Benny "The Jet" Rodriguez and Lessons in Friendship

I love the movie “The Sandlot” and my wife will attest to my, sometimes annoying, ability to quote it. It tells the story of Scott Smalls who moves into a new neighborhood and while initially having difficulty making friends, eventually finds friendship through playing baseball together with other boys at the sandlot. Though all of the boys initially laugh at him and make fun of his clothes and lack of athletic ability, Scott or “Smalls” as he comes to be known, finds a true friend in Benny, the best player among all involved at the sandlot. He invites Smalls to play and while Smalls initially says no out of embarrassment, Benny cuts through the excuses and invites him to play. He stands up to the other boys and even teaches Smalls how to throw and catch a baseball. Then Benny proceeds to save Smalls from the “biggest pickle any of us had every been in,” namely, getting the signed Babe Ruth ball back from the Beast.

 I guess what struck me in the most recent watching of this film was how resigned Smalls was to his self imposed loner status. He tells his mom at one point, “face it mom, I’m just an egg head.” There is a sense of defeatism that Smalls feels. He is smart, he is creative, (his erector set models are incredible) but because of his lack of friends and awkwardness and embarrassment in playing baseball, he resigns himself to being a loner. Now, I am not saying that being on your own is wrong but I think everyone needs a friend, someone to push them when they need pushing, stop them when the need stopping, and encouraging when they need encouraging. Benny was that friend to Smalls. Smalls showed up and showed he wanted to fit in and have friends but when the taunting and embarrassment became too much, he was ready to give up. But not Benny. He took time to help Smalls. He tells Smalls, “you think too much. Baseball is about having fun.” What a difference this makes for Smalls. He goes from zero friend prospects to a full baseball team because of Benny being willing to reach out to help Smalls fit in.

What about us? When have you been the “Benny” to a “Smalls”? Or who has been your “Benny” when you felt like giving up, leaving early, or not showing up for an activity, event, meeting, game, or service project? I’ve shared before a favorite quote from the movie, “It’s a Wonderful Life,” “No man is a failure who has friends.” Benny made sure that Smalls wasn’t a failure. Who can be that for or who is helping you feel that way now?

If you cannot thing of anyone, please remember this teaching from Elder Buckner of the seventy in October 2024: 

“In December of 1832, as “appearances of troubles among the nations” were becoming “more visible” than at any time since the organization of the Church, Latter-day Saint leaders in Kirtland, Ohio, gathered for a conference. They prayed “separately and vocally to the Lord to reveal his will unto [them].” In acknowledgement of the prayers of these faithful members during times of intense trouble, the Lord comforted them, addressing the Saints three times with two powerful words: ‘my friends.’”

The Savior is our greatest friend. He comforts when we need comforts but He also encourages and pushes us beyond what we think we can do. He is your best friend, so you are not a failure.

More Content You Might Like:

• "Conventions are Better with a Friend" by Spencer
• "Potter and Friends" by Russell
• "Friendship Lessons" by Russell

Thunderbolts: What About Bob?

I finally watched Thunderbolts (only took me a year) Cause I worked my way, preparing for Doomsday. I can see why it was such a big hit. I love a good story about a group of underdogs and "small and simple things". Not only did we get more of Bucky, Yelena, and Alexei, but we got introduced to a brand new star: Bob.

Bob's backstory is pretty crazy: abuse, drug addiction, and other mental health issues. No matter where you are on the spectrum of mental health, there's something relatable in Bob. One line in particular hit hard from Void, his dark alter ego: "You can't outrun the emptiness."

As someone who has struggled with mental health and self-esteem for most of his life, this and other lines from Void resonated. And it resonated with Yelena too. Throughout the movie, Yelena felt doubts and emptiness. Though her life was full of trauma, manipulation, and abuse, she longed for something more than being Valentina's pawn. 

All of us have a past and we've made mistakes. That's a fact of the gospel. That's why the Savior gave Himself and performed the Atonement. The lies of the enemy hit like the Void. “The most shameful thing of all was thinking that you could be anything more than nothing.”

The adversary would love for you to be alone. But we are never alone. That's hard for me to believe in the moment, but this movie was a good reminder. The temptation is to hide and mask and pretend that everything is okay. Constantly. Yelena said it wonderfully in Thunderbolts: "You can't stuff it down. You can't hold it in all alone. No one can. We have to let it out. We have to spend time together. And even if it doesn't make the emptiness go away, I promise it will feel lighter."

As Elder Gong said in the October 2025 General Conference, "On the dusty roads to Jericho, each of us has been laughed at, embarrassed and hurt, perhaps scorned or abused. And with varying degrees of intent, each of us has also disregarded, not seen or heard, perhaps deliberately hurt others. It is precisely because we have been hurt and have hurt others that Jesus Christ brings us all to His inn. In His Church and through His ordinances and covenants, we come to each other and to Jesus Christ. We love and are loved, serve and are served, forgive and are forgiven."

It wasn't until the Thunderbolts worked their way out of the Void together that they were strong. It's hard to remember (trust me) but life is so much lighter when we live it together. It won't take away the emptiness--we live in a fallen world after all. But Elder Gong also said, "In His restored Church, we are all better when no one sits alone. Let us not simply accommodate or tolerate. Let us genuinely welcome, acknowledge, minister to, love. May each friend, sister, brother not be a foreigner or stranger but a child at home."

So what about Bob?

Just as he and the Thunderbolts learned, we are meant to live this life together.

More Content You Might Like:

• "Mr. Fantastic Knows Nothing… Welcome to Parenting" by Spencer
• "A Daredevil Devotional: Being Born Again" by Ben
  
• "Captain Marvel is a Disney Princess (Like It or Not)" by Spencer

Mischief Managed - My Riddikulus Experience at the Dallas Fan Expo

(Guest post by Curtis)

I believe in the Holy Trinity of nerdism: 1) Star Wars, 2) Lord of the Rings, and 3) Harry Potter (my favorite being #3). Marvel is up there too, and if they can keep up the renewed momentum after Thunderbolts*, we might see somebody get overthrown. All this to say that I’m a huge movie nerd that likes to delve into deep lore, occasionally.

So naturally, when I heard some friends talk about going to this year’s Dallas Fan Expo, I would’ve used one of the 3 Unforgivable Curses on someone to be able to tag along. And man, was it the experience of a lifetime! Not only was the overall energy more illuminating than the tip of a wizard’s wand, but the fact that I was among so many fellow nerds of different factions (Potterheads, Trekkies, D&Ders, Middle-Earthlings, and more) reminded me that we’re all just as misunderstood creatures as spiders and dragons are.

But what made my first Comic-Con experience truly un-obliviate-able was the friends that came with me. And I not only left with a new wand to add to my growing collection, but with some newfound friends as well! 

Even though I was only able to stay for a couple hours, during that time we saw some legendary cosplay costumes, incredibly detailed memorabilia and replicas, extremely rare comics and famous celebrities that left me absolutely stupefied! If I had a time-turner, I’d spin that thing all day long just so I could relive what I witnessed and see everything I missed! 

To Harry, Hogwarts served as a reprieve; a glimpse of joy, purpose and belonging in a muggle world that, without his experience there, would have left him to live a miserable life in the cupboard at No. 4 Privet Drive. This probably explains my micro-experience at the Expo best. Though I’m sure my feet are too big to fit under any staircase, my soul has always longed for a truly magical, fun and welcoming relief from the world that has been my life lately. 

With that, what could be a better subtitle for this blog post than “My Riddikulus Experience at the Dallas Fan Expo”? If anything can take life’s moments of fear or darkness and turn them into joy, laughter and hope, it’s the magic of surrounding yourself with like-minded friends and savoring their company! 

So here’s my closing challenge to the dozens of people reading this: if an owl ever drops a letter off at your doorstep (meaning, if you ever have the opportunity) inviting you to go to your next local Comic-Con event - just go! I’d even invite some of those pesky death-eaters in your life. Who knows? Maybe they’ll finally see the light!

Mischief managed - Nox!

Conventions are Better with a Friend

"Am I getting lame or are Cons getting lame?"

I sent that question to a friend as I wandered the floor of Fan Expo Dallas last Friday. It's been two years since my last Fan Expo and last time I struggled with heightened anxiety at the convention center. Still, I love cosplaying and I love the merchandise and the artwork... so I want to continue loving Comic Cons. But this Fan Expo didn't have any celebrities I was excited to see (and that I could afford), so celebrity meet-and-greets and celebrity panels weren't appealing. Since only one of my friends could come on Friday night, that first lap through the convention floor ended up being solo.

But then I met up with that friend and a few others on Saturday. Sometimes I like to think I'm introverted and would much rather keep to myself at an event like Fan Expo, especially when the atmosphere can be overstimulating at times. However, during the time I spent with friends at the Con on Friday and Saturday, I realized the social aspect is what I like most about the event. 

On Saturday morning I took to walking the floor with a friend who had never been to a convention before. We chatted and caught up (since we hadn't hung out since last summer) while I looked for a potential souvenir from Fan Expo (I ended up picking a Newt Scamander wand for my cosplay, since my kids broke my old generic wand). Seeing a convention through the eyes of a newbie is always refreshing, especially when buying all the great artwork isn't practical.

With a new job this year and my kids getting more and more interactive and hyperactive, it's been hard to get together for some guy time. I managed a trip to the temple earlier in May, but before that it had been months since our group got together. Even when it wasn't about the convention and I was just chatting with my buddies, it was enriching. Like my favorite YSA bishop once told me, the scriptural assertion that "It is not good that the man should be alone" applies to more than just marriage. It's healthy for men and women to have other friends besides their eternal companion... but in our modern world sometimes it takes extra effort to get together and connect. 

I still enjoy cosplaying for an event (I lost track of how many people commented on my Perry the Platypus that pulled my Phineas cosplay together). I love scoping out artist alley for the future date that I have a man-cave to decorate. And when there's a celebrity I love, I'm still giddy to meet them. But enjoying the cosplay, the art, or the meet-and-greets with a friend changes the experience. It's also not a bad place to make a new friend (that's how I met Zack and Jacob Smith).

So next time an event comes around, grab a friend and bring them with you. Just like mortality in general, it's better to go with someone. Make a friend or bring a friend. Your mental health and your Comic Con experience will thank you!

IF & HG

 I write this as I’ve just watched the movie “IF” for the first time while flying on an airplane for my wife and my first trip away from our daughter. Yep, I cried. No helping it. Just could not hold it in. I loved that John Krasinski directed it and loved that the actress who played Mrs. Dursley in Harry Potter was the Grandma in “IF”. Such a lovely story about imaginary friends (IFs) and the role they have in helping their children even when the children are grown up. 

The story revolves around Elizabeth, who goes by Bea as she experiences the loss of her mother as well as the pending surgery for her father. Lots of an emotions for a 12 year old girl to go through. A big take away for me is that kids need their parents and kids need their imagination even if it is not an imaginary friend. 

Perhaps the imaginary friends could be representative of the Holy Ghost and how we need his influence and guidance throughout our lives. As a comforter, as a guide, and a teacher. It reminds me of Elder Bednar’s talk about receiving the Holy Ghost where he shares that this is an invitation that, for me, is a lifelong quest. While I don’t see the Holy Ghost, I know he is very real and I know that I need his influence every day, much like the grown ups in “IF” still need their imaginary friends at every stage of their lives.

Farmer vs. Cowman

Growing up, I recall watching the film version of “Oklahoma” a number of times. I have thought recently about a song from this musical titled, “The Farmer and the Cowman should be Friends.” The application to our day is apparent to me in that it is a song about people from different walks of life learning to get along. Be it different political parties, teams we root for, religions, or ideas about which Star Trek captain is best, there are a lot of opinions to go around. But, to quote the aforementioned song, “that’s no reason why [we] can’t be friends.” 

When I lived in Utah, there was often a letter shared in sacrament meeting around the time that elections were being held that I will paraphrase here: there is good to be found in all political parties. 

I am a sports fan and while I am bummed when the team I root for loses, I can also appreciate the talent of players on the opposing team. 

I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and I admire the way that Muslims, Jews, Buddists, Protestants, Jehovah’s Witnesses, Catholics, and many others worship.

As for which Star Trek captain is best, I think I like them all in their own way. (Perhaps a bit too diplomatic, but I take that as my prerogative in authoring this post)

  My point in writing these thoughts down is to encourage more dialogue and less dismissal. I know there are things I do not agree with others on but that does not mean I have to be disagreeable. I know how much I have been helped and continue to be helped by others. I know that I will continue to need help along my life’s journey. 

I think Joseph Smith summed it up nicely in the following quote from 1843:

“The Saints can testify whether I am willing to lay down my life for my brethren. If it has been demonstrated that I have been willing to die for a ‘Mormon.’ I am bold to declare before Heaven that I am just as ready to die in defending the rights of a Presbyterian, a Baptist, or a good man of any other denomination; for the same principle which would trample upon the rights of the Latter-day Saints would trample upon the rights of the Roman Catholics, or of any other denomination who may be unpopular and too weak to defend themselves.”

I sure do hope this is helpful on some level. I saw an applicable lesson in this song from my childhood and wanted to both share the song and the message I thought could be found in it.

Potter and Friends

 I’m coming clean here. In a post I wrote about lessons about friendships, I left out the line that first sparked the post in the first place! I had just begun re listening to the Harry Potter series and while I hadn’t reached this part yet, I was thinking about Dumbledore’s words about Neville standing up to his friends "It takes a great deal of bravery to stand up to our enemies, but just as much to stand up to our friends." This sparked the idea of some of the other friend quotes I used in the post, but I completely forgot about the Neville one!! 

Then while doing the dishes, I thought about another Harry Potter friend quote from Luna. Ok, it’s not a quote per se but it is about friends. When Harry, Ron, and Hermione visit Xenophilius Lovegood, Harry enters Luna’s room and finds names written on her wall/ceiling with the words “friends” making up the lettering from their names. 

I love seeing how Neville and Luna develop as characters in the Harry Potter series and love seeing how they become friends with other characters in the books. I have often thought that I would love to see spin off books about them but I’ll settle for what we have for now. 

Harry, Neville, and Luna all have similarities that were not apparent to me until recently. Harry’s  parents died and he was raised by relatives who hated him. Neville’s parents lived but their minds were so addled that he had to be raised by his Gran who loves him, despite being harsh at times. Luna’s mother died and her father seems to have some rather odd ideas, which may or may not have been the result of losing his wife, so Luna is left to develop similar oddities and risks being an outcast and loner for her life. But all three are able to find strength and skill through their experiences at Hogwarts and beyond. Together with Ron, Hermoine, Ginny, and others they form friendships that allow them to save one another and the greater Wizarding World at large. 

Now, I can not say whether the friendships I form will have the same global reach, but as I have written before, the Savior is our friend and with Him as our advocate and friend, our world can and will be changed

Friendship Lessons

    

         Recently, I have been thinking about lessons about friends from movies and songs. I cannot point to why this has been on my mind, but it has sparked this blog post, so we’ll see what insights I can share. Thank you for being a friend!

I recall a book I gifted my brother called Surround Yourself With Greatness by former BYU and NFL tight end, Chad Lewis. I might have read the intro but that’s all. I do remember Chad speaking about the book with a reporter once and what he shared has stuck with me. In summarizing what the book was about, he said something to the effect that you are what you surround yourself with. If you surround yourself with skunks, you are going to stink. If you surround yourself with people who are great, you will be great. I have heard John Bytheway refer to a similar idea which he calls "The Parable of the Marinade". Friends have a big influence on this and so it can be important what friends you choose. 

I have been blessed with friends throughout my life, but perhaps the most important thing I have learned about friendship is the importance of being a good friend. I do not have a perfect answer about what being a “good” friend means, but I hope to share a few insights that I have received from some of my favorite “friend” lines from movies.

“You’ve got a friend in me” from “Toy Story.” 

Andy’s interaction with his toys is a nostalgic look at what playing with toys can be. Add to the fact that the toys can come to life and are looking out for Andy and the journey that Woody and Buzz go on to becoming friends and it is a great friend journey. This line from this song is a good summary of what we want in a friend, someone to rely on.

“Never had a friend like me” from “Aladdin.” 

Robin Williams’ performance was spot on with this song and the message is one that I think I can see in the friends that I have. While there may be similarities in the friends that I have, each is unique and brings different strengths and to the proverbial table, providing me the opportunity to learn from each of them

“No man is a failure who has friends” from “It’s a Wonderful Life.” 

This message is written on Clarence’s copy of The Adventures of Tom Sawyer which he gifts to George Bailey at the end of the film. In the context of what Jesus told early leaders of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in Doctrine and Covenants 88:117, “ye are my friends,” I think this means that no one on earth is a failure because Jesus is our friend. Elder Buckner spoke in greater detail about this scripture in the October 2024 General Conference. 

Now, I know this is not a comprehensive list of all the friends’ examples that are out there, but I hope it can be a good start to reminding us all the importance of being a good friend, being grateful for our friends, and always remembering that the Savior is our greatest friend. 

Moana 2 Goes "Beyond" with 3 Spiritual Lessons

Last month, we took our five-year-old to see Moana 2 for her birthday. It was her first time at the movie theater and if her hanging off the handrail (like Moana hanging on the boat) is any indication, she loved the movie. Sequels are always hit and miss and while I can't pinpoint if I liked Moana 2 more or less than the original, but it resonated with me and hit me hard in the feels.

Spoilers ahead.

My 5-year-old was literally hanging onto the railing like this.

Going Beyond

Shortly after finding "Beyond" on Spotify, I shared my initial impressions about the song on the podcast. I went into the movie without much context for the song and was kind of worried that the context of the movie might change the song for me. Not so. 

With Moana going further than her ancestors had gone before, she risks never returning to her sister and she has to face fears she didn't know she had. Like her grandmother's spirit tells her in the movie, three years after her initial voyage with Maui, she knows what she has to lose now. This (the song and movie) all happened as I accepted and prepared for a new job. I was at my last job for over three years (not unlike Moana 2 taking place three years after the original).

Going beyond what's known or familiar is scary. I started my new job last week and I'm reminded how much I struggle with change--even when I know it's the right move. It's a good thing that my daughter loves "Beyond" so much because I've been using it as my anthem to give me strength when I feel too stressed or intimidated by all the changes. The fear is still there and there have been plenty of tears (the movie made my wife and I both cry) but there is resolve. 

I loved seeing other ancestors, like Tautai, as animal spirits.

Isolation

I tried to find the exact quote but couldn't, so I'll have to paraphrase. When the spirit of Tautai Vasa appeared to Moana to set off the adventure, he told Moana that isolation would be the end of their story. That's why the journey in Moana 2 was so important... Nalo had separated the peoples of the ocean and kept them isolated for generations. To join together and to grow together would mean life for Moana's people.

Similarly, the adversary often tries to keep us in isolation. Through sin, addiction, mental health struggles, or whatever else he can use against us, Satan wants us to stay isolated because he knows that's how our stories end. Before I met my wife, I thought of abandoning roommate life and living by myself. A wise bishop reminded me that "it is not good for man to be alone" (Genesis 2:18) and while that scripture is directly related to Adam's need for Eve, I've never forgotten how it applied to me. Sure, some people thrive living on their own, but I think that bishop knew me well enough to know that I'd end up isolated.

We need other people in our stories. That's why we have families. That's why we have the Church. And I can tell you the difference it makes for me when I reach out and actively avoid isolation (and I can "isolate" even when I'm surrounded by family, coworkers, patients, etc.). Even just in my first week, I noticed the difference I felt mentally and emotionally when I tried connecting with patients and coworkers, instead of letting myself drift into the background because I'm new and insecure. So while there's something to be said for "me time", nothing good comes from isolation. 

Getting Lost

I'm the type of person who likes to know what to expect and to have a certain amount of structure in my day. Even on a day off, I like to have a certain amount of plan to optimize my self-care (if that's even possible). Part of going "beyond" has meant having no clue what to expect in my new job and the new year. It's meant trusting in the Spirit's guidance as I figure life out day by day. 

While on the surface it sounded like a classic villain song, Matangi's "Get Lost" can be encouraging. Though it sounded like she was manipulating Moana, her advice was not unfounded. Despite my wish to have a clear path, my life has never played out like that. Sometimes the best advice really is to "get lost" and try something unexpected. Combine that advice with Anna's "The Next Right Thing" and it can be helpful in getting out of the rut I feel when stressors feel too heavy to carry. 

I could have a perfect to-do list and plan to get everything done and check all the boxes. Sometimes the best thing to do is go with the flow and "get lost". I don't know. I'm still figuring that one out, but in the movie Moana thought she knew exactly what to do or what she was supposed to do. And while Matangi's song sounded manipulative, it showed Moana how to get out of her own way so that she could rescue her crew (and Maui) and save her people.

"Beyond" These Lessons

I feel like I could keep saying more and more about this movie and the lessons I've learned from it and the songs. There are themes throughout the movie pointing towards identity, community, leadership, diversity, and self-confidence. I'll certainly watch it again after it hits Disney Plus (and I'm sure my daughter hanging off the couch this time) so don't be surprised if there's more Moana content from me in the future. Just like the credit scene setting up another sequel or Disney Plus series, there's more to come here.

How Dungeons and Dragons helped my Elder’s Quorum

When my friend in the ward asked if I wanted to play Dungeons and Dragons with him, I told him a whole hearted “No way.” For some reason that was a line I’d drawn in the sand, despite flying the Nerd flag for most of my life. I think part of me was afraid that I’d like it too much. He kept asking until he eventually just planned a session and invited some men from the ward over. A few of them had played before, but most hadn’t. It took us a while to start to figure things out—The rules, the puzzles, just really how to play, how to understand what was happening in D&D Beyond, but we started having fun right from the start.

And now I sit with them, looking forward to it each time: A Rogue that is completely unpredictable in every way who sold his from the ground up business, a gnome who asks the right question at the right time that also knows how to fly planes, a DM that’s a Vice President, that one Paladin that was definitely somehow evil who does... well he recently switched jobs so I don't know what he does anymore.

Can I regale you about the time the rogue decided to free some giant weasels from a fire? Because they deserved to live, I guess. Nobody else thought so by the way they were snarling at us. The guy decides to jump over the fence (which he does with flying colors), then to do a flip over the weasels to open the gate on the other side with his sword. His roll isn’t so good the next time, and he falls in the flames catching his cloak on fire. He still managed to get the gate open, being on fire and all. I mean, that’s commitment, especially when I’m the one that set that imaginary fire… I mean, those things would for sure have attacked me. Wizards are squishy, too.

When people ask me about DnD, I like to tell them “Imagine sitting around a table and laughing with your friends for a few hours.” That’s what we did, once every other month or so. And guess what happened? We became friends. Not just the friends that say “Hi” in the hallway at church, but the friends that actually know each other.

I can’t tell you how many wards I’ve been in where I’ve heard men (and women) say “I just don’t have any friends in the ward.” Now, I know this isn’t everyone’s situation, but in a church where mom’s often stay home with kids and father’s go off to work, it’s sometimes hard for men to find time to make friends. But for my quorum, this little group found them because one guy wanted to do something fun. Thanks to him, I’ve crossed that line in the sand, then gone back and blew it up with a fireball because that's what good Wizards do.

 - Garrett

Luca: A Celebration of Friendship

(Guest post by Stephen)

"You and me, we can do anything!"

– Alberto, in Disney/Pixar's Luca

I have been eagerly anticipating Pixar's Luca for months, and was really excited when I finally got to watch it. My only complaint was that they didn't release the movie to theaters. It's only available on Disney+, but I would have loved to see it on the big screen. The film did not disappoint. But first, I want to share some background about why I was so excited.

A few years ago, I was at a men's retreat, face-to-face with another man, and was asked to say to him what I felt as I looked at him. My answer surprised even me: "I just want him to be my friend," I said. Then I broke down in tears.

For many years I avoided forming any close relationship with other men. I had a deep-set fear that my desires for connection with other men would be perceived as childish or unmanly, that people would think I was gay, or that perhaps it meant that I actually was gay. I was also afraid that I would be treated poorly, made fun of, or hurt. I don't think I'm alone in these fears. In fact, a researcher at NYU, Niobe Way, has documented how similar fears lead boys to become emotionally stoic and isolated. It seems to be a common cultural belief that men shouldn't or even can't form close friendships, but I have learned from personal experience that it doesn't have to be this way.

"Men are fully capable of connecting deeply with other people – some just need to relearn how to do it."

– Kim Evensen, Brothers

Deep, authentic friendships are necessary and needed for everyone in this world, including men. They provide an important piece of support as we experience difficult trials in our lives. The lack of such friendships is literally killing men, as loneliness and suicide among men has become epidemic.

It took me a long time to realize that not only does my desire for deep connection mean nothing more than wanting friendship, a normal human need, but that I can have that kind of friendship if I work at it. I have worked to create and foster multiple friendships over the last few years, and those friendships have truly been a lifeline to me. I can't imagine going back to the isolation in which I used to live.

This lack of societal sanction of deep friendships between men is why I've been so excited about the release of Luca. From the trailers and the interviews leading up to the movie's release, it has been clear that the film focuses on the beauty of friendship.

Pixar's Luca celebrates friendships. Luca and Alberto, two sea-monsters whose bodies transform to appear human on land, become fast friends. They push each other to try new things and get out of their comfort zones. Their friendship develops into something truly beautiful as they share their fears with each other, support each other, show affection to each other, and even have deep disagreements. The film is a journey in the authentic formation and expression of friendship.

I won't spoil the movie for you, but make sure you don't miss the end scene. It beautifully paints the deep love that two friends can have for each other. We need more of this love – and the expression of it – in our society. Luca is a masterclass in what that can look like.

For a different take on the messages in Luca, see here. 

Why Boy Meets World is Still Relevant

My wife and I are finishing up a re-watch of Girl Meets World. Every time we watch, we naturally have the desire to re-watch Boy Meets World as well. It’s been over 20 years since the show ended and yet it still remains just as poignant as ever. The technology and the pop culture references might be a bit dated (read: nostalgic) but the stories hold up over time. So let’s talk about those for a second.

Discrimination

Early on in the series, Cory made a bet with Feeny that he could be a better teacher. It was a simple idea meant to teach Cory a lesson, but it got real fast when Eric’s friend was hurt by a racial slur. The incident impacted how Cory went on to teach about Anne Frank. What a way to teach 6th graders about racism and discrimination. As a white male, I can’t say I’ve ever really been discriminated against, but this episode hits me every time. I can’t put into words how real this made things for me. So give “Teacher’s Bet” a watch to see how Cory handled it all.

Boundaries 

A couple episodes in the series really hit hard about appropriate boundaries and expectations for interacting with other people (particularly members of the opposite sex). The first happened in “Chick Like Me” when Shawn had a rude awakening to his own faults, when (dressed up as a girl) he felt pressured beyond his comfort when a boy made a pass at him. The second episode happened later on in Cory’s college years during “Everybody Loves Stuart” when a young college professor tried to push boundaries with Topanga, making her feel unsafe. With sexual assault being a devastating issue these days (I swear it's worse and worse as the years pass), it’s important to understand boundaries and to teach it on a teen show back in the late nineties blows me away. (Also, you need to watch Cory throw a punch at Stuart in that episode (played by his real life brother, Fred Savage)

The Family We Choose

I came from a good family with reliable, loving parents. Unfortunately, not everyone does. Shawn was one of those unfortunate cases, leaving him feeling like he didn’t belong anywhere. In “Cult Fiction”, this feeling took Shawn to the arms of a Mr. Mack and his “Centre”. We don’t know exactly what kind of financial, emotional, or physical way Mr. Mack was using Shawn, but it was clear that Turner, Feeny, and the Matthews had reason not to trust him. It was in episodes like this that Shawn was able to get a glimpse into which relationships really mattered to him. Even though he didn’t have a reliable set of parents, he chose to make the Matthews and Mr. Turner into his family. A lesson that would go with him into Girl Meets World when he befriended and mentored Maya.

Abuse

So I talked about boundaries already, but Boy Meets World also tackled the idea of abuse. In “Dangerous Secret” Shawn found out that his friend Claire was being physically abused by her father. Like many abuse victims, she didn’t want to report her dad at first and just focused on getting her a safe place to sleep each night. But for the other teens, what to do? Call the cops? Put her on a bus? The episode had a happy ending, but it posed many questions that you wouldn’t have expected teenagers to have to consider. Domestic abuse still happens twenty years later, but knowing how to respond is the first step.

Sex

The show did a fantastic job portraying various aspects of romantic relationships. As the teens figured out dating, high school, college, and marriage, it was natural for the subject of sex to come up over the years. In “Dangerous Secret” after misunderstanding Shawn’s relationship with Claire, Cory acted almost as though Topanga owed him sex. Big no no. Later on, in “Prom-ises, Prom-ises”, we got the consequence of (possibly) unprotected sex when Amy and Alan discovered they were pregnant again. The reveal of which taught Cory and Topanga some self-restraint and responsibility. The way this show talked about sex was done in a respectful way that I don’t feel like happens anymore. And I didn't even dig into that time when everyone thought Cory slept with Topanga in the computer lab.

Like I said before, I’m looking forward to re-watching Boy Meets World. It’s one of those shows that has aged so well that it’s still worth watching and re-watching twenty years later. Not the case with every show. I guess we’re all meeting the world when we watch it.

"Boy Meets World... Now I get it."