Star Wars Dad Jokes

Last week my newborn turned one-month-old (how did that time pass so quickly?) and I thought the only appropriate thing as a new (again) dad and as a geek was to look up geeky dad jokes. As you check out these Star Wars themed dad jokes, just remember that there are no good dad jokes; only bad dad jokes (that hopefully get an eyeroll from a friend--or your spouse).  

Kenobi Binge List

Less than a month until we get the premiere of Obi-Wan Kenobi. Prequel fans have been itching for more Ewan McGregor in his titular role. I just finished Clone Wars, Rebels, and the original trilogy this year, which makes me extra excited for this series. So if you're itching for some Star Wars in preparation for Kenobi, check out these Obi-Wan stories.

Episode I - The Phantom Menace

Still a Padawan alongside Qui-Gon Jinn, Obi-Wan was sent on a diplomatic mission that didn’t exactly go as planned. You all know the story: rescue on Naboo, stranded on Tatooine, pick up Anakin Skywalker, and cut Darth Maul in half. Despite being the fourth installment of the franchise, this is where our Skywalker Saga (and Kenobi Saga) begins.

Episode II - Attack of the Clones

While his padawan was gone protecting/romancing Padme, Obi-Wan set off after a mystery in this movie. He followed the clues to Kamino, where he met Jango Fett and discovered the clone army, and he followed Fett’s ship to Geonosis. On this barbaric planet, he was sentenced to death by the Separatists alongside Anakin and Padme. With the help of the Jedi and the clones, they fought Count Dooku and escaped. And thus the Clone Wars began…

Star Wars: The Clone Wars

There are plenty of Clone Wars episodes featuring Obi-Wan, but only a handful that focus on him as a main character (as opposed to being along for the ride with the clones). The episodes listed below feature his story arc with Duchess Satine and Darth Maul, but if you want some extra Clone Wars episodes, check out a story about Kenobi’s rivalry with Count Dooku (episodes 1.11-1.12) and with Grievous (episodes 2.09-2.10).

Season 2, Episodes 12-14

This story arc introduces Duchess Satine of Mandalore and Death Watch. With how involved we’ve become with Mandalorians in recent years (i.e. Mandalorian, Book of Boba Fett, Bad Batch, etc.) it’s fun to see where Mandalore started–though I’d love to see more history on the people. This is the first time we see the obvious chemistry and romance between Obi-Wan and Satine, mirroring Anakin and Padme. We see the couple facing off against Death Watch, a Mandalorian terrorist group that’ll come into play later.

Season 4, Episodes 21-22

After his apparent death in The Phantom Menace, we learned that Darth Maul wasn’t killed so easily, as revealed in the Nightsisters arc (episodes 3.12-3.14). These episodes only feature Kenobi lightly, but the story arc sets up Maul’s desire for revenge on Obi-Wan. That’ll be important later. So watch these two episodes to see Savage complete his quest of rescuing the long-lost brother Maul.

Season 5, Episodes 14-16

What better revenge on Obi-Wan than to destroy his heart, Satine? Well, Maul and Savage team up with Death Watch to take control of Mandalore. With Satine in custody after the coup, it’s only natural that General Kenobi would come rescue her. Unfortunately, his rescue attempt doesn’t go as planned. Bring tissues.

Episode III - Revenge of the Sith

The last two times I’ve watched this movie, I’ve interspersed it with the last four episodes of Clone Wars (Episodes 7.09-7.12). For our purposes with Obi-Wan that isn’t entirely necessary (though it is enjoyable). General Kenobi appears briefly in the first two episodes, but the story of Darth Maul continues here from where we left him after Satine’s death. So while Ahsoka took care of him, we had the fall of the Republic in Revenge of the Sith. In the last days of the Clone Wars, Obi-Wan and Anakin take down Dooku and Grievous… only for Palpatine to finally step forward and take young Skywalker as his apprentice. Enter Darth Vader and his massacre of the Jedi Temple. Here we have Order 66 and the genocide of the Jedi Order. And as you know, Ben Kenobi’s story here ends with his fight against Anakin on Mustafar and his choice to go into exile on Tatooine. And that’s where we expect to find him during the Kenobi series.

Star Wars Rebels

Season 3, Episode 20

Rebels might take place after the upcoming Kenobi series, but if you want a little extra Ben Kenobi, I recommend this episode. It brings the Maul/Kenobi conflict to a conclusion (if you want more Darth Maul, just want the whole of Rebels). Without giving too much away, a vision leads Ezra Bridger on a rogue mission, looking for Master Kenobi, despite claims by Senator Organa that he’s dead. We get good interaction with Ben in this episode (Stephen Stanton does an amazing job sounding like the original Obi-Wan, the late Alec Guinness). So check out this story to get some Ben and to see a glimpse of teen Luke Skywalker).

Episode IV-VI - The Original Trilogy

With Princess Leia’s cry for help pulling Ben Kenobi back into action, we get him speeding off Tatooine with Luke, C-3P0, and R2-D2. Roping in smugglers Chewbacca and Han Solo, they get stuck on the Death Star. Here the team rescues Leia and Obi-Wan faces his old pupil, Darth Vader. You know the story, as Ben Kenobi dies and becomes one with the Force. Despite his apparent death, he still manages to come back as a force ghost for years to come.

And now we wait. What are you hoping to see in Kenobi? Personally, I'm hoping to see ghost Qui Gon teach Obi Wan (as was suggested in Revenge of the Sith). Maybe some minor interactions with young Luke (instead of just from a distance). But it's safe to say things won't be simple if Obi-Wan is present. 

Boba Fett Binge List

We're into December, which means we're less than a month until The Book of Boba Fett premieres. I'm working my way through Rebels right now, but I took a moment to rewatch the Mando episodes that included the return of our fan favorite bounty hunter. If you need a refresher on Boba Fett before the new series, check this out.

Episode II - Attack of the Clones

Obviously this is where Boba Fett’s story begins (chronologically at least). We get his backstory: who his father Jango was and  how the clones and Boba came to be. After a fight with Obi Wan, we also saw Boba Fett on Geonosis witnessing the death of his father at the hand of Mace Windu. Talk about an origin story.

Star Wars: The Clone Wars

Season 2, Episodes 20-22

Here we get Boba Fett infiltrating a group of young clones as they’re being trained on a Jedi cruiser. All of it just an elaborate trick on his part to get close enough to Mace Windu to get revenge for killing Jango Fett. But as the trilogy of episodes continues, we see Boba isn’t as ruthless as he thought he’d be. It’s interesting to see a villain so classic to Star Wars question himself like that. 

Season 4, Episode 15

If any Boba Fett story is optional, it’s this one. The episode revolves around Obi Wan. Boba’s appearance amounts to not much more than a cameo. It shows us Boba is still in Republic custody and still angry. 

Season 4, Episode 20

Somehow Boba is out of prison (Maybe he escaped in the same riot as Obi Wan? Maybe he completed his sentence?) and is teaming up with Ventress. The episode focuses more on Ventress and her story arc, with Boba as a supporting character. However, it does establish Boba as a budding bounty hunter in his own right, as we see later on. 

Episode V - The Empire Strikes Back

By the time Luke, Leia, and Han were flying around the galaxy, Boba was a feared bounty hunter. As far as release order, this is the first time we got introduced to Boba Fett. He might be a man of few words in the Original Trilogy, but he left an impression on fans. I mean, he was the only one of Vader’s bounty hunters to successfully track Han and Leia to Cloud City.

Episode VI - Return of the Jedi

So after Boba Fett returns Han Solo to Jabba, he sticks around. Maybe a little too long. If he’d moved onto a new job, he probably wouldn’t have been on Jabba’s party ship. During the ensuing battle aboard said party ship, Han accidentally knocks Boba Fett into the Sarlacc Pit where he was to die. Or so we thought...

The Mandalorian

Season 1, Episode 5

You might only see Boba’s legs in this episode, but it’s the connecting piece between his supposed demise in the Original Trilogy and his full return in The Mandalorian Season 2. This episode also introduced Fennec Shand, who’ll appear in The Book of Boba Fett. If you want more Fennec, you can also check out The Bad Batch “Cornered” and “Bounty Lost”.

Season 2, Episode 1

We only see Boba Fett in the end of the episode for another slightly less brief cameo. But even though we barely even see his face, this is where we see the final fate of the Sarlacc Pit where Boba “died” and it features the return of Boba Fett’s armor (found by Jawas in the previously mentioned Sarlacc Pit). 

Season 2, Episodes 6-8

After getting directions from Ahsoka Tano to find a Jedi for Grogu’s training, Din Djarin (aka Mando) ends up teaming up with Boba and Fennec to protect and subsequently save the child from the Empire. With the help of Cara Dune, Bo Katan, and the other Mandalorians, Mando is able to save Baby Yoda from capture. Boba Fett and Fennec leave moments before Jedi Master Luke Skywalker arrives to claim Grogu as his student. By that point, Boba was probably already halfway to Tatooine where he usurped Jabba’s throne from Bib Fortuna. 

And that is where the Book of Boba Fett begins. So we’ll see where things go. Can’t wait to see more Ming Na Wen… maybe more in the next season of Bad Batch too. 

T.J.'s 10 Summer Movies

It's officially summer...as of Friday...but hey...it was Friday and we don't blog about things like this exactly on time. (Just see Joe's Father's Day post from last week.) Anywho....today, I'm gonna talk about my summer movies. These are movies I like to watch during the summer and more than likely came out sometime during the heat-filled season, which if you know me, is reason to stay inside and watch a movie whilst cranking the AC. And all but one of these fits the sci-fi/fantasy genre.

Note: These are not in any major order. Other than the last 3 are the ones I really enjoy watching during this time of year.

1. Batman & Robin: I don't care what people say about it, I like it. I've heard a lot of complaints about this film. The most common being this: "It wasn't true to the comic books. It was too campy." (Campy is a slang term. I'm using it to mean "a comical take on a serious theme.") Amazingly, that is exactly why I like it. It fits with the 1960s campy television series, which was my first exposure to Batman. The storylines in those shows sucked. But that's not why someone watched. They watched it for the guest stars (I wouldn't have any idea who Burgess Merideth, Cesar Romero, Julie Newmar, or Eartha Kitt were if it weren't for that show). They watched it for the "pow" and "kablooie". And that is exactly what the 1997 Batman & Robin film was: big names and big fights. Arnold Schwarzenegger, Uma Thurmin, Chris O'Donnell, Alicia Silverstone, and George Clooney were all big names in that era. O'Deonnell and Silverstone were just trying to keep their careers alive, imo. But still.

2. Sweet Home Alabama: Here's my one non-sci-fi/fantasy genre. Well, except that one chick has two men who love her at the same time. Generally speaking, that's pretty fantasy. At least in my life, I've never had two chicks going after me. Not that I want to, but it would've been nice to have been that person. Of course, I don't look like Josh Lucas or Patrick Dempsey. And most certainly, I don't look like Reese Witherspoon, whose accent makes her character that much more charming. One of the reasons I like this film is its themes. And a reminder that the South is just...well...it's the South. (Did you know that "baloney cake" is a real thing? Bleh!) FYI, I never noticed the dog on this pic before. That's kinda cool/interesting, random and strangely important.



3. The Princess Bride: As you wish. My wife is one of very few people I know who doesn't like this film. Her reasoning is it was overplayed. I gotta hand it to her, it probably was. But it was a worthy overplay, in my book. When my oldest brother told me he was gonna watch this movie when HBO was airing it one random summer day, I thought he was weird for liking a chick flick. (Like I'm anyone to judge with my enjoyment of "happily ever after.") But as I watched this, I saw that it really tries to have something for everyone. Not only that, but it's got a humorous look at fairy tales in general. Much like the following movie.




4. Shrek: This is the world's most irreverent fairy tale, which is what makes this movie so awesome. I actually can sit and watch Shrek and follow it up with Shrek 2. But I can't do Shrek 3 again. And I've never seen the 4th one. Still, Shrek mocks your average ordinary fairy tale. And yet, it's still a fairy tale in its own right. It's the one that teaches you that loving someone for who they are instead of what they look like is one of the most important things. Also, the irreverent humor makes me laugh. Sometimes, I just need a good laugh.






5. X2: X-Men United: In my opinion, this is the best of the X-Men movies. First Class comes in at a worthy second. I loved this movie enough to see it in theaters three or four times, to buy it the day it came out on DVD, and to watch it so many times, I have its scene structure memorized...maybe. Regardless, this was a proper use of adding extra mutants to the scene without oversaturating them. Nightcrawler and Lady Deathstrike were the biggest additions, while everyone else new was subtle. We were already familiar with Iceman, and Pyro just got a bigger presence. Professor X vs Magneto vs William Striker made for a compelling storyline. And leaving it open for a number three (never mind, they shouldn't have...) was a great ending to the film.

6. Spaceballs: Speaking of sequels, I still hold out hope that Mel Brooks has a secret script stashed away for "Spaceballs 2: The Search For More Money." Without John Candy, may he rest in peace, I suggest John Goodman to take his place as Barf. Of course, the rest of the cast, who are well past their fifties, needs to be replaced. Unless they can do a part 2 well enough. Shoot, Joan Rivers just needs her voice to do her role. Regardless, I love this film for its random break of the 4th wall, mocking sci-fi movies (specifically Star Wars). Not to mention a good-looking princess with a blaster. Oh yeah, and the shwartz. Here's a tidbit for you. It was on this date in 1987 that Spaceballs was released. Happy anniversary Emperor Skroob et al.






7. Independence Day: Yeah, can't go through summer without this blockbuster from the mid-90s. I loved this the first time I watched it. Also, watching The Little Mermaid beforehand, and then this, makes for a humorous moment when the preacher says "Dearly beloved." The rest of the theater didn't get why my brother, his friend, his friend's girlfriend, and I were all busting up at that. But we did. Anyway, this movie was a great sci-fi flick, especially for its decent storyline. Pro: blowing up the White House. Con: killing Lt. Commander Data. Regardless, this is one of those films I can just sit and listen to while doing a puzzle or organizing something.






8. Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home: "Did a little too much LDS." "LDS?" Oh, an awesome Mormon joke. Oh, and don't forget "Hello computer?" *Bones hands Scotty the mouse. "Ah, computer? Hello?" "Just use the keyboard." "Ah, a keyboard, how quaint." Okay, maybe I screwed it up, but it still makes me laugh. One of the reasons I like this movie so much is it's the first Star Trek movie I remember watching. Not only that, it was freshly out on VHS for the first time ever and Star Trek V wasn't even made yet. Yep, I'm that old. Rescuing the whales, not that great of a thing for the movie, but good jab into the politics of whaling at the time.

9. Star Wars: IV-VI: Does this need to be talked about too much? Sure. I'm a classicist. I liked Star Wars when Vader was Vader and not some little kid you knew was destined for evil. Cheesy graphics (or high-tech ones, for the time period) did not trump a decent story. Fight scenes were multi-tiered so as not to be focused on one thing, because usually multiple battles happened at once. I love that aspect of the story. You've got the space fight, the planet-fight, and the good vs evil battle on the death star. Three great events happening at once. Yeah, plenty of movies have this plot device. Shoot, some books do it too. But Star Wars is one that, in my opinion, does it so well and gets its tension to the right spot before moving on to the next one. If I were to watch only 1 of these, though, it'd be episode IV. Why? Because it's a completed story all on its own. Yeah, there's some room for a sequel, but it stands alone well.

10. Star Trek: First Contact: Where Star Trek IV was the first Star Trek movie I watched, First Contact was the first one I saw in theaters. Starting off with the eye (which was somewhat disturbing and cool all at the same time) to the final scenes, I loved this movie and rank it as one of the best in Star Trekness. A few not so exhilarating part don't even detract from the awesomeness that is this film. This was Star Trek at war, something spoken about plenty during The Next Generation's run. The battle on the Enterprise is just awesome and the humor on the surface was well-done. The right characters were in the right places for them to shine. Riker, Geordi, and Troi on the surface with Picard, Data, Crusher, and Worf fighting the Borg.




And there you have it, ten movies (okay, twelve, I cheated) I think are worth viewing in any given summer when it's too hot to do anything (at least for me anyway.)

Alien abductions are involuntary, but probings are scheduled.