Friday, February 3, 2023

Reaction to DC's Future Announcement

 In all my friend groups, I'm the superhero guy. I used to collect the comics religiously, I've seen all the movies, I know all the lore, I'm the guy that everyone turns to after the after-credits scene and asks to explain who the purple guy is with the glove. So naturally since James Gunn announced what the plans for DC is going to be in the future, multiple friends have turned to me asking my opinion on it. 

Well, let's go through the announcement and go over what they're talking about, shall we? 

Okay I get the need to determine what's set in what universe. Marvel's been very clear about what is and isn't canon where DC has been all over the map with where everything is, so I like this. My worry would be that we get another Ezra Miller situation where a performer can't stay out of the tabloids and they have to recast across multiple platforms, but hopefully DC learned its lesson. 

Shazam and Flash
These have been slated for a while now so I'm glad they're going to use them as part of the reboot, though I wonder how much needed to be changed after the fact in the films to make this happen. But also: WHEN IS SHAZAM GOING TO FIGHT BLACK ADAM?!

Blue Beetle
They've been pushing the new Blue Beetle for years now, which gives me heavy Miles Morales/Spider-Man vibes but not in a good way. Where Miles was received well because he was a version of a popular superhero portrayed by a person of a minority, this is the same thing except: Can anyone whose not a hardcore DC fan tell me who the last Blue Beetle was? Young Justice tried to make the new Blue Beetle interesting but even they've stopped using him. 

Aquaman 2
Let's not even get into the train wrech that's been going on behind the scenes with this one, save to say that if Aquaman 2 is even the least bit coherent I'm going to die of shock. 

Creature Commandos
Are you people serious? We're going to do a comic book from the 80's that was basically Avengers meets Monster High? I guess we haven't learned our lesson from League of Extraordinary Gentlemen that this just doesn't work cinematically because these characters each have such a massive cultural footprint that watering them down for a team is an injustice to them and just creates a massive mess but here we are. 

Viola Davis has been one of the best things about the DC films, so yeah let's keep her rolling around. The Peacemaker franchise is not something I could see letting kids watch so if these guys end up teaming up with Superman down the road they're could be some awkward questions around who these people are and why we care. I'm glad to see Davis coming back though. 

Superman: Legacy
And of course during this part of the presentation they show an image from Superman: All-Stars, the only Superman comic to win any awards in decades. With all the media focused on Superman's kid out I'm betting anything it's going to be a Superman/Superman Jr situation. 

True Detective but with Green Lanterns... I don't even want to imagine what the budget on this thing is, and if the special effects aren't James Cameron's Avatar level it is going to be roasted by every geek in this solar system. Never forget the Green Lantern movie starring Ryan Reynolds and the digital train wreck that thing was. 

The Authority
Hay you know what this franchise needs? Even more unrecognizable characters to clutter everything up! Yaaaay! Seriously though adding these fools in is going to be DC's version of the Eternals mark my words. 

Paradise Lost
Game of Thrones but on Paradise Island... Notice he said the birthplace of Wonder Woman but did not mention Wonder Woman. I'm envisioning Gotham where they kept hinting and foreshadowing at stuff we already know about but ended up becoming a giant teasing waste of time. 

Brave and the Bold
Of course it's about Damien Wayne. You can't do anything without having Damien Wayne crawl out and start talking about how he's an assassin. I'm convinced that the whole Superman's son thing only came about so that Damien could have a playmate. As a Robin he's always been.... A thing... I get why Gunn would love him but I'm not all that excited for yet more Damien Wayne stories. 

Booster Gold
I've got to admit this one actually looks fun since I like Booster Gold and loved the old Justice League: International comics where he hung out. This could be really funny depending on who they cast as Booster and who he has to bounce off of. 

Supergirl: Woman of Tomorrow
Who is this universe for exactly? Marvel succeeded by appealing to young and old alike, but this sounds like a space horror drama and I doubt the year it comes out many little girls are going to want to dress as PTSD riddled depressing Supergirl. 

Swamp Thing
And we round off with, of course, Swamp Thing. Haven't we tried this 2 or 3 times before and it didn't work? Every time there's talk of a new DC anything somebody always mentions bringing Swamp Thing into it and every time they do he's a bust. Put Swamp Thing back in the swamp and leave him alone. 

Obviously besides a couple small sparks I don't have a lot of hope for the DC cinematic future. I want to note though that none of this is from superhero fatigue. I've been binging the X-Men cartoons lately and played Marvel's Midnight Suns all the way through and am still hankering for more, what I'm saying though is that this announcment didn't light my superhero heart ablaze like it should have and I sincerely hope that the more that Gunn promised will do that or else this whole thing is going to be in more trouble than the Justice League can bail them out of. 


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