before seeing its trailers involving Hugh Jackman, TVA, Ant-Man, etc. I was one of them. Still not 100% sure if I’ll see it (I find Deadpool annoying, but I’m told he’s that way on purpose) but I decided I would do a Wolverine movie re-watch just in case. Of course there’s no guarantee or indication from the trailers that the Wolverine in the new movie will be the same Wolverine from the X-Men movies. Could be another Wolverine variant played by Hugh Jackman (like Patrick Stewart's Professor X variant in Multiverse of Madness). Honestly, I'm still not a fan of the X-Men movies becoming canon with the MCU, with their convoluted time travel and continuity errors. All the same, I'm here for the ride, so here's your journey through Hugh Jackman's Wolverine.

X-Men Origins: Wolverine

It was the fourth X-Men movie to be released by Fox, but the first chronologically for Wolverine. This film gave us a much deeper look into the flashes of memories that Logan experienced in X2. While not popular among many fans, I enjoyed X-Men Origins. Maybe it's because I had zero expectations regarding Deadpool. Maybe it's because I love a good flashback. But I still enjoy this movie... until I start analyzing continuity errors, but that has more to do with later movies than this one.

X-Men

Completely amnesiac after the events of Origins, by the time of this movie Wolverine had started calling himself Logan. After picking up Rogue as a stowaway, one thing led to another and the duo ended up at Xavier's School. This is the movie that began it all (we wouldn't be having a third Deadpool movie without the success of this one). So you can't miss this one.

X2

Sequel to the first of course and this movie gave us glimpses into the backstory later explored in Origins, with Stryker and Canada. While Logan had his issues in the last movie, this film started Wolverine into the mix of trauma and heartbreak that would would follow him for multiple sequels and spin-offs.

X-Men: The Last Stand

As if Logan doesn't already have enough going on grieving Jean, her miraculous return, the inevitable betrayal, and the "mutant cure", this movie had to put a nice big nail in the coffin that is Logan's psyche, when forced to kill Jean. It's also the first of several Dark Phoenix adaptations that X-Men fans love to complain about.

The Wolverine

Including my preparations for this blog post, I think I've seen this movie a total of two times. So obviously it didn't leave much of an impression with me. So while Wolverine is already grieving Jean and his choice to kill her, he's not faced with the dilemma of his mortality (or lack thereof, depending on the part of the movie). Honestly, I mostly see this movie as a bridge between the original trilogy and Days of Future Past. Hadn't even seen this movie before seeing that one, so it kind of feels inconsequential. 

X-Men: Days of Future Past

Simultaneously a continuation of the X-Men trilogy/The Wolverine and a sequel to First Class, this movie remains one of my favorite X-Men movies. Kind of wish they'd have stopped here instead of continuing with the soft reboot (that started the majority of the continuity errors, in my opinion). We got the return of many beloved mutants and the introduction of Quicksilver (whose variant would be killed a year later in Age of Ultron). And with this movie's ending, we had the conclusion to the original Wolverine.

Logan

It's unclear which timeline this version of Wolverine belongs to. Is he from the sentinel's future (before they changed history) or is he from the new timeline (who was seen as Weapon X)? Or maybe a third unrelated timeline? Regardless, this R-rated film is highly praised by fans--though I was underwhelmed by it. If the Wolverine appearing in Deadpool 3 is the same Logan from previous movies, it won't be this one (just based on his age). But all the same, this movie is popular and could still be one of those multiverse branches that the TVA has dealt with. We'll probably never know for sure.

If these movies aren't enough to get you into a Wolverine mood, you can also revisit his cameo from First Class and his appearance in Apocalypse. Also relevant, in addition to Deadpool, from what we can tell in the trailers might be Loki. Especially season one. Or since Wade Wilson is going in blind to it all anyway, you could skip straight to the chaos that'll be Deadpool & Wolverine this summer.

What Deadpool and Wolverine means for the MCU

We've talked about why they shouldn't show up in the MCU. 

We've talked about why they should show up in the MCU. 

Now it's official: They're coming. 

The X-Men are coming to the MCU. 

And we can thank Deadpool. 

Why Deadpool?

The X-Men movie franchise has had its ups and downs over the last 24 years, with the movies ranging from meme fodder abominations (X-Men: Apocalypse) to arguably the best super hero movie of all time (Wolverine). The consistent parts in the movies have been A: We love Hugh Jackman's Wolverine, B: We love Ryan Reynolds Deadpool and C: No matter how bad they are we will turn up for the next one. 

Lately the MCU has hit a bit of a slump compared to its heyday, and the future is starting to look cloudy with Kang the Conqueror being recast and his story arc being retooled due to behind the scenes stuff we don't need to get into here, the MCU needs a win. So they're going to pull the tried and true gambit: Take something that has proven to be successful and do it again only with a ridiculous amount of money behind it. And thus the funny/ultraviolent superhero is going to bring the X-Men into the MCU. 

Why the X-Men?

The fact is though that every time even a remote hint of the X-Men is dropped into the MCU the fans speculate until the Brood come home about "What does this mean for the MCU and the X-Men?". I remember following the copyright ruling regarding Quicksilver and the Scarlet Witch back before X-Men: First Class and Avengers: Age of Ultron came out and wondering if the X-Men were coming in. 

The fact is: No matter how much I don't like the X-Men mixed in with the rest of the Marvel Universe (Inconsistencies in world-building since why do we praise the guy who is on literally mega-steroids as a hero while call for the death of a little girl with fish gills etc etc) even I felt that rush of giddiness when they told Kamala that her powers are the result of a mutation and the X-Men cartoon music riffed in the background. The X-Men are a fundamental part of the Marvel canon and we have been aching to see them given the same treatment as the Avengers in the MCU. 

Fanboy Gripes

Okay now is time for me to complain about all the things I don't want to see Marvel/Disney do now that they're dragging my beloved mutants into their giant franchise so if you don't want to hear complaining skip down to the end where I put some cute animals dressed as X-Men. 

1: Do not take a multilayered complex story like The Phoenix Saga or Age of Apocalypse and try to rush it through a single movie or episode of something. Looking at you Captain America: Civil War. 

2: Do not shy away from the soap opera levels of messy relationships, false marriages, doppleganger relationships and fake out deaths that make the X-Men so fun to read. These characters are beloved but as relationship partners they are hot messes and we like them that way. 

3: DON'T DUMP ALL YOUR STORY IDEAS AND PLOTS ONTO WOLVERINE AGAIN!

-JOE

Why We Love the Mary Sue

 I'm going to catch flack for this. 

What is a Mary Sue? 

The term "Mary Sue" refers to a character that can in their own fiction essentially do no wrong. Everything they do is right the first time and everyone either admires them, loves them, fears them or whatever the narrative needs them to be. Mary Sues typically show up in comic book characters though they appear frequently in video game characters and in children's cartoons. Mary Sues in general are thought to be the result of bad writing and are constantly being criticized by the geek community at large. 

And yet we love them. 

Why? 

Rampant Hypocrisy

I've gone on record stating how much I dislike Wolverine (Wow that was ten years ago and I still haven't run out of things to whine about...) and I've hinted at my dislike of Batman, not only for their portrayals of toxic masculinity but for their overall Mary Sue qualities, and yet there's plenty of other Sues I adore. I was thinking about this while replaying The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt and realizing how much I love Geralt yet how big of one he is. He always knows how to kill every monster (Even if the player doesn't), he's constantly flexing lore at everyone he comes across, and everyone is either terrified of him or madly in love with him (Seriously, every female character is in love with this guy). 

I'm the same way with Benedict Cumberbatch's portrayal of Sherlock Holmes in the titular Sherlock, arguably the first recorded Mary Sue (Okay maybe Odysseus) his super power is to always be right, which while if we were roommates I would crack his head on the pavement outside of 221B Baker Street, I absolutely love watching that show. Truth be told I probably wouldn't be great roommates with Geralt either since he seems like the kind of guy that would take over the TV for some stupid documentary on aliens while I'm trying to get my Golden Girls on. 

That's where my question comes in though: If Mary Sues would be insufferable to be around in real life and if they are a sign of bad writing, why do we love them so much? 

Ultimate Power Fantasy

The appeal to me is in the power fantasy. No matter how bad things are Geralt never loses his cool, even in situations where I would be running aimlessly flapping my arms and screaming incoherently. That effortless confidence in knowing that he has a perfect handle on every situation is something to be admired, even if it is unobtainable. Sherlock is the same way, dripping with confidence with no time to deal with anything inconsequential. 

The truth is Mary Sues have built in plot armor, meaning that because they're the heroes they are automatically meant to succeed. The difference between them and a more flawed character is that the Mary Sue almost knows that no matter what happens they are the main characters in their own stories, and act like they know they have the everything proof plot armor. In a world where things can be incredibly unsure, it's nice to project into a character that has control of their surroundings. 

Mary Sue Vacuum

The best Mary Sue stories to me put the characters into a vacuum where they don't have to interact with other characters that I like. Most Mary Sues charisma only extends to seducing romantic interests. Like I said, living in a house with Geralt, Sherlock and Guts, another Mary Sue I love, it would be a nightmare. Half the time everyone would be arguing over which quests to go on and the other half they'd be trying to outwit the others in a cunning-off. 

Or fight to the death. 

When Batman is alone tracking the Joker with just his inner monologue to accompany him ala the Hush comic arc he's pretty cool. When he's acting like he's the baddest thing in the Justice League with Wonder Woman and Superman standing right next to him and they AGREE with him then that's a character that just thinks too much of himself. Where the Mary Sue finds the most appeal is in a solo setting, where they're only better than the situation and aren't trying to prove to everyone that they're the best at everything and instead are just out being the best at everything. In the former they look insecure and in the latter we get that confidence that we love so much. 

Where Nobody Loves a Mary Sue

I can't go a post without mentioning my favorite thing of all time Dungeons and Dragons. For those who want to extend their Mary Sue persona into the realms of D&D my advice is DON'T. Remember that D&D is not meant to have a main character, it's a cooperative experience, and Mary Sues only exist to annoy everyone else at the table. Even if you were imitating Sherlock, Guts or Geralt I would have your character drawn and quartered if they tried to show Mary Sue traits. 

-JOE

The Real Prince Charming

Tomorrow marks the day that is adored and hated by millions around the world.  Some men will groan thinking of all the expectations to get their girlfriend or wife something to commemorate the occasion.  Singles will have to endure the bombarding of public proclamations of love while trying to ignore the fact that there isn't a special person in their life.  For everyone else, there is sweet candy, joyous affection, and thoughtful greetings.

I'm not the biggest fan of Valentine's day.  I don't have anything against romantic love.  I think romance is wonderful and sweet.  What I do have a problem with is the fan base of romantic love.  If romance were a superhero it would be Wolverine.  Wolverine has a huge fan base and has been the lead character for all of the X-Men movies with the exception of First Class.  Even then, we can't have an X-Men movie without Wolverine and so we get a short funny cameo of the character.  The X-Men universe is rich with interesting characters that would make great lead characters.  Cyclops is the leader of the X-Men but doesn't get the screen time he really deserves in any of the movies.  (And he's played wonderfully by James Marsden!)

See, I don't hate Wolverine like Joe.  There's actually a lot about the character that I really like.  He's so over the top it's just awesomely silly.  But because Wolverine is so popular, he sells.  Since he sells, the studio execs over at Fox make sure that he's the main character for every X-Men movie created.  Forget Cyclops, Cable, Magneto, Shadow Cat, and Psylocke, there's only one character Fox cares about and it's Wolverine.

This is my problem with Valentine's Day and a lot (but not all) of Disney movies.  They support the idea that romantic love is the best kind of love and the most important.  Chick flicks, some Disney princess movies, and Valentine's day support unhealthy expectations and beliefs about relationships and what true love is.  Some writers have defined this as emotional pornography.  They're pretty much spot on too.  Think about all of the unrealistic expectations actual pornography creates in sexuality, relationships, and love.  Do certain chick flicks and the ideas fueling the sales of Valentine's day do any better?

This is also why I love movies like Brave, Scott Pilgrim versus the World, [500] Days of Summer, and Frozen.  Princess Merida doesn't wait for a prince in shining armor to come and rescue her.  She isn't looking to do sign language with the hero and say, "You complete me."  She wants a life that is her own.  The movie isn't about romantic love but the love shared between a mother and daughter.

In Frozen, Ana is accidentally cursed by her sister Elsa.  As the clock ticks she inches closer and closer to becoming a frozen statue.  The curse can only be broken by an expression of true love.  She is rushed back to the castle only to find that her "love"-at-first-sight boyfriend is a jerk and locks her away so that the curse kills her.  Ana breaks out with the help of Olaf realizing that her love for Kristoff is far more real.  Ana then faces a choice.

On one part of the frozen fjord is Elsa kneeling and sobbing while the "love"-at-first-sight ex-boyfriend gets ready to strike her down.  On the other part, is Kristoff.  Ana immediately goes to Elsa completely forgetting about her curse and leaps between the sword and her sister.  Ana turns to ice as the sword breaks.  Elsa embraces the frozen statue of her sister and sobs.  At this point, it would have been really cool for Elsa to sing a reprise of Do You Want to Build a Snowman but the movie is still great without it.  Ah, but what's this?  One of Elsa's tears drops onto Ana and she starts to thaw.  Ana is restored because of an expression of true love!

That's right.  The true love wasn't romance.  It was the true love shared between siblings.

I'm not saying chick flicks and romance are bad things.  I used to be a bit of a romantic.  I have even enjoyed a chick flick or two.  It's just important to not get wrapped up in thinking that romance is the only form of true love or to buy into the codependent ideas seen in the media.

I've bought into these ideas before.  I grew up watching the same Disney movies as everyone else.  I've heard gal friends lament of the loss of Prince Charming and Chivalry.  I used to think to myself, "I can be Prince Charming.  Chivalry isn't dead." The unrealistic expectations they found for a spouse I found for myself.  I believed I could be the knight in shining armor and live in some idealized world where I would be completely selfless and live to serve my princess.

The real Prince Charming is not like that.  The real Prince Charming may certainly have a princess in his life but he isn't controlled by her.  He certainly does many selfless things for his sweet bride but he doesn't neglect his own needs by doing so.  (Neither does the real princess.)  The real Prince Charming is assertive and has a lot of responsibilities and interests beyond his wife and family.  He doesn't feel completed by them but feels completed by his Heavenly Father.  He appreciates the opportunities his family gives him to be Christlike.  The real Prince Charming isn't shamed for not living up to what he's supposed to be.  He's loved, accepted, and supported to be the best he can be.

This Valentine's Day, let's celebrate more than just romance.  (Doesn't Wolverine have enough movies about him already?)  Let's celebrate fraternal love, maternal love, paternal love, the love of neighbors, the love of friends, the love of strangers, and the love of God.  There is so much to real and true love.  Romance is great but it doesn't replace the love you may have for your siblings, parents, and close friends.  Isn't that love just as meaningful and Christlike?

-Stephen

Why I HATE Wolverine

He looks like he forgot what he was going to say

I know what you’re going to say: “Joe! Having a psychotic rant about why Kingdom Hearts is dead is one thing, but are you really going to go after everyone’s favorite misunderstood psychopath?” The answer is Yes, yes I am.

So as I’ve stated several times I’m a DC fan, but one part of Marvel I’ve always found fascinating was the struggle of the X-Men. I got into it mainly with the Ultimate series back in 2000 but since I’ve delved into the adventures of the students of Xavier and I’ve loved nearly everything I’ve ever read.

Everything except Wolverine.

Let me start off with this: HE TRIES TOO HARD! When he’s not in uniform (I’ll get to that in a minute) he’s a motorcycle riding cigar smoking cowboy who has a possible alcohol problem. They’ve done everything to make this guy cool from his out of place Japanese samurai piece in his backstory to the endless scenes with him breaking the fourth wall and popping his claws. I swear sometimes he sheathes them just so he can unsheathe them again when another bad guy walks up. And tell me how many times we’ve seen this: Wolverine in a bar smoking a cigar with a beer playing pool against a bunch of hicks who then make fun of his stupid haircut or how short he is and he proceeds to beat everyone in the establishment to death with his pool cue. Even the movies found an excuse to stick him in a bar (which apparently has no drinking age) and get him into a bar fight. This is the kind of behavior I would expect from Homer Simpson or Stan’s dad from South Park.

Why do his boots have ears?

As for his costume, his little super hero outfit has got to be the stupidest costume I’ve ever seen. Here’s a guy who’s all but invincible with unbreakable caws trained in stealth and covert ops and they stuck him in bright yellow with sky blue briefs. I’d buy the idea that it’d give the bad guys a target to shoot at when his X-Men teammates were around, but he showed up to the team wearing this nonsense (Granted, his origins he wears a dark orange thing but whatever). And where on Earth did he get this thing? I always see him running out of Weapon X in a diaper or less, it’s hard for me to imagine a confused and newly created Wolverine stopping off at JoAnn’s fabric for a few yards of material. Let me ask you this too, does he honestly want to be taken seriously in that mask with the ears? Batman barely pulls that off!

How much does she spend on nail polish?

They say you can judge a man by the company he keeps and I’d say that’s true in this case.

Analyzing Wolverine’s romantic interests we come across a girlfriend from his Japanese days named Yuri Cho (A name which he dramatically says every 5 seconds in the 90’s cartoon) who ends up being a psychopath with a complicated relationship with her manicurist, and Jean Grey, who not only is spoken for but is also possessed by an all-powerful evil space-bird. Seriously, why do people fight over this woman? I know I’m getting off topic, but are there really no better women on the X-Men then the space-bird woman? Anyway, for some unexplained reason Wolverine also pines for the affections of Jean Grey, despite she already being spoken for by the world’s blandest super hero, Cyclops. I know it’s supposed to add some element of drama but all it does is take away from the overall struggle the X-Men deal with, not to mention takes pages away from more interesting characters, like anyone else.

Because every man wants an insane pyro...

Besides everything else, Wolverine is just a psycho. A lot of people make a comparison between him and Batman as them both being anti-heroes, but the difference is that Batman may be a dark brooding anti-hero, but Wolverine to date has killed more minions than a decent sized natural disaster. The only reason I think he even hangs out with the good guys is because the bad guys have more minions for him to dice up. I’m sure if Magneto, Apocalypse, Mr. Sinister and that guy who keeps building the sentinels were all killed Wolverine would just turn around and slaughter his teammates next. And how does Xavier allow this guy on the team? It’s going to be pretty awkward when he’s finally awarded the Nobel Peace prize for uniting Mutants and humans and someone brings up Wolverine.

Me and my cool Canadian friend Nathan. 

Like I said in the beginning, Wolverine just tries way too hard to be liked. Instead of making a consistent character with a focused background he’s just a mess of storylines, cliché’s and useless overmasculinity.  Someone once told me he’s trying to make up for being Canadian, but I know plenty of cooler Canadians than this guy! Nathan Fillian is a cooler Canadian! Michael J. Fox is a cooler Canadian! My buddy Nate Maguire is a cooler Canadian! Wolverine is just a loser who’s overcompensating for being a short, angry, hairy man.