D&D Class Breakdown: Rogue

For new players, it can be hard to choose your first class. For veteran players, it can be hard to choose a class and not fall into stereotypes everyone's seen a thousand times. So now I'm going to deconstruct the 5E Player's Handbook classes (Sorry Artificer, you'll come later) and talk about what works, what doesn't, and some interesting ways to play the classes. 

I won't be going into game mechanics as much as I'll be going into roleplay. 

Let's talk about Rogues! 

What is a Rogue? 

We have yet another class based off basic pre-industrial jobs. I kind of love how what was an everyday job 500 years ago is now a fantasy aspiration, like having physical skill is only obtainable in fiction. 

Well that's a mood. 

Anyway, like the fighter and ranger, every culture has someone able to blend into the shadows for one reason for another. The need in criminal circles is obvious, since being able to sneak is handy for thieves and assassins, but the skill also comes in handy for those who need to spy, hunt animals silently, and even protect the innocent by infiltrating bad guy spaces.  

Professional criminals are of course commonly tied to rogues, with burglars being the most in need of the skills. This isn't the "Give up your GP or your HP" sort of thug that mugs people on the streets, but the one that slips into the governor's manor in the dark of the night, taking only the truly valuable jewels, and leaving before anyone even realizes he's there. That's the spirit of the rogue. 

Quick note: the X-Men Rogue, the southern belle mutant who steals people's memories and abilities with a touch, is obviously not the kind of rogue we're talking about. Her name is in reference to the more ambiguous rogue, someone who is on the outskirts of society or the group. Since Rogue can never have a physical relationship without causing harm, she took up the name to express that she will always be an outsider. 

In The Game

Always looking for the next take, the rogue is the unsavory element in society that everyone regrets to admit that they need. The rogue knows how to get into the most guarded dungeons, infiltrate the enemies bases, and deal the lethal blow quickly and effectively. 

Most other classes see the rogue as an unstable wild-card, never quite sure weather or not the rogue can stay loyal if the right about of gold is offered, or if the dangerous individual with the unsettling amount of knives may become the next big bad. 

Players generally play three types of rogues: the murder-hobo, the kleptomaniac and the edge-lord. The murder hobo is the immoral psychopath with a lust for blood and who takes any slight as an excuse to execute the countless NPCs who cross their path. The kleptomaniac will steal anything that's either not nailed down or on fire, sometimes regardless of their value or how much trouble it could cause. The edge-lord wants everyone at the table to know that their character is dark and mysterious, constantly talking about sulking alone in a dark corner and taking a no-nonsense attitude to the parties shannegains. 

Annoying, all of them. 

Breaking the Trope

People playing this class tend to focus only on the criminal aspect of the rogue, rarely exploring the possibilities the class truly has. The following ideas will break away from the basic criminal element and show what can be done with the rogue class. 

Thrillseeker: There's a certain thrill of being somewhere you're not supposed to and seeing things only certain people can see. The thrillseeker may take a trinket here or there, but their main goal is to see what they can find, see how far in they can get before they get caught, and see what dirty little secrets they can reveal. 

Scout: Having someone to scout ahead is an unappreciated strategy for parties. You're basically breaking the DM's game by taking a peek ahead and setting off traps, accessing enemy strengths and weaknesses, and taking out an annoying guard ahead of time. 

Master of Disguise: You can hide in the shadows, yes, but what if you blended into a crowd? What if you got close to the cultist leader by pretending to be one of his inner circle? Slip into the king's party, dance with the queen, taste some crudités, take out the corrupt duke, then slip out with the rest of the shocked party guests. 

Famous Rogues

Vax'ildan (Critical Role): The rangers twin from Vox Machina, Vax is prone to breaking and entering to find the bad guy's lair and getting into trouble, including being hypnotized by a vampire. He's handy in a fight, but don't put him up against a door. 

Catwoman (DC) Selina Kyle is a literal cat burglar, so much so that at one point she put on cat ears and started owning the nickname. She's robbed every bank, museum and penthouse in Gotham, broken into and out of Arkham Asylum, and robbed billionaires like Bruce Wayne and Lex Luthor. The only thing you find after one of Catwoman's burglaries are some shredded curtains and your valuables missing. 

Flynn Ryder (Tangled)

I'd put Aladdin on here to represent Disney, but honestly Aladdin's a shoplifter compared to Flynn, who we meet completing a successful heist to steal a crown. He's a charismatic thief who can talk his way into and out of most situations. Not content to steal everything of value, Flynn focuses on the high value targets to get what he really wants, though his biggest prize is when he stole Rapunzel's heart. 

-JOE

Alexis Carrington, A Different Kind of Catwoman

Something that I am going to do is create a cast of characters from popular TV shows (and maybe movies) to recreate the villains for Batman. Why? First, I really like saying "what if So-and-so was on Such-and-such-tv-show?" It's a fun geeky game. And second, I couldn't find any other way to write this fanboy post that Joe challenged me to do and tie it to Mormon Geeks.

Welcome to April 20, 1981. It is over 8 months before the oldest Mormon Geek is actually born. It is an age when prime time soap operas are popular. Enter Vincent Duke and Aaron Spelling's new hit Dynasty. Like CBS's Dallas, ABC's Dynasty is about a wealthy oil tycoon (Blake Carrington), a new-to-the-riches bride (Crystal Jennings), the tycoon's kids (Stephen and Fallon), his friends (Jeff Colby and technically Claudia Blaisdel), and of course, his enemies (Cecil Colby and Matthew Blaisdel).

Now, this isn't the date of its premier. No, it's the date of its first season finale. Blake is on trial for murder and the prosecutors bring in a surprise character witness. The episode (and season) ends with a thin woman dressed in black and white (if it'd been polka dots, she'd have been Cruella De Vil) walking into the courtroom being revealed as Blake Carrington's ex-wife.

Fast-forward a few months (and a few casting calls) and Joan Collins is portraying one of the most memorable villains in the 80s. Now, there are no superheroes on a soap opera (there are evil twins, people who just won't die, and an unending supply of money). On the other hand, there are super villains (who have used money to their advantage) and Alexis Carrington was one of them.

If Alexis Carrington lived in Gotham she'd have been Catwoman...well...probably Cougarwoman, but you get the picture. Alexis Carrington wanted money...all of it. And she had very good methods of doing so. Where Catwoman would steal, Alexis would manipulate. Put Alexis in Gotham City and Bruce Wayne would be broke, outed out as Batman, and living with Dick Grayson in a small, run-down apartment in Metropolis wishing to be as cool as Superman.

Now here we have the beautiful Julie Newmar as Catwoman in the 1960s Batman TV show. Now de-age Alexis a bit, put the ears and faux-leather on her and boom, instant Catwoman. (If I knew how to photoshop, I would do what I can to make that happen.)

So, Joe and I have a few things in common. We're both fairly short. Neither of us will be mistaken as being anorexic. We love Carrie Underwood and Catwoman. And by all means, we both think Alexis Carrington is awesome. Yes, Joe told me that since I'm being authentic here about liking a prime-time soap opera character, that he willingly will admit it too.

Tune in next time. Same Bat blog. Roughly the same Bat time...I have no idea which villain I'd do. Any suggestions?

Alien abductions are involuntary, but probings are scheduled.

Top Ten Hottest Modest Women of Geekdom

So what do the writers of Mormon Geeks talk about, in between hands of Magic the Gathering and arguing over who would win in a fight between Iron Man and Starscream? Girls. We talk about women. So today we want to celebrate women. Not just any women, if you want to see which cartoon heroine had the most cleavage showing there are plenty of websites for that. We're celebrating the top 10 Hottest Modest Women. It's those ladies that are truly ladies, who wouldn't be caught dead in anything skin tight or revealing more skin than a tanning convention. These are women of class and substance that just make our hearts flutter. So for your enjoyment, here's who Stephen, Andrew, T.J., and I thought were the top 10 Hottest Modest Women of Geekdom. 

FYI: This list is in no particular order. 

10: Catwoman from The Dark Knight Rises: 

Now there are many incarnations of Catwoman. Not all of them are modest. But I gotta say, Anne Hathaway makes a sleek, hot Catwoman in the promo pics of the The Dark Knight Rises. Personally, Catwoman is probably my favorite Batman antagonist. She definitely can bewitch me. But when I compare Eartha Kitt, Julie Newmar, Lee Merriweather, and Michelle Pfeiffer against Anne Hathaway, I really do see Anne pulling off the vixen quite well. She's got the soothing voice to play the victim-turned-villain. She's got the curves to fit that mostly-tight suit she wears. As much as Catwoman has been my favorite, this is my favorite physical version. Now if the acting holds out. -T.J.

9: Arwen from Lord of the Rings

Arwen is a beautiful half-elf from the Lord of the Rings series. Few people can say that over 2700 years of age, they are still looking as good as they were hundreds of years younger. Her story is equally beautiful. After meeting Aragorn, she decides to sacrifice her own immortality because of her love for him. Her skin is fair and clear. Her raven hair is worn long and loose. At one point, she wears a beautiful gossamer gown that's absolutely gorgeous. –Andrew

8: Jane Lane from Daria: 

Sarcastic, witty, and opinionated, Jane made the perfect best friend to Daria. Not as anti-social as her friend, Jane was willing to give school activities a shot, even if it was just so she could have another chance to make fun of her peers. Her artistic spirit constantly had her exploring new mediums of expression, and she found some handy uses for a hot glue gun. Also unlike Daria, Jane was never afraid to date, but always kept her standards and would never drop them for a boy. Snarky and sarcastic, Jane is definitely a girl you want to have your number. -Joe

7:Felicia Day (Actress - The Guild, Dragon Age: Redemption)

            Alright, I cheated.  All of the women on this list are characters.  None of them are the actors themselves.  But for Felicia, I couldn’t find one of her characters I found particularly attractive while being modest.  Codex is mostly modest but not someone I’m terribly attracted to.  Tallis’s costume isn’t particularly modest or immodest but you would only wear it if you were going to a halloween party or killing someone.  Felicia Day, on the other hand, mostly wears modest clothes in her everyday life and for photoshoots.  She may show off her shoulders here and there but is a comparatively modest celebrity.  What makes her so attractive is her compassion and her authenticity.  When you have this much inner and outer beauty, why show off your skin?-Stephen

6: Hermione Granger, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows (book or movies Parts 1 and 2)

Smart witch with bewitching looks. What else could you want? I mean, she's a strong independent woman that doesn't looks at every situation with a cool head. With all the knowledge gained as the perfect student, she is able to fight with the Dark Lord and his minions. Hermione vs Bellatrix is just awesome. Plus, we're talking about one of the most loyal people to fight against evil. Even though the love of her life was being a douchebag, she stuck up for what was right and helped out her friend. And in the end, she still got the guy she wanted. This proves to me that Hermione has some great worth as a person. Now, as much as Hermione in the books is defined as frumpy and frizzy, Emma Watson does an awesome job at putting life to the character and has her own sense of moral and values that seem to parallel Hermione's quite well. -T.J.

5:  Quistis, from Final Fantasy VIII:

Quistis became an instructor when she was only 17 years old. Later, she is released from her teaching position and starts a friendship with her former students. Smart, calm, and knowledgeable, Questis weilds her chain whip and battle and uses a form of magic that lets her imitate the special abilities of the monsters from her world. Between her teacher's uniform and her battle gear, Quistis dresses modestly and tastefully. She makes glasses look attractive and pulls off wearing leather without turning into some kind of sex symbol. -Andrew

4: Willow Rosenberg from Buffy the Vampire Slayer: 

Willow started the series as that girl in high school who you just can't help but love. She was sweet, kinda innocent, a little bit awkward and a lotta bit nerdy. She always tried to see the positive things no matter how dark things got. She also has the most significant story arch throughout the series, going from quiet computer geek with a crush on her best friend to an extremely powerful lesbian witch, all while maintaining a level of class and taste. She never had an inappropriate outfit, even during her wicked witch period. She was sweet, cute, and fun to hang out with.

3: Annie Edison (Community):

            Annie Edison (played by Alison Brie) of the tv series Community, is--in my opinion--the hottest girl on this list.  Annie is more modest than most Provo girls.  Her personality is pretty neurotic but very sweet and loyal.  Her character may not be on a spaceship or be involved in the supernatural.  What makes Annie so geektastic is her compliance to the characters Troy and Abed in the show.  She’s not only 100% willing to join in their geeky shenanigans but understands them.  She also really knows how to step into a D&D character quite well.  Oh, Annie Edison, if you were a real girl and mormon, I’d so marry you!-Stephen

2: Belle from Beauty and the Beast

Yes, I know she's animated. But we're talking about a beautiful book nerd before it was a popular thing. She wasn't the type of person to flaunt her beauty. She was subtle. If Belle was in a modern day high school, she would not be a cheerleader. She probably wouldn't even be in the popular crowd. I'd bet good money that she'd be a flute player in the orchestra, the one that all the other guys are trying to date and she's saying no to because she has values and morals. Come on, that just made her more attractive. Regardless, we're talking about someone who wasn't just beautiful on the outside, she defined beauty on the inside. We're also talking of one of the few princesses that took time to know her prince before falling in love with him. Before Belle, you have Snow White (love at first sight), Sleeping Beauty (love at first sight), Cinderella (love at first sight), and Ariel (love at first sight). Belle really got to know the beast and was able to fall in love with him because she didn't care about appearances. Someone who looks at the inside of a person is more valuable than someone who looks at appearances alone. (Of course, no matter how I look at it, I'm still most easily compared to LeFou.) -T.J.

1: Kaywinnit “Kaylee” Frye (Firefly, Serenity)

            Deep in space on a firefly class ship known as Serenity is a female mechanic named Kaylee.  Kaylee is an optimistic, bubbly, and fun young woman.  Though she is quite a sensual character she never once ever wears revealing clothing.  What makes her so attractive is not only her personality but how she respects herself.  She wears the practical greasy mechanic jumpsuit despite being a girly girl.  Simon, her love interest, says “I just said that you're pretty. Even when you're covered in engine grease, you're--No, especially, especially when you're covered in engine grease.”  Way to go for being modest and for being yourself Kaylee!-Stephen

Some special mention goes out for some ladies who didn't make the list: Katness Everdeen, Harley Quinn, Black Widow, Seven of Nine, Judzia Dax, and Barbra Gordon. Sorry ladies, maybe next time. 

-Us