10 Shows to Binge With The Family

Have you already worn through everything you wanted to catch up on, but see the quarantine stretching out in front of you like the road to Mordor? Here's 10 shows you can binge watch right now with the family all across the streamingverse.

10: Gargoyles (Disney Plus)

Remember Gargoyles? It's Disney's answer to Batman: The Animated Series. This beloved show is back thanks to Disney Plus, and is just as enjoyable as it always was, with the bonus feature of not having to rush home from school to catch the next episode. The writing is stellar and features half the cast of Star Trek: The Next Generation for some reason, so you know the acting is on point. Show your kids, let them see something amazing that has nothing to do with Fortnite.

9: The Andy Griffith Show (Amazon Prime)

I know I've already talked extensively about this show, but seriously you can't find a better show to binge with the family than The Andy Griffith Show. The jokes are still as relevant as they were when they were first written and the wholesome town of Mayberry is just what we all need in these uncertain times. Bonus points if you can convince your kids that the reason it's not in color is that color wasn't invented until the 50's (My father in law convinced his son that).

8: We Bare Bears (Hulu)

Never heard of this? Then you're welcome. This delightful show features three bear roommates, Ice Bear, Grizzly and Panda as they try to fit into the human world and fail spectacularly. The show has the kind of random sense of humor adults would remember from stuff like Homestar Runner from the ancient days of the internet, and is a delight for all ages.

7: Year Million (Disney Plus)

One of the exclusive treats on Disney Plus, this documentary follows a family living in the hypothetical year million, a time when technology is beyond our imagination. It offers some interesting food for thought on how technology can influence our lives. It's also really neat to see the entire solar system enveloped by a Dyson Sphere.

6: DC Super Hero Girls (Netflix)

A spin off from the online series, DC Super Hero Girls  follows a team of heroes as they navigate high school. The show's vibe is somewhere between the original Teen Titans series and Bugs Bunny, basically what Teen Titans Go should've been but never was. Check it out if your kids are fans of superheroes or strong female protagonists, or just want to watch something funny with heroes.

5: Pokemon: Origins (Amazon Prime)

Completely detached from the story of Ash Ketchum, this miniseries follows the plot of Pokemon Red and Blue, giving us the Pokemon story we always wanted. We see Red go from town to town collecting badges and and Pokemon the same way we did on our old Gameboys. It's the best Pokemon show to come out in years, and I'm including Detective Pikachu and Mewtwo Strikes Back: Remix.

4: Sailor Moon (Hulu)

The original Magical Girl anime, this show really doesn't get its just due. While it does follow a gaggle of school girls, Sailor Moon never gets inappropriate. The campiness of the show is enjoyable to adults and the action and humor appeals to kids of all ages. If you've never seen it now is the chance to give it a try.

3: Our Planet (Netflix)

Another documentary but this one focusing on the natural world we live in with stunning cinematography. It's one of those shows that you stop on while your flipping through the channels and immediately get sucked into learning about elephant migration patterns or the nocturnal party scene of the Mojave desert. It's a good one to snuggle up to and watch while the kids name the animals.

2: Tiny Toon Adventures (Hulu)

Another blast from the past is this classic out of Warner Brothers. A bunch of toons for the next generation (or... our generation...) this show always sparked joy in the hearts of the kids who watched it. Tiny Toon Adventures is just as good as it always was, and will be fun to introduce to the next generation... The one that you made...

1: Scooby Doo Mysteries Incorporated (Netflix)

A modern take on the classic Scooby Doo, this show is more a coherent series than a formula repeated episode after episode. With connecting stories, callbacks to the OG show and references to H.P. Lovecraft, Scooby Doo Mysteries Incorporated is the Scooby Doo we always wanted, and thankfully, completely devoid of Scrappy Doo.

-JOE

How to make a fandom toxic

Ever wonder how so many fandoms get their toxic fan bases? Ever want to feel the rush of superiority knowing you've destroyed beloved characters and stories for someone else? Are you tired of always ending every discussion on a positive note that strengthens your relationships with others and makes you a better person overall? Then here's how to turn your favorite franchise completely toxic for yourself and everyone around you!

For today's example I will be using The Andy Griffith Show. 

1: Always Take Time to Flaunt Your Superior Knowledge

Did someone just misquote Aunt Bee's description of the Nazi tripwires in episode 16: "Barney's Sidecar"? Now is a great opportunity to correct the perpetrator immediately. Make sure they know they're wrong, even if you need to pull out your phone and show them the scene at full volume wherever you are. Remember that as a true fan your duty is to snuff out ignorance wherever it may rear its ugly head. 

2: Seek Out and Destroy Any Fan Art, Fanfiction, and Cosplays that Are Not 100% Accurate to the Source Material

Remember that The Andy Griffith Show's 249 episodes and subsequent spin-offs and movie are all sacred text, and cannot be altered or reinterpreted in any way. The Barney Fife cosplayer doesn't have one bullet in his front shirt pocket? Shame him! That portrait of Opie is missing several freckles? Make sure to dislike their post! Someone wrote a story about how Andy's wife died as a way to express their own grief over the loss of their own parent? Destroy them! Make sure they never want to write anything in public again! How dare they take your fandom and warp it to their own ideals. They have no right to destroy something you love! 

3: Never Let Anyone Have a Different Opinion Than You

Of course Gomer Pyle is the Jar Jar Binks of Mayberry. How could he be anyone's favorite character? The fact that he got his own spin-off means nothing, he's the worst character ever and anyone who disagrees needs to be proven wrong outright. Compile a list of reasons you can pull out that you can go over in detail whenever someone brings up Gomer. If need be have it written down somewhere on your person for reference. Remember you're not being rude or obnoxious, you're educating them on how wrong they are so they can change their favorite character to a more appropriate one. They'll thank you later. 

4: Use Hate Speech When Others Won't Listen

So no matter how hard you've tried, your friend simply will not agree that hands down Otis Campbell is a Shakespearean level tragic figure. He keeps arguing that he is an alcoholic that was sending the wrong message to kids when you know for a fact that he only drank to mask his inner pain. There's only one solution: Start using racial slurs against him. Mock his religion, his family dynamic, sexuality, ethnicity, whatever you can do to make him listen and acknowledge that you're right. If you only know the person by their internet profile, then even better! After all there are no repercussions from internet bullying. People who have their feelings hurt are just weak and shouldn't have played with the big boys in the first place. 

5: Let No Others Enjoy the Fandom Except by the Approved Methods

Anyone who does not own a complete box set of The Andy Griffith Show with audio commentary and interviews from the actors cannot call themselves a true fan. Some filthy casual who only watched the show when they were at home sick or when they hung out with their grandparents can't truly understand the subtle relationships and brilliant humor the show offers. Casuals have no rights to call themselves fans and should feel ashamed for trying to compare their love to your obvious superiority. 

**DISCLAIMER: PLEASE DO NOT TRY ANY OF THESE THINGS AT HOME OR IN PUBLIC. TOXIC FANS ARE WORSE THAN SPACE ANAL PARASITES**

**Also Gomer Pyle is a total gangster and I love him and everything he was in**

*Cue the whistling* The Andy Griffith Show!

I was flipping through Netflix the other day as I usually am when I'm bored and in between video game sessions, when I came across a childhood favorite: The Andy Griffith Show. After explaining to my wife what it was since she hadn't seen it, we watched the pilot episode and found ourselves laughing harder than we had at anything made in the last 10 years in a while.

Plot wise there's barely anything to describe: We follow the adventures of a small town Southern sheriff as he polices Mayberry, the ideal American suburb, and the wacky characters he interacts with on a daily basis. That's it, seriously, if you haven't watched this show that's the main concept. There was no big drama, no wacky mismatch of lifestyles like the Munsters or the usual 50's  style dig at show-business like I Love Lucy, it was just a show about a small town.

I realized as I went back to the Netflix menu that the show seemed so out of place next to my usual viewing habits. The Andy Griffith Show just isn't like BoJack Horseman, Family Guy, Supernatural, or that one weird alien show I turned on the day I wanted to take a nap and wanted some noise in the background. Here we have a show made 60+ years ago, has no sexual innuendo and the closest thing to violence is when the deputy's gun goes off accidentally, and yet it's better written than most anything else on TV.

Why?

I have a theory: As TV evolved more complex storylines and deeper characters were demanded. This demand just kept growing and growing until we reached the point where if you miss one episode of any given show you may as well just give up because without that one piece of context you're going to be lost for the rest of the season. I feel the same concept happened with violence and sexual content, to where we have simultaneously reached a point where most shows have to have one character like Quagmire who's entire purpose in life is to be as inappropriate as possible.

Funnily enough, the Andy Griffith Show reminds me a lot of one modern show, The Walking Dead, mostly because both main characters are soft spoken Southern police officers, but also because for the most part the plots are about how different people get along, albeit one in a far more extreme circumstance (I wonder what Aunt Bea would do during a zombie apocalypse? Probably make them fried chicken...). Why can't we have more shows like that? More shows where it's just about a place and how the people in it interact, but without the sex and violence that give even a jaded childless adult the urge to cover the nearest minor's eyes?

In the end I'm probably part of the real problem. Several paragraphs ago I admitted to having the same trash TV I'm now railing against prominently on my "Recently Watched By Joe" Netflix list, with a long list stacking up behind that. The networks will duplicate what sells, and if that's cartoons made by Seth McFarland


or zombie apocalypse slaughterfests it's because we watch them.

Meh, enough complaining, I'm turning on Andy.

-JOE

What's your favorite classic TV show?

Ten TV shows that need to come back

I was watching one of my favorite internet people yesterday (Click here to check out the video)

and he was talking about ten franchises he’d like to see rebooted. This idea was intriguing to me, considering most of my favorite TV shows are now off the air as well as anything like them. Now I’m not saying these things should be dragged out like the Simpson’s was, I’m just saying that seeing a newer, modern version would probably be better than most of the nonsense flooding the airwaves right now. So I’m going to offer my list (In no particular order) of the top 10 TV shows I’d like to see come back.

10: Star Trek

Yeah yeah I know JJ Abrams is doing a fantastic job with Star Trek in film, but where’s the TV series? Star Trek is more than high-budget graphics and seeing Chris Pine take off his pants, it’s about adventures in space, meeting interesting societies, and boldly going where no one has gone before. Abrams did us a favor in giving us an alternate timeline to work with, so why isn’t anyone working with it?

9: Gargoyles

Does anyone remember this show? It had half the cast of Star Trek: TNG doing voices for it and was Disney’s answer to Batman (We’ll get

to him in a sec.). This cartoon did something most cartoons these days are afraid to do: It gave kids the credit that they could take complex storylines and characters without them needing to be watered down. Gargoyles was a fun, unique show with a great premise with some of my favorite characters growing up. This thing would look so great today!

8: Firefly

Duh.

7: Justice League universe

It started with Batman: The Animated Series, then went into Superman, then Justice League and Justice League Unlimited, with offshoots Static Shock and Batman Beyond to round it off. I know Universe got a bit wonky near the end, especially when it served only to show off obscure DC characte

rs people stopped caring about around the time the Berlin wall fell, but for a minute we had a massive cartoon universe with all the DC characters running around being awesome. What have we got now? DC is releasing YET ANOTHER Batman cartoon. DC, face facts: You’re not going to make anything better than Batman TAS, stop trying to remake him and focus on the rest of your universe.

6: Daria

I have a special place in my heart for Daria. She was kind of the voice of my generation: A disenfranchised youth who just wanted to escape the nonsense of high school and get on with real life.

Daria is one of my first inspirations to become a writer, and her witty sarcasm got me through a lot of hard times in school. I’d love to see her view of the world now, with social media, blogging, and super advanced cell phones… Though I may feel guilty if I end up disappointing my hero.

5: The Andy Griffith Show

Here’s an oldie: A small town cop helping the citizens get out of wacky adventures. If they can’t bring back Andy Griffith, I’d like to see at least SOMETHING come up that’s wholesome for the family to watch. We had Touched By An Angel for a while, but even that got painfully cheesy at times. Right now we have Once Upon A Time, but that thing can make Days of Our Lives look like a simple storyline. What happened to TV you can just watch with your family without a flowchart on hand to understand what’s going on?

4: Ghostbusters

The Ghostbusters cartoon used the movie as a jumping off point to launch into what I feel is the only logical step for the franchise: Having the Ghostbusters go through wacky adventures with ghosts. The show was well written and the dialogue captured the heart of the original four, plus I can’t argue with a show that would shamelessly have someone riding a roller coaster in order to fight Cthuhlu. This cartoon was just beyond awesome and is something else I’d love to see rendered with a touch of the modern.

3: A GOOD Anime

Is there any good anime on right now? When I do flip through the channels I seem to keep finding the latest version of Yu-Gi-Oh! and some knock-off of the same. Where’s Cowboy Bebop? Where’s Fullmetal Alchemist? Whatever happened to that gal who was always with the guy with cat ears? Sure it’s premise was dumb but at least the animation was above par.

2: MST3K

I know Mystery Science Theater 3000 has found new life online supplying audio commentaries to the

masses, but why don’t these people still have a show? MST3K to me was one of the funniest things on TV, and I know that if they brought it back and put it on a channel you don’t have to pay more than your house for, it would get more laughs than How I Met Your Mother, Big Bang Theory or Two and A Half Men combined. In one night. Compared to each of their entire runs.

1: Muppets

The Muppets got their start on TV, first on Sesame Street then on The Muppet Show for several years, and both were delightful. Youtube some of the old skits from the Muppet Show if you don’t know what I mean and I guarantee you’ll fall in love. The Muppets last movie, The Muppets, is about the Muppets returning to their roots, and I think a return to TV would be the next logical step, and I guarantee a massive fan turnout if the trailers featured “Pigs in Space”.