The Other Mother: The Main Reason this Kids’ Movie Terrifies People

Coraline (2009) is considered to be somewhere between a kids movie and a horror movie. I found it in my late 20s and became totally enamored with it. The stop motion animation sings with Coraline’s every facial expression. The writing, acting, camera work and editing all work together to create seamless, and compelling storytelling from beginning to end. You may not be a fan of stop motion or of horror movies, but I do recommend Coraline, because it challenges us to find meaning in reality as it is, instead of becoming lost in a dream-world of empty gratification.

Coraline is a young girl who moves with her parents from Michigan to Oregon. As she wanders around her apartment and the surrounding forest, she finds a strange cat, an awkward neighbor boy, an old well, and a tiny locked door, concealed behind wallpaper in the living room of their new apartment. In her boredom and frustration with her parents, she begs her mom to open the tiny door, but finds only a solid brick wall behind. But later, she follows an enchanted mouse back to the door in the middle of the night, and finds instead a tunnel to another world like her own, but somehow perfect. Everything there, including the neighbor boy and even her parents seem to live and breathe for her, and know and capable of giving her just what she wants.

But Coraline discovers this “other” world is too good to be true, and fights to save herself from the evil creature at the center of the Other world. Little hints along the way reveal the sinister intent behind all the perfect veneer on top of the Other Mother's world.

Coraline: “You’re my other mother."

Other Mother: "Your better mother, dear.”

The Other mother not only believes her version of reality is better, she presumes that she is the better mother.

Other Father: “So sharp, you won’t feel a thing."

The other Father lets slip the reality behind the other Mother’s evil intentions in a few key moments. This one happens when the Other Mother present Coraline with a gift box containing a needle, thread, and a pair of black buttons, ready to be sewn in place of her eyes, just like every other person in the Other World.

“He pulled a long face, and mother didn’t like it.”

• the Other Father

  
  

When Coraline asks why the other Neighbor boy, Wybie, doesn’t speak, the Other father explains the Other Mother sewed his lips shut to both keep him silent, and freeze his lips in a grotesque smile.

“They say even the proudest spirit can be broken… with love.”

• the Other Mother

  
  

Russ Harris talks about negative control strategies in his book, “The Happiness Trap.” These strategies are unhealthy methods we tend to believe can eliminate negative thoughts, for example, or force us to be happy. The Other Mother is not only a deceptive manipulator, but she tells Coraline the only way she can be happy is with her, in a world where Coraline does not need to worry about boredom, or parents that can never listen. or pay her enough attention. Coraline fights to escape the Other Mother’s web of traps to stay with her real parents, because it became clear the Other Mother’s offer was a hollow disguise for her desire to swallow Coraline up, as she had three children in the past.

By the end of the movie we have not only seen Coraline escape a horrifying kidnapping, but we have seen her grow from a moping kid to someone capable of quick thinking in life-threatening moments. Rather than accept the Other Mother's invitation to escape the real world, she accepts things as they are, and winds up finding joy in her new home.

She also becomes more responsible and considerate to her parents and neighbors. Her real world family and neighbors are all lovable oddballs who make strange companions for a young girl, but compared to an interdimensional, needle-spider woman capable of fabricating a life-sized replica of a child's dream-world, the oddballs' real-life warmth and authenticity are shockingly refreshing. The Other Mother's hideous transformation at the end reveals that there are much worse things than a boring, mundane life.

But do we still secretly wish for the greener grass? Would we be trapped by the Other Mother’s empty promises? The creepiness of “Coraline” is so powerful because most of us never grow out of at least a little part that wonders if we would take the chance escape to the other world.

Would you be strong enough to avoid getting button eyes sewn in?

Disney Moms

Last year I wrote a post about Disney Dads and after writing that post I realized that it’s hard to find good fathers in Disney films but I didn't expect finding good Mothers in Disney to be harder.

But it is.

I can already hear you compiling a list in your brain of good mothers, but here is my criteria for a good Mom in Disney films:

1) They live; sorry Bambi’s mom you seem like a great doe

2) They raise their children which would rule out Sarabi from The Lion King because Simba runs away after Mufasa dies

3) Obviously they must be a good parent unlike Mother Gothel in Tangled

4) They must be present in the movie unlike Ariel’s mother, Queen Athena, in The Little Mermaid because we want to know how they parent

With these criteria and having over 1000 films to consider (including short films and TV movies) I have come up with 5 mothers that are great examples to everyone.

Chicha: The Emperor’s New Groove

Since this is the first pregnant woman to appear in a Disney animated film, you bet that she will be the first mother I mention in this list. I think she is a great example of a mother. In the Family Proclamation it states that Mothers nurture their children and sure enough we see Chicha do that.

In the movie we see Chicha showing affection for Pacha in front of their children showing them that they love each other. We see that she involves her children and gives them responsibilities like distracting Yzma from catching up to Pacha and Kuzco. She cares for her family and does hard things while pregnant.

Mrs. Potts: Beauty and the Beast

I don’t know about you, but I have associated Angela Lansbury with having a motherly persona. I believe that came from watching Beauty and the Beast and hearing her voice Mrs. Potts.

When I think of lessons that I could learn from Mrs. Potts I think about how we should be caring and forgiving. When the young prince and the household were transformed into a beast and household appliances those who were in his service could have been upset and stopped working for him because of his mistakes. I would have done that, but Mrs. Potts didn’t. Instead, she was Christlike and showed compassion towards Beast and became a pseudo mother that patiently taught him to become the prince with a heart.

Also, she is shown to have the most kids in a movie (minus 101 dalmatians). She has at least six kids without including Beast.

Julieta Madrigal: Encanto

I think one of the best things about Encanto is the message on family. Julieta Madrigal literally has the touch to make you feel better, after you eat her cooking.

Abuela Alma, the grandmother,  who oversaw and was the matriarch of the household was afraid of Mirabel destroying the house and, as a result, she shunned her from the family while Julieta, who knew about the prophecy, still loved her as a mother should--- telling us that family is more important than magic.

Mirabel may not have any powers and may cause more trouble than the rest of the family, but her mother loves her. How do we know this? Because Julieta sets time to spend time with her and talk with Mirabel as an equal. She tells Mirabel that even though she may not be supernatural, she is amazing. Julieta is a supportive mother that encourages her children.

Lucille: Meet the Robinsons

This is a great example of how you don’t have to be a biological parent to be a great Mother. Usually in animated movies the stepmother is usually evil. Lucille is technically an adopted mother to the protagonist Lewis yet she had a huge impact on him.

Lewis meets Lucille after winning the science fair, Lucille was the judge addicted to coffee. What is great about her is, firstly, she is educated: she is a scientist with a doctoral degree. Secondly, she encourages Lewis to become a great scientist and surpass her. Instead of being jealous of Lewis and his achievements she is supportive and proud of what he has created.

With a family motto of “keep moving forward” and the love that this family has for each other you know that Lucille is a good influence to them.  

Helen Parr (Elastigirl): The Incredibles

Last, but certainly not least, we have the most flexible parent Helen Parr---an incredible mother and wife. While Bob, Mr. Incredible, goes through a midlife crisis and tries to live in the glory days by being a hero again we see a true hero Helen come to the rescue after Bob is captured by Syndrome.

After, her two oldest children (Violet and Dash) disobey her directions and follow her to rescue Bob. She prioritizes their safety while giving them responsibility. While in the crashing plane she instructed Violet to make a shield. After Violet's failed attempts she risks her life to save her children. When they are on the island, she does her best to keep them hidden while she rescues her husband by herself. She learns from her children that families are stronger together than when they are apart.

Helen is a great example of how mother put the needs of the children above her own and being willing to be taught by them.

There are a few more great mothers in Disney that could have made this list. Maybe next year I can talk about them. 

To all mothers reading this post, Happy Mother's Day.  

 

“To all mothers in every circumstance, including those who struggle—and all will—I say, ‘Be peaceful. Believe in God and yourself. You are doing better than you think you are.’” - Elder Jeffrey R. Holland

Moments of Motherhood by Calvin's Mom

With Mother's Day coming up this weekend, I was thinking about which mother of all fandom I wanted to spotlight. I decided to go with the (almost) always patient mother of Calvin, from Calvin and Hobbes. And here are just a few moments with her that I think every parent (especially moms) can relate to.

To be honest, I know I wasn’t an easy child. So why would I expect mine to be easy?

Imaginative play is wonderful and healthy… but it certainly gets in the way of reality at times. 

The job of a mom is full-time work… the job of being a child… whenever they feel like it. 

Seeing your little one sick is the worst part of parenting. Period. 

Moms have this intuition to know how to comfort their child.

Two minutes of quiet with a child is inherently suspicious 

Playtime/TV time > Feeding yourself

My toddler’s latest bedtime question: “What are you doing?”

Sometimes you just gotta tell the kid what they need to hear. 

Five Reasons Marge Simpson is the Mom We Need

 I did this for Homer for Father's day I figured it's time Marge got a turn. 

If you haven't seen the show, Marge Simpson is the mom on the Simpsons, the wife of the infamous Homer and mother to Bart, Lisa and Maggie. In comparison to the rest of her family, Marge usually plays the straight man, being the normal person in a world full of oddball characters, her giant tower of blue hair notwithstanding. Being the most grounded person on the show doesn't mean that she doesn't have her moments to shine or that her episodes are any less good, it just means that when she gets into wacky shannegains they're made even more funny by her having more normal sensibilities than the rest of her family. 

Above all else though, Marge is a wife and a mother, and she is devoted to each with every once of her being.

5: Patience of a Saint

It would be one thing to have to put up with just one source of crazy in a family, Marge has three and an infant to boot. She takes care of her families eccentricities no matter what they may be that week and rolls with whatever punch she's thrown. Sometimes it's being ready to clean barbecue off the roof after Homer uses the chimney as a smoker. Sometimes it's remembering to check Bart's pockets for sling shots and frogs before church, and sometimes it's making sure Lisa's lunch is vegetarian despite Bart and Homer demanding meat. She takes it all in stride. Not to say that she doesn't occasionally need time to recharge. Marge takes time off to read a book, get her hair done, or go on a week long vacation whenever the stress of the family is getting to her, but she always comes back ready to take care of her families' sometimes extreme needs. 

4: She Accepts her Family

Along with her patience is accepting the kooky eccentricities of her family and loving them for being different. For Christmas she makes two sets of cookies for the kids, a set of Christmas trees for Lisa and bloody spear heads for Bart, both using the same cookie cutter. She knows what Bart likes and doesn't try to force him to be more traditional. With Lisa her relationship is a bit more complicated. Marge is the traditional stay at home mom, interested in making the perfect meal and cleaning the house, where Lisa is an outspoken feminist, wanting to educate herself and become more than a housewife which she sees as inferior. The two have clashed over expectations they have for each other, but Marge is always willing to listen to Lisa's opinions on the world, even if she doesn't agree with them. Marge and Lisa have learned a lot from each other, both willing to see each other's point of view and without having to make drastic changes to make the other happy. 

3: She Loves Being a Mom

There's something about the pure joy Marge finds in being a mom that makes the Simpson house feel like somewhere that would be nice to visit or grow up in. Weather it's her humming to herself as she makes lunches or how eager she is to flex her considerable cooking or sewing skills, Marge revels in her home and families happiness. While she does get annoyed when the house is destroyed by someone's misadventures, she's happy to try again the next day. Again this doesn't make Marge a pushover. Whenever she feels that her good nature is being taken advantage of she has no problem making the rest of the family pitch in and help clean up their messes, but whenever she's gone the family is always grateful to have someone who loves to take care of them. 

2: She Stands her Ground

Marge lets her family be themselves and lets them make her own decisions, but they're are lines that will not be crossed on her watch. When Homer bought a gun and was using it irresponsibly she told him that it was the gun or the family, because she knew that it would not be safe in her house and would not accept anything less than complicity (We'll ignore that when Homer did throw the gun away Marge picked it up, saw how cool she looked in the reflection, pursed it and strutted away). No matter how much easier it would be on everyone she refuses to give up on Bart, insisting that he gets an education even if she has to teach him herself, and when she did become his teacher he learned. With Lisa she will not let her think less of herself because the world tells her to, she makes sure that even if they don't agree on something that Lisa knows that she is special and is loved and that even though she might not be appreciated by others now she will be one day and teach them all a lesson. 

1: She Stands Up For Her Family

Marge's soft-spoken nature falls by the wayside as soon as anyone starts talking bad about any member of her family. She has defended Homer to her own family, telling them off on numerous occasions for discounting him. She has told off principals, teachers and other students in defense of her kids. In the early 90's then first lady Barbara Bush publicly said that The Simpsons was "The stupidest thing I have ever seen". Marge (AKA the writers of the show) wrote a polite but firm response to Barbara: 

Barbara then wrote back! 

This is the mom you want- one that will clap back for you against the wife of the president of the United States, so hard that she writes a letter back apologizing! 

That's a good mom!

-JOE

Emily Gilmore's Motherhood Moments

With Mother’s Day fast approaching, I wanted to spotlight an example of less-than-perfect parenting. Emily Gilmore may be the absolute worst at times, but she does have her moments as a mother and grandmother. Here are just a few of my favorites.

Rory’s Dance

While Rory is off at a Chilton dance with Dean, Lorelei struggles with an injured back. Despite her protests, Emily comes to Stars Hollow for last minute dance prep. And despite more protests, Emily sticks around to take care of an injured Lorelei. Sure, the following morning wasn’t a great moment between the two of them, but for that one night we got to see Emily in a loving mother role.

Lorelei’s Graduation Day

She was against her parents attending her business school graduation, but Rory knew better and invited Lorelei’s parents anyway. Emily went way over the top with corsages and cameras, but she meant well. And it was surprisingly well received by Lorelei. In the end, she was grateful for her parents’ attendance. Especially since Rory was absent… but her mistakes are a post for another time.

Defending Against Richard

When her husband goes up against his former partner Jason (Lorelei’s boyfriend) leaving him in the deep end of the business world, Emily actually stands up for Jason. Not for his sake, but because she doesn’t want to lose Lorelei as a result. It’s a little bit selfish on her part I suppose, but the genuine fear of losing her daughter again is striking. 

Buying Lorelei a House

Despite their misgivings about Luke in the beginning, Lorelei’s parents eventually realized how happy he made her and how permanent this relationship seemed to be. So to show their support, they planned on a house as a wedding present. While showing this amazing gift to Lorelei, Emily discovered the troubles she was having with Luke. In the aftermath of Lorelei’s breakdown, it was beautiful to see Emily sitting with her.

During Lorelei’s Divorce

As Lorelei was going through her divorce from Christopher, Emily had a wonderful moment of mothering. Nothing could take the sting out of Lorelei’s divorce, but Emily reminded her daughter of her strengths. She was independent and strong for years without a man. And her mother knew that. She may not have given many pep talks in her mothering career, but her canoe speech is pretty great.

The Gilmore Girls Road Tripping

The series was nearly at an end when Lorelei and Rory planned a trip to attend Mia’s wedding. With Emily tagging along, it could have been incredibly awkward–kinda was at some points. But despite the awkward moments, it gave Emily a chance to see deep inside Lorelei and Rory’s experiences and to spend some genuine bonding time with her girls.

Investing in Lorelei’s Inn

As the series wrapped up, Emily insisted on investing in the Dragonfly Inn. Build a spa? A tennis court? Anything to be financially involved in the Inn. At first it seemed like a way to meddle in Lorelei’s life, but during the final scenes, it became obvious that Emily was just scared. No more Rory. No more financial obligations for school. Would she lose her daughter again? No. Instead of making it a deal or an obligation, Lorelei just simply told her mother “why don't we just talk about it Friday night at dinner?”

She wasn’t the perfect mother. Far from it. But she genuinely cared about her girls. She expressed it in all the wrong ways at times. But don’t we all? So happy Mother’s Day to all the moms. Especially the imperfect ones.

Top TV Moms

Happy Mother’s Day! Or at least it will be in a few days. So consider this your reminder so that you can plan something special for your mom before the Primary kids start singing their songs in Sacrament Meeting this Sunday. As for this post, I’ve put together a list of a few wonderful TV moms that were total rock stars. With all the parent/child drama on TV, take comfort in these solid TV moms.

She changed a lot since her first encounter

Yuuko Kamiya (Digimon)

She appeared in all three Digimon adventure series. She was a bit clueless to the kids’ adventures in Seasons 1 and 2, but in the Digimon Adventure Tri movies (released 2015-2016), she was shown to be supportive of her two Digi-Destined kids and their Digimon partners. While everyone else in Tokyo was panicking about the Digimon attacks, Yuuko kept a calm head, trusting her kids and their friends to take care of all the attacks. Just like in the Season 2 finale, she displayed faith in the Digi-Destined and her only concern was making sure the kids and the Digimon had enough food.

Talk about character development

Regina Mills (Once Upon a Time)

She adopted Henry to fill a void in her heart caused by killing her father and spent the next ten years faking who she was. Before her redemption arc (seasons 1-3) she was kind of a poor mother, in many respects, but by the end of Season 3 she had redeemed herself to the Charmings and to her son, enough that by Season 7 she was purely a hero focused on helping Henry on his adventures. She dropped everything in Storybrooke to be with her son and help him succeed. Also, as shown in “Is This Henry Mills?” (episode 7.20, so spoiler alert, guys) she displayed great faith in her son by trusting him to make very big, important decisions about his future, even though it eventually meant him leaving the realm itself.

So much sass

Shirley Bennett (Community)

When the series began, Shirley was the recently divorced single mother of two young children. The thing I respect the most about her is that instead of wallowing in her husband’s betrayal and the subsequent divorce, Shirley did what she had to take control of her life and eventually care for her kids. Fast forward, she ended up re-marrying her husband, but her drive to create a better life for her kids is one of the things I find most admirable about her.

Not above sassing the Doctor

Jackie Tyler (Doctor Who)

Her daughter Rose left with the Ninth Doctor and flew off into the night for at least two adventures before returning to London a year later. Even after her daughter had been missing a year, Jackie reluctantly let her daughter fly around time and space with an unknown man. She was the first mother of a companion to be featured and she did not disappoint. Naturally she’d go crazy, with her daughter missing for a year, but her faith in and love for her daughter was unwavering, even to the point of moving to a parallel universe to be with her daughter.

Back before she was Belle

Claire Littleton (Lost)

The reluctant single mother crash-landed on the Island eight-months pregnant. The thing I love most about her is that in the three seasons that she mothered Aaron, she stepped up to the job. Sure, Sun and Charlie and others helped out, but from the moment her son was born, she held on tight. So going from putting him up for adoption, to becoming the Island crazy-lady when he was kidnapped, I have to respect Claire for never giving up as a mother.

Will she return again? Spoilers ;)

Dinah Lance (Arrow)

She’s only appeared in seven episodes of Arrow, but I’ve been rewatching the show lately and certain aspects of her character really impress me in Seasons 1 and 2. First of all, it’s not exactly clear how or why she left her husband, but it’s implied that it happened after Quentin started his binge-drinking after Sara’s apparent death. So I have to respect Dinah for (presumably) getting out of a bad situation with an alcoholic and moving on with her life. I also love her faith in Season 1 that Sara was alive. Really, it was probably just blind faith because Oliver had returned to civilization, but her blind faith paid off when Sara returned in Season 2.

Who are your favorite TV moms? What’s the best surprise you ever made for your mom for Mother’s Day?