Opposition [Inside Out] All Things

Movies don't often make me cry. They make me want to cry at times, but it's rare that the tears ever leave my eyes. An exception to this rule was Inside Out, one of the first movies I can remember physically evoking tears from me. However, the sequel had me ugly crying. Something about Riley's need to find friends and not be alone. Something about her panic attack on the ice. Something about Anxiety literally running circles in Riley's mind.

Whatever it was that make me so emotional, Inside Out 2 quickly found its spot close to my heart. So when "Pop Culture on the Apricot Tree" did their episode about the movie, I had to dive in. I mentioned this a little during my interview with Carl on our podcast, but the movie and their podcast episode struck a cord with me that cut deep. Not just because of Riley's panic attack, but also because of the lesson I learned from the Apricot Tree crew.

The unexpected lesson from Anxiety has left me thinking and rewatching this movie. "We don't get to choose who Riley is." Anxiety was echoing a comment from Joy and it hits hard. It'd be nice to think that life and emotions would be all joy, comfort, and straightforward. Life is more complex than that. I swear I can feel Anxiety running around in my head most days, trying to get done everything on my to-do list yet having no energy to do any of it. It's easy to let Anxiety run the show and make it central to how I feel about myself and how my days play out. 

I love that this movie shows just how complex emotions and personality can be. At the end of the movie, we get this line from Joy: "But every bit of Riley makes her who she is, and we love all of our girl. Every messy, beautiful piece of her." What is more affirming than that? It would be nice if life were so simple as to say "I'm a good person" like Riley started out the movie believing. Humans are too complex for that. And that's not just psychology. That's doctrine too.

"For it must needs be, that there is an opposition in all things. If not so, my firstborn in the wilderness, righteousness could not be brought to pass, neither wickedness, neither holiness nor misery, neither good nor bad." (2 Nephi 2:11)

For years I've thought of that verse through the lens of mortality (which is true). Good things happen to us and bad things happen to us. But I think it also accurately describes the human condition. We have the light of Christ (see Moroni 7) but we also have the natural man (see Mosiah 3). We have both sides in us. I have premortal Spencer in my heart but I also have my mortal experiences influencing my development (makes me think of a Once Upon a Time post that Joe did before I joined the team).

All this to say that maybe we all deserve some grace. I don't do a very good job granting myself that gift, but maybe I can start by sharing that grace with others when they make a mistake. I haven't figured out how to get Anxiety to stop running around my console during the day, but maybe I can show Anxiety some kindness in the meantime. Being frustrated with my kids doesn't need to mean I'm a bad father. Running behind at work doesn't mean I'm a bad clinician. My heart hasn't been able to process and understand those complexities.

In the meantime, maybe I'll just keep rewatching Inside Out 2 and maybe with each viewing I'll get better at giving myself grace.

PS: Does anyone else just want to hug Embarrassment every time he appears?