LDS Geeks Podcast #36: Interview with a Super Missionary

I had the pleasure of reading "How to be a Super Missionary" by Dr Benjamin Jeppsen and I can't recommend it enough. I had Ben on the podcast to discuss geekiness and missionary work. 

--Spencer

LDS Geeks Podcast #34: Future of Marvel

If I need an insight to existing or upcoming Marvel content, one of my go-to people for questions is Joe. With so many Marvel projects coming down the line this year, I figured I needed to grab him for a podcast episode to discuss what's what with the first few. Enjoy!

--Spencer

Reaction to DC's Future Announcement

 In all my friend groups, I'm the superhero guy. I used to collect the comics religiously, I've seen all the movies, I know all the lore, I'm the guy that everyone turns to after the after-credits scene and asks to explain who the purple guy is with the glove. So naturally since James Gunn announced what the plans for DC is going to be in the future, multiple friends have turned to me asking my opinion on it. 

Well, let's go through the announcement and go over what they're talking about, shall we? 

Consistency

Okay I get the need to determine what's set in what universe. Marvel's been very clear about what is and isn't canon where DC has been all over the map with where everything is, so I like this. My worry would be that we get another Ezra Miller situation where a performer can't stay out of the tabloids and they have to recast across multiple platforms, but hopefully DC learned its lesson. 

Shazam and Flash

These have been slated for a while now so I'm glad they're going to use them as part of the reboot, though I wonder how much needed to be changed after the fact in the films to make this happen. But also: WHEN IS SHAZAM GOING TO FIGHT BLACK ADAM?!

Blue Beetle

They've been pushing the new Blue Beetle for years now, which gives me heavy Miles Morales/Spider-Man vibes but not in a good way. Where Miles was received well because he was a version of a popular superhero portrayed by a person of a minority, this is the same thing except: Can anyone whose not a hardcore DC fan tell me who the last Blue Beetle was? Young Justice tried to make the new Blue Beetle interesting but even they've stopped using him. 

Aquaman 2

Let's not even get into the train wrech that's been going on behind the scenes with this one, save to say that if Aquaman 2 is even the least bit coherent I'm going to die of shock. 

Creature Commandos

Are you people serious? We're going to do a comic book from the 80's that was basically Avengers meets Monster High? I guess we haven't learned our lesson from League of Extraordinary Gentlemen that this just doesn't work cinematically because these characters each have such a massive cultural footprint that watering them down for a team is an injustice to them and just creates a massive mess but here we are. 

Waller

Viola Davis has been one of the best things about the DC films, so yeah let's keep her rolling around. The Peacemaker franchise is not something I could see letting kids watch so if these guys end up teaming up with Superman down the road they're could be some awkward questions around who these people are and why we care. I'm glad to see Davis coming back though. 

Superman: Legacy

And of course during this part of the presentation they show an image from Superman: All-Stars, the only Superman comic to win any awards in decades. With all the media focused on Superman's kid out I'm betting anything it's going to be a Superman/Superman Jr situation. 

Lanterns 

True Detective but with Green Lanterns... I don't even want to imagine what the budget on this thing is, and if the special effects aren't James Cameron's Avatar level it is going to be roasted by every geek in this solar system. Never forget the Green Lantern movie starring Ryan Reynolds and the digital train wreck that thing was. 

The Authority

Hay you know what this franchise needs? Even more unrecognizable characters to clutter everything up! Yaaaay! Seriously though adding these fools in is going to be DC's version of the Eternals mark my words. 

Paradise Lost

Game of Thrones but on Paradise Island... Notice he said the birthplace of Wonder Woman but did not mention Wonder Woman. I'm envisioning Gotham where they kept hinting and foreshadowing at stuff we already know about but ended up becoming a giant teasing waste of time. 

Brave and the Bold

Of course it's about Damien Wayne. You can't do anything without having Damien Wayne crawl out and start talking about how he's an assassin. I'm convinced that the whole Superman's son thing only came about so that Damien could have a playmate. As a Robin he's always been.... A thing... I get why Gunn would love him but I'm not all that excited for yet more Damien Wayne stories. 

Booster Gold

I've got to admit this one actually looks fun since I like Booster Gold and loved the old Justice League: International comics where he hung out. This could be really funny depending on who they cast as Booster and who he has to bounce off of. 

Supergirl: Woman of Tomorrow

Who is this universe for exactly? Marvel succeeded by appealing to young and old alike, but this sounds like a space horror drama and I doubt the year it comes out many little girls are going to want to dress as PTSD riddled depressing Supergirl. 

Swamp Thing

And we round off with, of course, Swamp Thing. Haven't we tried this 2 or 3 times before and it didn't work? Every time there's talk of a new DC anything somebody always mentions bringing Swamp Thing into it and every time they do he's a bust. Put Swamp Thing back in the swamp and leave him alone. 

Obviously besides a couple small sparks I don't have a lot of hope for the DC cinematic future. I want to note though that none of this is from superhero fatigue. I've been binging the X-Men cartoons lately and played Marvel's Midnight Suns all the way through and am still hankering for more, what I'm saying though is that this announcment didn't light my superhero heart ablaze like it should have and I sincerely hope that the more that Gunn promised will do that or else this whole thing is going to be in more trouble than the Justice League can bail them out of. 

-JOE

The Best Batman

Let me be transparent here: On this platform I've called Batman a Mary-Sue, uninteresting, and an example of toxic masculinity. And I still defend each of these positions, but I do have a blind spot in my Batman critique: 

Kevin Conroy. 

Every complaint I've ever had about Batman disintegrate in Conroy's portrayal. His recent passing has called me to reflect on the times he's portrayed the Dark Knight and how his performances over the years has shaped the character into something that is still worth championing for and why despite my own opinions he is still, in my eyes, a hero. 

Spoilers for a whole mess of Batman stuff. 

Batman: The Animated Series (BTAS)

BTAS was the first introduction to Batman for 90's kids (Unless your parents were cool like mine and let you watch the Michael Keaton ones). Painted on a black background, fighting a Joker voiced by Mark Hamill, Conroy gave us a human portrayal of Batman that was ahead of its time for children's cartoons. Here we got a Batman who could also be the millionaire playboy Bruce Wayne, one who felt things more than righteous anger, including fear and mourning. 

Two pieces stand out here: One was when he was doused with Scarecrow gas and was in a hallucination that his parents survived, and that he was not Batman. There's fear echoing in his voice as he quickly realizes that it's not real and fights to escape back to reality, despite knowing he'd be giving up a dream life he always wanted and deserved. It echoed an episode in Justice League: United when under the influence of the Black Mercy Superman had to make a similar decision. We get an example of Batman being in a situation where he has to fight with his mind rather than his skills, and how much it hurts to see everything he's going to lose. 

The second is the official appearance of Two-Face. Harvey Dent, the district attorney destined to lose half his face, was friends with Bruce Wayne in multiple episodes before he became the villain, including nearly being killed by Poison Ivy (He's still not over that one). Here Batman has a dream about letting Harvey down, and his parents being disappointed in him for failing to save his friend like he failed to save them. There's a humanity in Batman's voice that we rarely get, a vulnerability that reveals more about why he does it than a thousand "I am the night!" quotes ever could. 

Justice League/Unlimited

In the Animated Series spin-offs, Justice League and Justice League: Unlimited, Batman wasn't alone as he teamed up with six other great heroes. Conroy did not let the others overshadow the Bat though as he held his own with the booming bombastic action the show offered. 

In the Justice League cartoons, Batman was frequently the butt of multiple jokes about his inability to fly, not have powers and that he was a millionaire, all of which he had to grimace at and move on. He would occasionally quip back though, giving us another side to Batman we rarely see: a sense of humor. This is demonstrated perfectly in the Injustice Gang episodes where Batman is captured by the gang of villains, secured in a metal straight jacket, and kept under constant guard. Batman manages to manipulate each of his captors into turning on the others, sometimes with an inflection of his voice showing sympathy, and even seducing Cheetah (What is with him and cat-themed villains? It's like Cyclops and psychics). Under Joker's watch though he decides to make his move, giving them the slip and catching Joker by surprise, saying that he could've gotten out at any time but that "Someone needed to keep an eye on them". He also gets what is probably the funniest gag in the episode when he reveals that he paid the Ultra-Humanite to switch sides, demonstrating that yes, being rich is a super power. 

Now I would love to go over the Ultimate episode where he sat with Ace until she passed away, but the other scene I want to talk about is from the aforementioned episode where Superman was entranced by the Black Mercy, an alien plant that shows you your greatest paradise while it slowly saps the life out of you. Superman manages to lose it only for it to entangle itself around Batman, where we see that his ultimate dream is simple: He's back in the alley with his parents but his dad is beating the crap out of the mugger. The sequence itself has no Conroy, but it's after where the real hit comes. After he gets freed from the plant with the help of Wonder Woman and its used to imprison the villain that brought the thing to earth in the first place, Superman wonders what visions the plant is showing him, to which Batman replies "Whatever it is, it's too good for him.". The line delivery there is everything. It's barely restrained rage, its pain at having just found and lost everything all over again, it's knowing that this is the person responsible. In an already emotional episode, it's the perfect encapsulation of everything that's happened in one sentence. 

Beyond

 

Batman Beyond brought us a different version of Bruce Wayne most audiences weren't familiar with: Old Bruce Wayne. Shown in comics like The Dark Knight Returns and Kingdom Come, this is a Batman who has lost his crusade. Because he's only human, the years of fighting took their toll on Batman and at one point, after a heart attack mid-battle, he had to retire. Crime continued to happen in his absence without him being able to lift a finger to do anything about it, and he became a sad old man in his mansion, not even having the energy to stay on the board of Wayne Enterprises. He finds purpose in the new Batman, Terry McGuinness, who he trains and mentors, thus accepting that while Bruce Wayne may die, his legacy will live on. 

The episode that exemplifies Conroy's chops best is one where Bruce is dipped into the legendary Lazarus pit, bringing him nearly back to his peak performance. Conroy goes from an older and jaded Bruce to a younger and hopeful one effortlessly, and you can hear the difficulty in his voice as he has to choose to return to being old again knowing what the cost of the pit would be if he wanted to keep using it. 

Arkham

The Arkham video game series gave audiences what they'd always wanted: A more serious, darker Batman voiced by Conroy with some of the same emotional beats he had in the show. Here Batman gets to swear as he beats up the villains of Gotham City, but his emotional moments are all the more highlighted as the games could bring across the true darkness of his past and present in all the horrifying detail they could. 

Highlights for me include Batman being gassed by Scarecrow (Common theme here, Batman should think about hiring Scarecrow as his therapist) and having to relive his parents murder. The emotion that Conroy pours into his voice as his adult self transforms into his childhood version shows that deep inside Batman is just a scared little boy trying to save his parents. The second big highlight is during the finale of Arkham City where he pleads with the Joker to let him help him cure the mutation he's dying from, but instead Joker being Joker fights Batman and breaks the cure, and Batman has to watch this man die. You'd think this would be a triumphant moment, but it means that the Joker will never be brought to justice for the people he's killed and can never be redeemed, emphasizing the futility of Batman's mission. Batman says goodbye to him with this sadness, not over losing a friend but from watching any hope for this person die with them. 

Loss of a Legend

While a lot of the things I loved above can be equally credited to writing staff, animators and video game designers, I argue that the voice actors don't get enough credit for the jobs they do. Conroy was a better Batman than any other because he could portray fear and sadness right along with the anger we usually see Batman express (it’s a shame we only got to see him in live action once, during a subpar Arrowverse crossover). We had over 30 years of time with Conroy as Batman, and we were blessed to see how Batman should be done: As a well rounded character with flaws that we can connect to. 

D&D Class Breakdown: Monk

For new players, it can be hard to choose your first class. For veteran players, it can be hard to choose a class and not fall into stereotypes everyone's seen a thousand times. So now I'm going to deconstruct the 5E Player's Handbook classes (Sorry Artificer, you'll come later) and talk about what works, what doesn't, and some interesting ways to play the classes. 

I won't be going into game mechanics as much as I'll be going into roleplay. 

Let's talk about monks!

...This is going to get ugly...

What is a Monk? 

The word monk is itself problematic. Used to describe the monastic traditions of various Asian cultures, monks represent the belief of reaching a state of enlightenment by tempering and perfecting one's own body. The English word is derived from the secluded Christian monks that were the closest word that described the people met in exploration and trade. 

Word etymology aside, the real problematic issues with the monks are that they continue the tradition of mythicizing non-European cultures and their spiritual beliefs. The monk itself in D&D is not just a martial artist, but a martial artist able to gain supernatural abilities through the perfection of their body, even obtaining the ability to become an outsider type in version 3.5. When a culture is perceived as mystic it can be just as problematic as any other form of racism because it misrepresents the people who identify with that culture. 

The traditions the monk is based off of are alive in well throughout the world, so Dungeons and Dragons players need to walk a fine line when incorporating the monk into the game... Which they don't always do...

In the Game

Since most D&D games take place in western medieval fantasy settings, the monk is an odd man out in society. Usually a story will say that the monks come from a mysterious distant land. 

Sound familiar? 

The exoticism of the monk in most games continues to perpetuate the structural racism that comes with the concept of the monk. Because the monk is supposed to be from a foreign land they usually only manifest in the player characters who play them. Rarely will an NPC be a monk unless it's a direct tie to the player's monk. 

So I've been talking a lot of trash about the monk, but let me be clear: I don't think Dungeons and Dragons is racist, nor do I think people who play monks are racist. I think that the monk is part of a bigger problem the game and most western fiction: coding non-western cultures into fiction to use their cultural traditions and beliefs to create exotic others. The reason I'm picking on the monk so much is (A) this is the series I chose to do and (B) with the freeform of Dungeons and Dragons we can use the monk but do better than rip off centuries of cultural appropriation. 

Breaking the Trope

For an example of the monk class done well I'd like to circle the Avatar: The Last Airbender franchise and then go get a cheeseburger, but let me expound on it. Pretty much every bender and fighter person in Avatar is a monk, the difference between them and the problematic monk is thus:  

A: The monks are not tied to one tradition, they are in fact a blending of multiple cultures and beliefs with a lot of homebrewed fiction to create their world. 

B: Except for the avatar, monks in this world are not exotic. They are so commonplace that nearly everyone knows somebody who can bend the elements or has trained in martial arts. 

So how do we break the trope in the campaign? Usually I address the player's creation choices but here I'm going to have to talk to the dungeon masters out there to alter their worlds. 

An Order 

If you want monks in your world, write an organization that specially trains and utilizes monks that is commonplace, even if it is secret or rumor. Make them part of the lore for the land the characters find themselves in, and not a far-off concept in a vague direction. Good starts are organizations like the Foot Clan from Ninja Turtles  and the Black Widows from the MCU. 

Specially Trained Heroes

If you can't fit organizations into your game world, try smaller groups, those who train in a specific way for a specific purpose. The best example here is Batman, who is a master in multiple martial arts to the point where he basically has his own way of fighting. He teaches his Robins the same style, a multi-form combat in capes, and thus in their way they perfect their own martial art style. This removes cultural appropriation from your campaign and adds ripping off Batman to the list of copyright crimes a dungeon master commits on a daily basis. 

A Fleshed Out Land

If you insist on the far-off land option, then flesh out said land. Write the culture, beliefs, the people and the practices of these people. Pick a specific Asian culture and understand its martial arts practices and use it as inspiration. Let the characters be able to visit the land and meet other people like their monk. Keep in mind with this my earlier warning about exotiocising another's culture for the feeling of other. 

Oops All Monks

Consider when describing your world sprinkling monks into the populace more. Make them as relatively common as fighters and sorcerers, this will make the monk less of an exotic oddity and more of just part of the world they exist in. Think about peppering your encounters with monks, either from the books or making your own. This can also give your players an extra challenge in their next fight. 

Famous Monks

Avatar Aang (Avatar the Last Airbender)

Like I said, everyone in ATLA is a monk, unless their a rando monk or Sokka the fighter. Aang gets top billing just for being the first one we get to meet. He also embodies the monk's goal to gain spiritual enlightenment through physical perfection. 

Batman (DC Comics)

Technically Batman is a fighter/rogue/ranger/monk but we'll focus on his monk part. Studying martial arts has given him multiple unusual abilities he uses to fight crime, including holding his breath for an extra long time and meditating for 20 minutes instead of sleeping. This of course extends to his army of prodogies, especially Nightwing who can do a quadrouple jump. 

Master Splinter (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles)

A martial arts master, Splinter is a dangerous foe despite his advanced age and being a giant rat. He has focused his mind and his body to be the perfect weapon, but he chooses a path of peace whenever he can. I'd put the Turtles here too, but when I was a kid I always wanted to be Splinter so here's a shout out to my favorite rat. 

Oogway (Kung Fu Panda)

While martial arts is one thing, the key is body perfection to extrordinary ability, like how Master Oogway was able to find his way to ascending to another plane. He was also able to defeat a powerful enemy with just a few touches of his claws, hardly even breaking a sweat like he was programming a microwave. 

-JOE

Check out the other D&D Classes as well: Barbarian, Bard, Cleric, Druid, Fighter

10 Movie Moments that Live Rent Free In My Head

 I love movies. 

I went to school to be a film critic (Didn't pan out-turns out nobody was hiring) and if you get me on the topic of movies I will talk your ear off about actors, lighting, history, costumes, anecdotes from sets and anything else that is completely useless in a zombie apocalypse. 

I want to share with you now 10 movie moments that I think of often and love with all my heart. 

Spoilers, probably. 

10: The Posession (Beetlejuice) 

From the moment Catherine O'Hara opens her mouth and "Deo!" comes out I am laughing and invested. Honestly this entire movie is living in my head rent free, and the musical is moving in. No matter how many times I've seen this movie, the jump scare at the end with the weird shrimp cocktails always gets me jump. 

9: Cuban Pete (The Mask)

I promise this isn't just going to be a list of musical moments, but this one has to be mentioned. 

Back in the 90's Jim Carey was one of the biggest actors in Hollywood. I loved his movies, and my favorite to this day is The Mask. This scene is ripped right out of Looney Tunes, and frankly if I was a cop I would be dancing right along, spell or no. 

8: The T-Rex Appears (Jurassic Park)

I was about 7 when the OG Jurassic Park hit theaters. Already wanting to be a paleontologist, I was captivated by the idea to see real dinosaurs on the big screen. To this day I have nearly every shot memorized of the T-Rex emerging from her paddock and attacking the jeeps. 

Two fun facts about this scene: 

1: The glass on the jeep's skylight wasn't supposed to cave in but the animatronic broke through on the kids so their screams as they try to keep the glass between them and the Rex are real. 

2: When the Rex steps onto the road the paddock is level ground, allowing the Rex to walk through, but when she knocks the jeep into the paddock there's a cliff. Stephen Spielberg said to keep it in despite the discrepancy because the action was more important than keeping the shots consistent. 

7: Piggy and Joan Rivers (Muppets Take Manhattan) 

Muppet movies get big name guest appearances, all happy to play character roles with their favorite Muppets. One of my favorites (I could make a Muppet list all on its own) is Miss Piggy with the legendary Joan Rivers. The usual dirty talking Rivers tones it down for this scene, but is still happy to give Piggy relationship advice to lure back her frog. 

6: Nightcrawler vs Secret Service (X2: X-Men United)

Before we had the whole MCU and DCEU craze, we had the X-Men movies. On our second outing to the X-Men universe one of my favorites made a stunning cinematic debut by single-handedly taking out the entire Secret Service at the White House to assassinate the president. Luckily he got his mind back before he could, but the sequence is still one of the best superhero fight scenes in cinema-even including all the Marvels. 

Yeah, I said it. 

5: Ain't got no body! (Young Frankenstein)

A scene that always cracked me up as a kid, Dr. Frankenstein is exploring his grandfather's legendary labratory. Looking at replicated heads on a shelf, they come across the freshly dead sample being Igor, the doctor's assistant, who breaks out into song. You don't want to know how many times I've put my head on a shelf/counter/table and done the same thing. 

4: Duel of the Fates (Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace) 

Yeah come at me, but this scene rocks. 

3: Part of Your World reprise (The Little Mermaid) 

About time Disney made it on this list (Though I could also make a list of just Disney movies). Here we have this beautiful moment when Ariel just saved Eric and they're together on the beach. The sunlight shines through the storm clouds as Ariel sings the reprise, musing whether they'll ever be together forever. It's Disney animation at its finest, beautiful, mesmerizing and just a nice time. 

2: Spider-Man Returns (Avengers: Endgame)

I was not okay at the end of Avengers: Infinity War. In Endgame, Hulk uses the Infinity Stones to get everyone back, which is amazing in and of itself, but the real emotional blow comes when Spider-Man reunites with Tony Stark on the battlefield. Spider-Man is doing his normal adorkableness, while Stark stares at him in awe, realizing that after five years it worked. He's undone his greatest failure. The hug gets me every. Single. Time. 

1: You can call me... Joker (Batman)

This scene has defined my life. Ask anyone and they'll tell you I have an obsession with villains, bad guys and monsters and I can trace it all back to here: The introduction of the Joker. Jack Nicholsen starts out in silhouette giving us a hint of what's to come, playing it straight faced until he steps out into the light revealing that grin and that laugh... Heath Ledger was good but man... This scene tho...

I could honestly make the same list for Disney, horror, super heroes, TV, anime and musicals. All I need is a reason. 

-JOE

D&D Class Breakdown: Druid

For new players, it can be hard to choose your first class. For veteran players, it can be hard to choose a class and not fall into stereotypes everyone's seen a thousand times. So now I'm going to deconstruct the 5E Player's Handbook classes (Sorry Artificer, you'll come later) and talk about what works, what doesn't, and some interesting ways to play the classes. 

I won't be going into game mechanics as much as I'll be going into roleplay. 

Let's talk about Druids! 

What is a Druid? 

Originating in northern Europe, the druids were an esoteric order of clerics, sages and holy men who revered nature. Believed to be responsible for ancient monuments like Stonehenge, the druids ruled early Europe until the encroachment of Christianity in the early 1200s. 

Despite their absorption by early Christians, several druidic traditions have survived till modern day. Ever wonder why we have a Christmas tree when they make no appearances at the nativity? Druid winter solstice tradition. Why is Halloween sometimes called All Hallow's Eve? Druid new year. Why is the Easter Bunny a thing? Druid fertility ritual.

Druids are cool. 

In the Game

Druids in Dungeons and Dragons are the sworn protectors of the wild, wherever that may be. They guard vast areas of untamed wilderness, from mountain ranges to deep oceans. Their communion with nature gives them magic to control plants, animals and the elements to their whim, even being able to shapeshift their bodies into more primal forms at will. Earlier editions require them to eschew forged iron in favor of naturally formed weapons. 

Most druids in game are based out of forest regions, some species of elf, and are either militant defenders of nature or free spirited hippie children. Mostly these tropes sidestep the problematic issue that may come up by playing a druid, that being their ties to paganism and the negative light Christianity tends to shine on pagan beliefs. Druids in the game are usually played as more specialized magic users that look great in green than they are spiritual leaders. 

Because the game druid and the historic druid are usually only vaguely connected by name, problemization is rare on the ground. Druid orders do still exist to this day, so sensitivity should always be adhered to for those in the group who may keep to the old ways, but as long as players aren't mimicking direct druidic practices they're usually safe from offense. 

Breaking the Trope

The PETA/Love child trope is fun and is not offensive, but as usual here are some ideas for some different ways to play the druid to change it up in the game. 

Primal Druid

The archetypical druid is usually either played as having an average knowledge of civilization or a naivete to how civilization works but what if in connecting to the wilds the druid lost their connection to civilization and became more of a primal entity? Think along the lines of Tarzan or Mogoli, where the druid doesn't see themselves as an elf or a human but now sees themselves as one with the natural forces, and has no interest with  being part of the civilized world aside from their occasional collaborations with other heroes to accomplish their own greater good. 

The Evil Druid

The druid sees the destruction wrought by civilization and has taken it upon themselves to erase this plague from the earth, as they would any invasive species. Probably better for a BBEG in a campaign, the evil druid has a lot of mileage to be explored as a character. Will adventuring let them see the good in civilization, or will the bard's antics be what sets the druid over the edge? 

Druid of the Desert/Mountains/Jungle/Ocean/Beach/Plains

Like I said earlier, most players put druids home somewhere in a disingenuous forest, possibly because of the origins of the real life druids in Europe. While that's fine, there are still so many other biomes the druid could be the protector of. It should be noted that you may want to find out where your game is taking place so that your ocean druid doesn't end up spending the entire campaign in the mountains and becomes beyond useless. 

Druid of the Underdark

Forgotten Realms fans are aware of the vast network of interconnecting caves that form the Underdark, a place of untold horrors and where danger waits around every corner. What if a druid decided to become a master of this subterranean nightmare, cultivating giant spiders like some druids do wolves? While this might seem like a dark character a true guardian of the Underdark wouldn't care about politics, just the simple justice bestowed by those too foolish to survive. 

Famous Druids

Keyleth (Critical Role)

Of course we've got to throw in the Critical Role shout out. Keyleth explores the world as part of a ritual to become the chief of her tribe, learning to master the elements along the way. Her actress Marisha Ray says that she wanted to base a character after Avatar: The Last Airbender and came up with her elemental mastery as an homage to Avatar Aang's journey. 

Beast Boy (Teen Titans)

The beloved green changeling has a special affinity to animals, and therefore respects and tries to protect all the animals he can. Beast Boy has even gone so far as to become vegan, stating "I've been most of those animals you're eating". His respect for nature and ability to transform into any animal at will makes him as much a druid as anyone else who claims the title. 

Poison Ivy (DC Comics) 

On the opposite side of Beast Boy's altruism is the deadly Poison Ivy. Having access to the Green, an energy that encompasses and controls all plant life, Poison Ivy wages war on those who would try to harm her beloved plants. She's the evil druid archetype I mentioned earlier, only Poison Ivy doesn't care   as much about animals as she does for flora. 

-JOE

Check out the other D&D Classes as well: Barbarian, Bard, Cleric, Fighter

Vengeance is mine, saith… The Batman?

(Guest post by Ken)

Minor spoilers for The Batman ahead; read at your own risk

I can’t remember another time a superhero film has caused me to find deeper meaning in a scripture, but the much discussed newest outing of the Caped Crusader, The Batman, did just that. This well-built entry in the most film-adapted superhero’s filmography is definitely not for everyone, but it has some poignant things to say in an increasingly conflict-ridden world.

I admit I came into the film with heavy skepticism for multiple reasons (besides the butt-numbing three hour runtime!), such as:

1. First, the obvious thing we were all thinking: Robert Pattinson??? Really? 
2. Second: the previews looked SO DARK and “gritty,” an overused Hollywood trope that often substitutes for substance. 
3. And finally: how is this ever going to live up to the unfillable shoes left by the Nolan trilogy? 

Let’s pick apart how the film performed against these barriers.

R-Pat at the Bat

My initial hesitations regarding Pattinson were tempered after seeing his performance in Tenet which showed him in a charismatic action role. That performance gave me a bit more hope that we wouldn’t just get the “emo vampire” Batman everyone feared. The result? Well, we actually got something more like the emo vampire, but I don’t think it was really Pattinson’s fault. First of all, there is extremely little Bruce Wayne in this film. He is almost always under the cape and cowl. This is a script choice, of course. But I couldn’t help but feel like Batman himself was the most boring character in this film. When you do see him as Bruce he is very moody and dark. When he’s Batman he’s either fighting or standing in near-paralyzed silence. You could have traded dozens of other actors into that cape and gotten the exact same performance. I will say that I appreciated how the action scenes portrayed him as still very young and inexperienced. He’s far from a perfect fighter and makes some physical mistakes that heighten the realism (this is most notable in a scene with a roof jump in a wingsuit).

The Dark-er Knight

This film absolutely leaned into the trope of “make it gritty for the sake of gritty” that I assumed it would from the previews. It wasn’t insufferable, and many other recent films are far worse offenders. But this film is DARK. If you had a hard time sitting through The Dark Knight, do not see this film. I think it was at least as dark, if not more so. Particularly brutal are the methods the Riddler uses to torture and kill people. It manages to keep the blood levels within the PG-13 rating boundary, but the psychological trauma elements were far creepier to me than any gore would be, and I don’t even handle blood that well! It's also literally dark. Almost every scene takes place at night. The only daytime scene that readily comes to mind in my memory is literally a funeral with everyone dressed in black. It’s like Reeves took a cue from Lego Batman: “I only work in Black. And sometimes very, very dark gray.” The darkness (literal and figurative) is what some people are raving about, but it honestly was my least favorite aspect of the film, even if I respect that it was executed well. 

BUT WHAT ABOUT NOLAN’S TRILOGY?

You really can’t write a review of this film without inevitably comparing it to Nolan’s films. Many have said it succeeds by not trying to mimic the Dark Knight films at all but be its own new film. I don’t entirely agree. It is definitely not a Nolan film, but I think director Matt Reeves has actually done well at preserving some of the things that people most admired in those films compared to earlier adaptations, such as a pure sense of realism that eschews any extreme sci-fi/fantasy elements. In the end, I think Reeves succeeded overall by balancing the reverence for Nolan with his own instincts and he got that mix perfect. It never seems like a Nolan knock-off, but still builds upon many of the same principles in its approach. He did well to use two primary villains (Riddler and Penguin) who Nolan never touched, but who fit well into being adapted to Nolan’s hyper-realistic form. 

Is this film as good as the Nolan trilogy? In the opinion of this Nolan-junkie author, no. But it didn’t need to clear that mark and what Reeves pulled off was about as good a film you could make in Nolan’s shadow.

Regarding Vengeance

One additional way Reeves took a cue from Nolan was endow his film with a sense of theme that aims to make the audience think rather than just be entertained. The theme is much simpler than Nolan’s often-multilayered approach of heavy-handed Jungian psychology that tends to go over the head of many average movie-goers. But while simple, I found the film’s message profound.

Throughout the film, Batman ends his interactions with bad guys by growling, “I’m Vengeance!” His motivation is obsession in seeing punishment doled out to the criminal elements of Gotham he blames for the death of his parents. In the end, Batman learns that the only people he inspires when he acts this way are others obsessed with punishing those they feel responsible for every injustice in their life. The Riddler doesn’t hate Batman—he idolizes and is trying to mimic him, as are numerous others throughout the city. When he hears a domestic terrorist quoting his own “I’m Vengeance!” tagline, he realizes that much of the mayhem caused throughout the plot’s course has been inspired by his own crusade. He makes a distinct decision to recalibrate his purpose at that moment and decides to focus from that point on rescuing victims as the higher priority than punishing the offenders. 

This moment of realization for Batman is at first one of the most depressing moments I’ve seen on film and calls into question how much we should laud many of our most closely held superhero tropes. While Batman will no doubt continue to play a role in catching bad guys and bringing them to justice, he learns an important truth that helping and lifting the innocent is more noble an ideal than making sure the wicked get punished. He moves on from a motivation of vengeance. 

I don’t regularly spend much time pondering vengeance as a concept, but I was made to think of the common scriptural context of the word. The most famous passage we hear is from Romans 12:19: “Vengeance is mine… saith the Lord.” This verse itself is a quoting of numerous earlier scriptures (just go search “Vengeance” in the Topical Guide). I’ve heard these scriptures my whole life without pondering them much, maybe because they made me even vaguely uncomfortable. They just seemed to reinforce a perception of God who promises to punish us for our wickedness rather than forgive. And yet, if you read that Romans verse in full context it actually begins with a note of counsel: “Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves.”

God isn’t saying He wants us to remember how vengeful He is. Rather, when he says “Vengeance is mine” He’s reminding us that it isn’t ours. That isn’t to say we should stop striving for justice or disband systems which try to bring justice to society. But ultimately, there will be many wrongs from others we cannot set right, and God invites us to set aside our quest for vengeance and remind us that He will take care of that. And honestly, his form of setting it right will often be through reforming the wicked in any way He can as His first tool of choice. The punishment was all already paid in Gethsemane. 

In a world that is increasingly angry about just about everything, choosing to end a Batman film with a message of letting going of vengeance and focusing on making a positive difference in the world was a bold move for a movie filled with so much darkness. And it’s a message I appreciated and which lifted the film’s value all around. I’m optimistic that this revelation reshaping his motivation carries through to the inevitable sequel.

10 Fun Attacks from Video Games

We play video games for fun. Sometimes that fun comes from meticulously building the perfect character, min/maxing your stats, playing through the story, or playing with friends on a grand adventure. 

And sometimes it's because the game just have some really fun attacks and abilities. 

Here's ten of my favorites. 

10: Mrofsnart (Justice League: Heroes)

Well this one's going to age me. Justice League: Heroes is an RPG featuring the titular Justice League with gameplay based on the Dark Alliance series. Among the roster of characters is one of my favorites, the magician Zatanna and one of the best attacks in the game: Mrofsnart (For those who have no idea who Zatanna is, first: READ A BOOK! and second: Read the attack backwards). The spell turns an opponent into a rabbit, reducing their attack and defense significantly for a few seconds. If you spam the attack in the middle of a swarm of enemies you will end up surrounded by harmless rabbits that your partner can tear through while you laugh yourself into hysterics. Other games have spells that turn opponents into animals, but this one has very little cooldown and eventually has a minimal cost once leveled up. Zatanna was my main throughout the game whenever I could use her. 

9: Fury (Skyrim)

It's hard to pick the most fun thing to do in the legendary Skyrim, but my favorite is the illusion spell Fury. Sneak up on a group of bad guys, cast Fury on whoever has the biggest weapon, and watch the fun. The spell makes the opponent attack everyone nearby for 30 seconds, making everyone else attack him back. This is a good way to whittle down a harder encounter early on in the game, and is just fun to watch from the shadows. Pick off the remaining guys when they're done and loot the treasure. 

8: Chewbacca's Melee attack (Lego Star Wars)

In A New Hope we get the famous line "Droids aren't known for pulling people's arms out of their sockets when they lose. Wookies are known to do that." Sadly, we don't get to see this in live action until Book of Boba Fett, but we did get to see Chewbacca tear through minifigures in the Lego Star Wars games. Get him close to an enemy and attack and he'll hop up and let everyone know why you let the wookie win. It's better than wielding a lightsaber. 

7: Gargoyle Attack (Batman: Arkham Asylum)

While a staple of the Arkham series, Batman's stealth attack from the gargoyles were the best in the first game. In other games, Batman dives from the top of the gargoyle to snatch an unwary thug beneath, but in Asylum Batman actually hangs upside down until the enemy comes close, when he snatches them up and hangs them unconscious from his perch. It's a small thing, but it's just too funny of an image, especially in a serous game, to see Batman hanging upside down watching someone looking for him. We get his gimmick is bats, but this is just silly. 

6: Reverse Pick-Pocket (Fallout 3)

Characters being able to pick-pocket isn't new in video games. It's a handy way to take what you need without having to get into combat, or in some games, to steal weapons before the fight making it easer to take the bad guy down. Fallout 3 gave us a fun new option: If while pickpocketing you put an explosive into the victim's pockets, which will explode after about three seconds. It's an incredibly mean prank to pull, and unless you're maxed in your stealth it's one you can only use maybe once per combat, but it's a fun way to start a fight. 

5: Peach's Frying Pan (Super Smash Bros)

At first glance Princess Peach is a weird fit for the Smash Bros games, since she is usually a non-combatant, but in the game she brings her own weapon: A frying pan. Perform the right combo and the princess pulls out either a golf club, a tennis racket or a frying pan from the folds of her dress and hits the opponent with it. The frying pan though makes the perfect gong sound that will get you roaring with laughter immediately, making it one of the few weapons in the game that directly effect the player instead of the character. I may've spent several hours in a friends basement in high school perfecting the technique just for the gong sound. 

4: Metronome (Pokemon)

Nearly ten generations after its original debut, metronome is still my favorite Pokemon move. Originally learned by Clefairy and Clefable, the attack picks a random attack and uses it, no matter how useful or useless the ability may be. You might get that perfect electric type move to take out that pesky Seaking, or you might get splash and watch your Clefairy get KO'd. Either way, it's too funny not to use. 

3: HULK SMASH (Marvel Ultimate Alliance)

Hulk's not known for his tactical mind, but he does have a good idea in the Ultimate Alliance series. He picks up one minion and starts using them as a club against other minions, taking out two bad guys at once and scaring everyone who watches him. It's funny to see some HYDRA or HIVE agent attacking thinking that they can take on the Hulk only to be picked up and used as a bat against his coworkers. I wonder if Workman's Comp covers acts of Hulk...

2: Zombie Charger (Diablo 3) 

Before the game was updated and added the Necromancer, the zombie lord of Diablo 3 was the Witch Doctor. His best (okay my favorite) attack is Zombie Charger. When first unlocked a zombie rises from the ground, shambles towards the enemy, and dies attacking the opponent. You can hold this attack down to send a zombie conga line at the enemy, which is terrifying in and of itself. Upgrade the spell though and instead of regular zombies you get to summon swarms of zombie bears, nasty and gooey with rot. Which would you rather face, a regular zombie or a zombie bear? Also which would make you laugh more? 

1: Poke (Worms: Armageddon)

This game features dozens of weapons that are hilarious and fun to use, but the best is a little finger used to poke an opponent and nudge them just a few pixels. You can easily take out an opponent by nudging them off a tall cliff or into a pool of water. It's funny because forget shotguns or holy hand grenades, just killing someone with a single poke is the cherry on the cake for this hysterical game. 

-JOE